Noru Kyong

Yes, but I'm talking about the serious pyromaniacs with an illness and who can then be a serious danger. I don't think its right to accuse a kid of being such and to treat him as a potential threat to society

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Roxanne Blue

I'm sorry, Siggy... went for the "cheap laugh" at your expense...

I just think that hitting children in any way simply teaches them that hitting is acceptable... that bigger people can hit smaller ones... that the grown ups have forgotten who is supposed to be mature here....

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Roxanne Blue... Baroness De Bitche

"Sometimes... there's just a little girl inside of each and every one of us who's looking for people who understand..." - Xiomara.

Hypatia Callisto

Miss Blue, I think Siggy isn't into guys, anyway, and there's another lovely gal who has the coveted position of spanking him.

Ah, the drama of unmet expectations and rejection.

Who is "we" anyway... don't include the rest of us now! I'm perfectly happy to let other lovebirds enjoy their kink in peace!

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"To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. You grant that?"

"I suppose so," said Alice.

"Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

"I call it purring, not growling," said Alice.

"Call it what you like," said the Cat.

Hypatia Callisto

All my neighbors are pyros on New Years eve. It is a scary time, trust me!

Hypatia Callisto

I think it has to be separated, that hitting children, who can't consent to it, and adults enjoying the spanking kink consensually, are VERY different things.

A child doesn't consent to it, an adult is perfectly capable of consent and shouldn't be coddled when they do.

Brig McD

I see this sentiment a lot, and I have to respectfully disagree that this is always the case.

Growing up, I knew that if I crossed the line I would get spanked. 99% of the time I didn't do anything worthy of a spanking. The few times I did get spanked as a child it was well deserved. Did it teach me that hitting is ok? No, quite the opposite. It taught me that there are things that are really bad for a kid to do and there's a consequence if I choose to do them anyway.

IMHO that's the whole point of discipline, to reward good behavior and provide consequences** for unwanted behavior.




**The consequences need to fit the infraction.

Vivianne Draper

I thought a long time before posting this because, even though it happened 40 years ago, I don't like to talk about the time when I had an evil stepfather. But really you never forget. To say he hit me is to say a hurricane is nothing but a rainstorm. He carved a 2x4 into a paddle with a handle and holes in the paddle part so you could hear it whistle right before you felt it on your ass or legs or whatever. He used it every day and for five years I don't remember a day when there were not scabs on my ass and legs because he didn't stop when he broke the skin. And then there was worse but I don't really want to talk about the terror times so I'll stop there except to say that it didn't matter what we had done. The smallest of infractions (not doing chores, taking a cookie out of the cookie jar, etc) were met with beatings. So anyway this, obviously, is going to color the rest of what I have to say. But I don't think what I'm about to say is invalid. Also I only speak for the US -- don't know what its like in other countries.

The only people its ok to hit are children. It doesn't matter what the crime is. Its ok to spank your kids and unless its excessive society will not, in most cases, step in and even if they do the kid is then in for the hell of his or her life as foster care is no cake either. Frankly, as a society, I think we treat children like shit. Schools are the last thing we spend money on. We'd rather spend money on wars. We pay teachers shit money. We pay daycare shit money. We pay social services shit money. I can't figure out why some people even have kids from the way they treat them. But I digress.

OF COURSE ITS NOT OK TO HIT CHILDREN!!! ARE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING INSANE?

We don't hit criminals even. As a matter of fact, once a child becomes a criminal, its not ok to hit him or her anymore! What the motherfucking fuck!? We don't hit rapists, we don't hit murderers, we don't hit the lowest scum of society. But kids? Them we can hit.

Why is it ok to hit kids? Cause they can't hit back? Cause we own them? Cause they have no rights? Cause you aren't held accountable?

Luc and I were talking about this and he says well we cage criminals. But we do that to kids too. "Go to your room," detention, grounding. We do this stuff to kids as well. We may not put them in prison but then again thats a little extreme for pulling Betty Sue's pigtails and stealing cookies from the cookie jar and not doing your homework. And after we cage them -- or maybe before -- then we hit them.

