Lucifer Baphomet

Actually, she is a lovely person.

And even if it was a one night stand (actually it was a three night stand, but anyways) in real life, a short encounter like that COULD lead to a longer relationship.

and furthermore, in the same circumstance in real life, you'd be aware of what the persons genitals were, and whether they had boobs or not.

Deception in an intimate circumstance is still deception whichever way you colour it

__________________

Solanghe Sarlo

Hey Ash

*throws up hands* I just don't know how else to explain it. An attraction which starts out as attraction to a conversation style, wit, similar life view, etc., that doesn't go away. Of course not.

How many more ways can I say it? I am a lesbian. I'm not bi-sexual and can go either way. The idea of sexuality of ANY kind, even if it's silly online emoting/pixel bumpin, with someone I know for sure is a RL male, turns me off. I just don't know how else to say it without verbalizing it in a way that may be offensive. Body parts MATTER.

*heavy sigh*

Previously Posted by IO << To me people aren't just cartoons with a mind, I imagine them as real people if I am intimate with them in that way. And if you are really identified with your orientation, and that is a very individual thing, then yeah, it will be important>>

I think IO says it well, so did Maddie. I just don't know how much better we can explain it.

__________________

Lum Lumley

I think most people understand fine, even if they would prefer to believe otherwise.

Humans are attracted to pairbonding, and for the great majority of us, the gender to whom we are attracted to pairbond with is not open for debate. Much love to all you bisexuals out there but the great majority of people act according to very basic biological needs. Asking them to overlook that isn't fair, and is arguably a form of abuse.

Solanghe Sarlo

You may not read this Confused, but for you and anyone else who might have misunderstood what I was trying to say...

The end of the third day of getting to know this person is when *she* told me she is a he. Those 3 days were really nice; we went ice skating and dancing and shopping. We stayed online way too late talking about everything and nothing. NO SEXIES. A simple virtual kiss on that 3rd day when it began.

Those 3 days would have evolved into more had I my way and *she* had really been a woman. And may I say, bless him for telling me the truth. Because if he'd waited weeks and weeks later, I'd have been really hurt.

So lay off. Dang.

Colette Meiji

I will vouch that Sola doesn't do one night stands, even with real girls.

*pouts*

Confused

/me kicks myself for coming back, but oh well ...

The point is NOT whether you hd sex or not, yes I assumed you had but my point is still valid. You are asking people to reveal something personal aboout tehmselves after a very short period of time. Given that you spend time on women's onlysims you must have some idea of the attidues at them.

TG women and men who use female avies and who for whatever reason reveal themselves or are found out find themselves in many cases being banned, being ignored, being told they are being watched and if they step over the line (what line who knows) they will be banned.

I think it is anunfair thing to expect someone to reveal something about themselves which comes down to the core of who they are. Not all, but many males in female avies (TG or not) have deeply personal reasons for doing so. YES I agree that when getting close to someone that they should say something.

However the expectation that it should be done upon meeting someone, dancing with someone or even a first kiss I feel is unfair. Relationships are so short and to volitle in SL that the expctation someone will jump into telling you soemthing which they may find thrown back at them in two weeks time well insane.

LEt me give you an example. My partner is TG. WE together after she told em made a concious decision to make this known to our group as we felt is could eb a positive learning and understanding experience for those around us. However the backlash from it was shocking. Several people have said the most disgusting things to me, many dont coe to our club anymore and some threatened to have my partner banned from other clubs.

She is no threat to anyone, we are in a long term relationshipp and have been together almost a year. She has no intentions of hooking up with anyone or hurting anyone and yet becuase people know she is on the recieveing end of some nasty stuffat times.

I am not laying into anyone. I am simply TRYING to make the point that for may here thier gender IS a personal issue which can have ahuge impact on their time in SL. You maythink that someone being honest with you should be a given, but when they have been honest in the past and found themselves banned for doing nothing wrong at other places or losing all their friends (has happened to several people i know) well you cn understand why some keep it hidden, at least at first

Io Zeno

Well I don't want to speak to anyone coming to finger wave at people's sex life, ok. You don't even know her, didn't read what she wrote, and seem to have rules about when someone is supposed stop outright lying to another person they have been intimate with, who trusted them, and are more concerned with what date you should use a poseball.

And btw, how safe is your club for lesbians if expecting your patrons really are women is too personal? I guess its also safe for straight men to troll looking for hot chick on chick action then, since that is just TMI.

Fmeh

I personally think that places IN SL that say ONLY women are allowed to even be there, or ONLY men are allowed to even be there, are in some ways asking for people who are not actually that gender to go there with an avatar that IS that gender. Some people take this as a challenge. It's just human nature--if you put up an artificial roadblock, some people will try to find a way around it. Sure, those people who get around those roadblocks and are deceitful about it CAN be jerks, and we can talk about how awful those people are who are deceitful until we're blue in the face, but it's still part of human nature, unfortunately.

EDIT: Let me clarify that I don't think that being deceitful in these manners is a good thing in ANY way, but I guess I just don't understand why some places think they can actually STOP people of a particular gender from going there--if some men want to go to an all women place, they're going to go there regardless because it IS a virtual world and it's certainly a lot easier to cover up.

__________________

Lucifer Baphomet

SHE. NEVER. ASKED.

This person revealed after 3 days they'd been lying to her.

