Trout Recreant

Credit to Max Herzog.

Post pics of Bardesque food here.

Too waxy, to gloppy, plasticy, or just weird looking. I'll start.

I don't even know what this is supposed to be, but I'm for damn sure not going to eat it.



How could anyone do this to pizza? Seriously! How hard is it to screw up pizza?



Even if you saute it and serve it on a nice place, it's still vomit.



What are those pink chunks?

Briar Bing

Some people should just stay out of the kitchen.

My paternal grandma was one who came up with things that looked regurgitated, like those in your pics.

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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
~Mark Twain

Trout Recreant

Don't look at me, Briar. I blame Bard and his horrid looking Eggs Benedict.

But I agree. I've known a few people who should just be banned from the kitchen altogether. I'm not even a picky eater by any means. But any of the foods above would be enough for me to find an excuse to order Chinese takeout.

Edit: I think this might be Broccoli flavored jello...or "snotcake":

Trout Recreant

Blood clot flan. MMmmmmmmmm....

Trout Recreant

This is either WAY too shiny or it's emitting a pink radioactive glow. Either way, I'm now on a diet and that's definitely not on it.

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Bard Jameson

Recreant. You sir, have just added yourself to my list.

Consider yourself warned.

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Trout Recreant

Nobody in their right mind would garnish guacomole with a fresh sprig of mint and lemon zest. This is, therefore, a bowl of sweet, delicious asparagus meringue. You probably don't want to know what the little chunks are.



Edit: lol - the truth is worse than the fiction. It's Lima Bean Dip. I kid you not. Lima bean dip. :vomit:

Bard Jameson

I'll show you "Bardesque" food, you Philistine...










Bastarde!

Trout Recreant

You can post all the good food you want, but it can never compete with stuff like fried swamp-critter organs with chocolate sauce:DSC_0010.jpg

Edit...damn...won't post

Bard Jameson

Your photo links are coming up red X's sir....you'll have to do better than that

Trout Recreant

fixed

Bard Jameson

Bastarde!!!

Bard Jameson

Very well...like the villians of the Batman comics, I will embrace the twist of fate life has dealt me and become the thing society despises...So I now become

The Ugly Chef!

Fear me...if you DARE!







MUAHHHAAAAHHHAAAAA!

Trout Recreant

That's the spirit.

That last one. Wow. I mean, you expect fried worms or goat's head or balut to look as disgusting as it actually is, but when people do stuff to seemingly normal food like what I assume is carrots and potatoes, then that takes a special skill.

Plus, who thought that...what...cake?...was a good idea? Is that a baboon's ass with a spider on it?

I'm still laughing at "lima bean dip" I mean really. Lima beans are, at best, marginal. They are barely food. Turning them into a dip and decorating them with lemon zest and mint is just a horrible, horrible idea.

Trout Recreant

Ahhh. Now they've gone too bloody far!

Vegetarian hot dog:

Trout Recreant

Mmmmmmmm....

Petrified fish and soggy chips:

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Betty Barracuda

Some of this food looks errr...

This thread reminded me of this website with old recipe cards. If you're hungry and don't want to be, tape some of these to your fridge.

Here's a sample of some recipes I just find funny. There are way "tastier" looking ones on there!









For the complete gastronomical experience : Weight Watchers recipe cards, circa 1974

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Betty B.

Trout Recreant

That's exactly the point. I would say avoid exotic and gross looking. It's easy to find a picture of something horrid that is going to be horrid no matter what you do with it. Andrew Zimmern makes a living off of grody weird stuff.

To be Bardesque, it has to be made out of normal food that has gone completely wrong. It can't be disgusting per se. It has to be disgusting in presentation and preparation. I think you have three perfect examples in your post.

Bard Jameson

Yes....YES! Now all of SLU will feel the wrath of...The Ugly Chef!

Consider..you eat fish, don't you. Well? DON'T YOU? Of course you do. And many times I am sure you have eaten fish in some sort of...SAUCE...haven't you? WELL? Haven't you??? Of course you have.

Now consider fish, and sauce in a WHOLE NEW WAY!!!!!



MUAHHHAAAAHHHHAAAA !!!!!!!

/me disappears in a blaze of paprika and anise, leaving a stink not unlike a fart after a trip to Taco Bell

Betty Barracuda

I've been guilty of that. ONCE.

I managed to turn a perfectly yummy meal into a visual horror. It is still a topic of discussion in the house even though it's been over 7 years since the unfortunate incident. I'm just glad camera phones weren't so common back then. It probably would have ended up in some "horrific food your GF tried to make you eat" Flickr pool.

Tip: never put canned spinach into a veggie casserole because you suddenly decide spinach would be a nice addition and you don't have the fresh stuff on hand. You will end up with this horrible looking brownish green muck.

Tasted really good!! But no one believed me enough to have a taste

RandoymRandt

Deliciously Disgusting! Horrific Hors d’Oeuvres for Halloween « Clayton County Library System

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~I believe in love and being released from the tyranny of sim lines.~

Carthalis

I shouldn't have looked at this thread at 8 in the morning I feel quite now

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Rowan Carrol

not quite disgusting. . but still talked about after about 20 years... my mom's friend drove over from her place and spent the night.. she decided to make us all breakfast in the morning.. unfortunately.. she didn't know that my mom kept Bisquik in a contain unlabeled.. and she used it to make gravy... it tasted fine.. but we could have spackled the walls with her sausage gravy...

Aodhan McDunnough

If you gross out easily, balut may be the worst of your Filipino food problems but some will still have problems with Laing and Dinuguan among others. You can find images of these on google.

They are yummy foods at any rate. I particularly like Laing.

Brig McD

I really want this cookbook