We look at criminals who have been bad all their lives and some say "well they should have been spanked as a kid." Oh what bullshit. Way to blame the parents! Some people are just rotten and I feel bad for the parents that have rotten people for kids. But take one of those rotten people and beat the living shit out of him or her and when they grow up to be a rotten adult then they'll STILL blame it on the parents but this time it will be because they were beaten too much.

If we, as a society, say hitting each other is not ok, then it has to be across the board. It can't be its not ok to hit adults but a smack on the ass of a child is just dandy. Hell we don't even hit PETS ffs.

How anyone can countenance hitting a child for any reason is beyond me.

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Richie Waves

Eddie Murphy in delirious (could have been raw) described my mother perfectly.. boomerang slipper the lot!

I should add I was a pre ADD demon child.

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My lastfm

Oooh, Betty! the cat did a shit in the hat

Sansarya

Vivi. You're right. It's not okay to hit a child. Even spanking one of my children left me feeling more guilty than they felt contrite. Children are very aware of the power difference between adults and themselves, and they test it all the time. Sometimes the kids win (in 90% of the conflicts between me and my children, THEY win, because love and respect for my children is utmost in my heart, not discipline, and I get hell for that all the time from the other adults I live with).

In my culture it's traditionally up to the relatives (uncles and aunts) of the child's mother to discipline her children, because Lakota always wanted to preserve the close, loving relationship between the parents and their child, so no conflict between them was allowed. "It takes a village..." was something our people already had, they raised children as a group, not as individual, satellite families. Children were considered sacred. If a child misbehaved, they were shamed into good behavior, not hit or spanked. Of course, history and assimilation changed all of that.

So, I've been very reluctant to discipline my children, and relatives have stepped in to help (which hasn't always been helpful). The consequence, of course, is that I've been in legal trouble with the schools, social services, etc. because everyone asks me "Who is the parent?" I don't let my kids run wild or control me, but I do consider their opinions and try to parent with compassion, not with the need to be the supreme ruler of their lives.

I think our whole school and societal/parental system in the U.S. is bullshit, and that we put pressures on parents to overpower their children and "teach them who's boss", and if they don't, we punish the parents, AND the children, with social services, child "protection", and eventually prison. I've seen my children treated badly by their teachers because I'm not an aggressive parent, I don't push my kids to be like the other kids, or to conform to what schools imagine children should grow up to be because I don't believe all people should be exactly the same. All I can do is teach them that sometimes adults are screwed up, they have their priorities wrong, and as long as they feel like they are true to themselves, they didn't do anything wrong.

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CoyoteMomiji

*hugs Vivi*

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Slick closed until further notice.

Recidivist Sideways: YOU'LL TAKE MY ROUGH, BUTTERY FRIENDSHIP, AND YOU'LL LIKE IT

Roxanne Blue

My response ended up out of sequence (newbie error), or it might have made a bit more sense.

"We" are trans-women. We're usually invisible /ignored & mistaken for "men"... unless we try to act like the gender we feel is our genuine one.
Then, as children especially, we get a raft of abuse for our gender "inappropriate" behavior from parents, family, our peers, and bullies of all stripes.

I'm not a big fan of hitting.... had enough of it long ago... others are certainly free to enjoy it as a "kink", but it's not the subject here.... "Hitting Children"

I'm all for consenting adult spanking and other mutually satisfying arrangements for the enjoyment of anyone's kink ... as long as neither children nor pets are harmed in the making of such kink.

CoyoteMomiji

This isn't about BDSM and spanking. Come on. This was about hitting kids, who cannot consent.

You dragged in issues that had /nothing/ to do with the subject, and did so in a way that was aggressive towards someone who seems to have done nothing except hit a number of your trigger words.

Vivianne Draper

lol this entire thread is a trigger word for me

Hypatia Callisto

Well, Siggy wasn't talking about transwomen. He made a joke

and you went off the deep end in a dramatic swan dive. And I made fun of you. I didn't even realise you were trans until later on in another thread, but reading back on it I'm even more glad I worded it like I did

Lewis Luminos

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