Io Zeno

I think female avies that are very well... endowed and dress very... slutty tend to have people assume they are males no matter what is in their profiles, heh.

As I said, unless I was getting personally involved with someone, I don't care, so I honestly just take people as they present themselves to me in SL. That includes friends as well, you tell me what you want me to know, I will not pry.

Affinity

Beebs I went to your place one night with my SL girlfriend. We had a great time cuddling in the booth. I am glad to know that I need to watch my language when visiting. I can be a little over the top in open chat some times because I am such a natural exhibitionist.
On an unrelated topic completely I would love to come over and do my RFD Show from your place one night if you would have me. I have a huge collection of womyn's music that I would love to let loose in a proper venue!

Kyllie Wylie

I agree with Wildefire, people putting in thier sexual orientation in thier profile makes me a wee bit suspect, its not 100% of course, but it raises a flag for me.

Even if it dosnt mean your a crossdresser, it makes you a target for the ones who are because they will read your profile and go "oh here's a live one!"

I think a lot of people think if you put your sexual orientation in your profile it indicates that you are only here in SL for the cybersex.... otherwise why mention it at all?

I kind of learned that when back when I started SL I put in that I was Bi in my profile... all of a sudden I would get IM's "Oh I see you Bi! .. so am I!" and this was from both male and female av's ...

It was like waving a big flag going "Hey! I'm here for Sex and I'll screw anyone!"

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Affinity

You know on the topic of slutty dress, large breasts, and a healthy libido in SL being indicative of a male, well I just have to disagree with that.

Io Zeno

I don't think it's true, either, but it's a common prejudice.

Tya

maybe i have missed it somewhere in this thread, but I haven't seen anyone say anything about the importance of age ...and the legal issue that could arise if one person were false about their age.

i think this is more of an important issue then gender. Not exposing ones gender is different then getting involved with someone who shouldn't be on the grid.

The next person you jump on a pose ball or into a relationship with, be concerned that their age is really what it is ...

Io Zeno

Funny this age topic came up with Luc last night.

Hypatia Callisto

I like sexy clothes, always have. Not only that, I'm reasonably technical too. MUST BE A GUY.

Fail Not a guy! All female! Have proven it time and time again IRL! I defy stereotypes!

Lots of well endowed female avs with a healthy libido are really females. I'd reckon a sizable majority in SL are, if they are your average big boobed hottie interested in guys.

It's only in the clubs catering to a lesbian clientele that I found it often not to be the case. It actually doesn't bother me either way, more amusing than anything. I simply believe that men playing women should be ethical and not try to have relationships with lesbian women who clearly state they don't like guys in that way... its the deception in mismatched expectations that I think is wrong.

__________________
"To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. You grant that?"

"I suppose so," said Alice.

"Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

"I call it purring, not growling," said Alice.

"Call it what you like," said the Cat.

Io Zeno

But it's true. Some kids are very mature and charming for their age. Albert, my friend and old clock shoppe partner was one of them, you could have knocked me over when he first told me he was only 20. A few years less and he still could have pulled it off. And he was very popular with the ladies in SL, myself included.

I've heard stories of women who found out they cybering with 15 year-olds and man, did they have my sympathy. Creep out. :/

Ned Easterwood

A lot of the gals at VB were that way.

I always looked at Profiles when I was there, to see if the visitor was a member or not if she wasn't wearing the tag. I always wondered - and I wasn't alone - about "females" who had nothing but sex groups in their Profiles. No fashion groups - no regular clubs - nothing?
Stripper names always made me wonder - "Trixxie" and stuff like that. Of course, some of them were Europeans who's English wasn't too good.
But the real give-away was behavior. One time a bunch of us were on the salsa line when somebody with one of those stripper names showed up. We were all dressed in the usual mix of street clothes and club wear. This character immediately announced it was too hot and took off half "her" clothes. Then she told us we were all over-dressed.
Surprisingly enough, no one stripped - and nobody invited her to join the group, either. She left shortly thereafter.

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Ned

Tya

i won't get involved with someone unless i am comfortable knowing their age is what they say it is. I have a rule, if you can not voice to prove who you are, then sorry, my involvement with you will just be friends.

Yeah, that's all i need, jumping on a pose ball with an underage person and the next thing you know, police at your door.

You think it doesn't happen? I know someone this happened to and they were involved online for about 2 years. She was in her mid 30s. Very intelligent, witty and a doll. Everyone thought he was in his 30s, only to find out that was not the case, he was 15 when they started their relationship and all hell broke loose when the parents found out, and of course her heartbreak and embarrassment finding out his age by his parents.

Lucifer Baphomet

Both my female accounts have "guy in RL" in their first life tabs.

Hasn't stopped idiots hitting on them though.

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Ned Easterwood

My heavens, we have some very mature young people on this board. I was blown away when I found out Arilynn was only 22. And there are several others.

Cindy Claveau

To me, "boob sliders = 100" can also be of a matter of not understanding how the SL avatar works. Most of us women feel a personal investment in our breasts - I know a couple who've had radical mastectomies and it nearly devastated their self esteem.