Confused

/me points to the comments shooz nd kyllie have made in these forms about my club. It is well kown and respected for that fact that people CAN feel they can be open and honest abot their RL selves without fear of thebacklash of many female clubs in sl.

I know there are bound to be some RL men who are just there trying to get sex as there are in all female clubs.

But the fact we dont expect people to walk around spouting their RL genders to everyone they dare to meet an havea conversation with is one of the things which makes our club what it is.


I realise you are just trying to defenda friend from some perceved idea you think i have of her, but swearing at another person for having a differing view really is something i dont appreciate.

Confused

Omission and outright lying are two different things. From my understanding if she never asked and they never said im a RL girl.

And ummm if she never asked and the guy told the truth then wht the hell is the problem honestly?? Guys are going to use female avies.... guys in female avies are going to go to female sims...

Guys who say flat out .... ima RL woman and arent... then they are jerks preying on people.

Those who choose not to reveal it to every tracy, marcy and fredrika have a right to do so until they get into a close personal and intimate relationship with another person

Io Zeno

I swear when I'm angry and YOU made me angry.

You came in this thread acting like she was some kind of trolling slut or something because she was upset she had been deceived by someone she had come to like, someone who she believed when he told her he was not only female, but a lesbian. *They didn't even have sex*

NO ONE said people should obligated to give out RL info to anyone. We have discussed the difficulty that lesbians in particular have finding *real lesbians* to have a relationship with in SL because of all the straight men pretending to be and then deceiving them for sex. To the point where even "lesbian clubs" are not "safe".

Confused

I am sorry I made you angry because you assumed that I was attacking someone. I wasnt. and i wouldnt. THAT is not me

I came into this thread thinking nothing mroe than a) maybe the OP was looking in the wrong places for substansial relationships (lesberados is well known in the SL lesbian community as a pick up and one night stand joint). and b) that i disagreed with her expectation that every person who is hiding their RL gender should ahve to say so up front.

Smokergirl Lowenha

I will never say 'I'm confused' ever agian, in case someone mistakes what I say and thinks I am admitting to being this forum user.
From now on, I will say 'I feel bamboozled'.
My life has changed.

__________________
Who needs love when the sandwiches are wicked and they know you at the Mac store?
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=uYSULkXcVYw

Lucifer Baphomet

Sol has every rigfht to be upset, Confused

Lesbians get enough hassle in RL without needing to be dicked around online by some asshole who doesnt realise he can download some girl on girl porn, and fap to that rather than potentially hurting someones feelings

Io Zeno

Oh come on, you are in a female avatar trolling a lesbian club and it's all fair if someone doesn't have you fill out a form.

I will bet you dollars to donuts the profile was just as *deliberately misleading*.

These are straight guys looking for a woman to deceive, who he *knows* she wouldn't be with him if she knew, then he waits to spring it on her after seducing and charming her or worse. That is low.

Smokergirl Lowenha

I'm Confused.
Oh wait. shit, no erm...
I am bamboozled.

Confused

Im not sayign there arent those people, there are and I dontthink much more of them than you do.

BUT i am saying not all of them are like that. Some have experienced trying to be hoenst and having it thrown back in their faces

Im not sure how a profile can be deliberately misleading other than to say "im a RL female".... if you eman they dont say im a RL guy or im TG. Well i dont think they should hve to

Colette Meiji

If I have in my profile that I hate people who have RL blue hair ..

And When I am talking to someone for the first time and its a little flirty I mention "I sometimes worry about sleeping around in SL, cause I might end up sleeping with someone who has RL blue hair..

If that someone continues to talk to me in THAT way, even though they have Blue hair IRL ..

They are fucking fucked up in the fucking head.

It doesnt matter who thinks my hatred of people with RL blue hair is stupid, or not important. I told the person I didnt like people who have RL blue hair. They had plenty of time to bow out and not persue me without revealing to me or others they had blue hair IRL ..

But NO .. they fucking had to go and fucking cyber me even though they had blue hair damnit.

Vengence Opus

step 1) Change your avie to Ms. Pac-Man.

step 2) Watch your problems melt.

Nobody will fuck around with relationship details when an imminent chomping is at hand.

"Well...I haven't exactly been truthful."

"You've got 'til I get to a big dot, motherfucker. run."

__________________


“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose.” ~ Charles Bukowski

Io Zeno

YEAH WTF IS UP WITH THAT?

Fmeh

To play devil's advocate and to show that I actually understand bits and pieces of what Confused is saying, but just little bits and pieces, I must admit that there certainly ARE a number of places in SL that are primarily used as pick-up joints/bars/places. I don't know anything about the place in question, Lesberados, but I DO know there are places that are used primarily to find one-night-stands. Saying otherwise is like saying that bathhouses are designed for people to take showers and rest afterward--it would just be false.

Again, I'm not agreeing with her, but I am pointing out that there ARE places in which people go primarily to have one night stands. I have NO idea whether Lesberados is actually one of those places.

Io Zeno

I KNOW YOUR ALTS!

Fmeh

If they don't want people to be angry if they've made it seem like they're interested in the other person in ways beyond any sort of mere acquaintance, or beyond a friendship, they really SHOULD disclose that information in some way, whether on their profile or just telling the person that. If you think people should be able to be deceitful, I don't know what to tell you. I don't think that's what you're saying, but the reality of things is that for people to NOT disclose that information somehow in the open in some way, to most or at least a LOT of people, IS being deceitful.

Vengence Opus

you know NUSSING!!