Really, I don't care who you are or what gender you are, if you become attached enough to SL you're going to want your avatar to look as good as it can, whether it's male, female, furry or robot. No mystery there - it's human nature. Neal Stephenson said avatars are status symbols and he's right. It's not just the guys who've been fed this 36-24-36/blonde female ideal. Women get it too, from movies and TV and women's magazines.

But what I really wanted to add to Affinity's point was that you have to REALLY try hard and shop around to find SL clothing that doesn't look slutty. It's like the standard or something. And I totally get feeling adventurous putting on outfits we wouldn't be caught dead in in RL - that's kind of the point of SL for some of us.

I don't think you have to be a shrinking violet or overly modest to qualify as "probably a woman" in SL. I think the key usually is a matter of appearance combined with behavior -- it's almost impossible for a real guy to ACT like a real woman. The hormones just won't let them.

__________________
Sometimes, "I hit it with my axe" is the best solution.

Lucifer Baphomet

Oh Tya, we were discussing a friend of mine, who vanished 2 years ago.

She reappeared last night, and when I asked her what she'd been up to, she told me," I finished High School, and now I'm at college"

You could have knocked me over with a feather, LOL.

Odd synchronicity.. the last time I saw her in SL, we were drumming in Darkmere, with Kendra.

And she contacted me while I was at the remembrance

Hypatia Callisto

I never put anything about my romantic life in SL in my profile... and I believe that is for the best. And very much agree with you, saying you are bi in your profile runs up the wrong impression. People will figure it out from my behaviour anyway. I don't really go to hide it, its just that I have different criteria other than plumbing to decide whether or not to date someone. I'm actually very PICKY and hard to get... so bi doesn't really say much of anything other than what sex you are isn't very important to me.

That being said, I am pretty careful around lesbian women, because I am *bi* and in a relationship with a man IRL which is nonnegotiable, and some don't understand that at all. I tend to prefer other bi women like myself for that reason.

Cindy Claveau

PS - edit to add that I heart Savvy Avvy, Dazzle, and Earth & Sky for making my av look like a normal woman again!

Ned Easterwood

I have to confess, after that big thread on getting hit on, I have taken Bea out to see what happens. It's kinda interesting. I have been hit on by the usual jerks, but I have also talked to some nice guys (usually noobs) who have been glad to get shopping tips and so on. I don't tell 'em I'm a guy IRL - but I don't encourage them, either.

(In case you're wondering - I send 'em to Sarah's and the Gnubie Store. If they have money to spend, I send 'em to Alphamale and Second Guy. I always mention Alphamale's freebie pack, too. I make sure they know about NCI and The Shelter. And I usually plug Blaze for more conservative stuff - and Shiny Things for shoes. I basically do the same sorta thing that noob gals who wondered into Venus Beach would get.)

Tya

This girl we used to hang out with left after that happened. Know one has heard from her since.
Scared the living crap out of her.

For a few weeks, i was hanging out with someone, and before anything happened, i wanted confirmation on the persons age. They would not even voice with me or tell me their rl circumstances ( married, involved etc..) why, 1 do not want to go to jail and 2, if you are involved and you need to log out without saying goodbye , you understand and not left with the feeling " wtf did i do"

I have yet to met someone in SL over the last 5 years who has not been in some kind of a relationship. People need to be honest, age, gender and rl involvements. I have seen to many broken hearts over the years and it would have been prevented if those involved were honest from the get go.

Denise Kelley

It's all about honesty for me. If someone lies to me in SL about their RL gender, in order to get whatever it is they want out of me, i'm offended. When i've paraded around in a male avie, i've a) not been looking for "love" and therefore not had any deep discussions that would lead to romance and b) not even bothered to hide the billion and one references that i'm really a female, and not lied about it if asked.
It's not the same as weight... or height or anything really. And aren't there ENOUGH lonely people out there who're looking for a guy/girl willing to dress up as a guy/girl in SL in order to be with another guy/girl that we don't need the deception?

Tya

trust me tya has her share of revealing clothes, though most are casual comfy that i like to wear in rl.

for me, there is a time and place for certain types of outfits. am i a prude, no, it just crosses over from rl.

Cindy Claveau

The weird thing, Tya, is that you described almost exactly the situation that happened to one of my best girlfriends in SL. In fact, the only detail different was that he was 16 instead of 15 and she was married RL. She almost left her husband for this guy she thought was her age (30-ish). Discovering that he was 16 absolutely devastated her. We voice-chatted and the poor girl couldn't stop sobbing she was so hurt.

She ended up leaving her husband anyway, so I don't blame the twerp for that part. But damn, reading the chat logs she shared with me he sure sounded like he was a mature, 30-something guy!

She has disappeared from SL for a while. I've sent her a couple of emails but she hasn't answered. I worry about her now

Io Zeno

I think it's just the shame and embarrassment that make them leave, combined with hurt of breaking up with someone after you find out something like this. It's probably difficult for them to be in SL.

Tya

This happened before SL

I believe this is more common then we realize.Its almost like a "dirty little secret."

Most people would be embarrassed to tell others what happened. I know I would. Its easier to say, 'it just ended.. etc...blah blah"

Denise Kelley

I find that both sad and surprising because the two times i've agreed to meet someone from SL, i had seen them head to toe through various media beforehand. I'd gathered enough info on them long before i had any serious feelings and thought that was the 'norm'!