Confused

To the OP: Your first mistake was going to a sim called Lesperados. I have found any sime which is named Lesbian, Lesbos etc etc is a hub for femaale avies just looking for a quick fuck and not caring about feelings. That goes for those who are women, men OR TG in RL.

The thing about this is that the places which try to police what sexes are in avies mostly result in those avies learning to never reveal their RL sex for fear of being kicked out. Now some people will keep it hidden regardless, it IS going to happen, but you do find in places which are TG friendy or which have a more open ppolicy that a higher percentage are honest.

FABGlitter which Shooz mentioned earlier I run. Our only ask is that people use a female avie while at the club. We have a policy of openness and most RL men who arent TG tend to runn a mile when they listen to TG girls chatting openly about it, cos those are people who are just out for sex.

Look for the female hang outs which dont make sex a aprt of their space at all. I havenever been to Beeboo's place but it sounds good. FABGitter has a PG pose ball policy.


We joke about the fact my wife in SL is a closet male lesbian. She is Tg but isnt out in RL right now so outwardly in RL she is a guy but she is a woman inside who loves women

I dont think this is fair. I run a 'lesbian club. Though I hate that term, we are a club for women. A club like this should be a haven for these women, a safe place for them to feel comfortable to express their sexuality and all of ho they are without fear. This is what we foster. Not a place for lesbians to meet hook up and bonk

I disagree. It is a club where you can feel comfortable and safe It has nothing to do with hooking up

i dont think it is fair to expect everyone you want to take home for a one night stand to let you knwo something as intimately personal (esp in here cos by telling you they risk baing banned from many sims if you get upset and go on a rant telling people... not to say you would... but it does happen).

I do think that it should be told if it is gettign into a serious intimate personal relationship, but anything else?? IT is their private business and thay have a right not to have to disclose that

Sadly this happens way to often. There are a number of 'lesbian' clubs which have a no butch policy. I have a list of them. There are also many that have a no RL men or TG oemn policy (funnily enough those are the ones most frequent). Thats when peope go underground and lie.

It is depressing that a group of people who experience discrimination everyday are so good at discriminating against our own

Asher Bertrand

...

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Arilynn

But I don't understand asking someone her age unless you are willing to divulge yours. I answer, but rarely ask for their age as well - I try to ask only open-ended questions about people's RL. I don't understand this:

Guy: How old are you?
Me: IRL? 22
Guy: OK.
Guy: I'm not going to say my exact age. Let's just say I'm [older than dirt/no longer young/old enough/over30/blah]

Why ask if you can't say yourself? I have encountered this many, many times in SL.

Sooz Pascale

Since I have a RL photo posted on my 1st life tab of my SL profile, I don't have to contend with age questions, and most people don't doubt my gender, unless I tell them.

Sooz

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Solanghe Sarlo

QFT.

Maddie has taken the words right out of my mouth very eloquently in this post and her previous one. I really can't express it any more clearly or to the point.

Why is this such a hard concept for some to grasp? Maybe if the idea is flipped....If a heterosexual person were so inclined to engage in a little online slap and tickle, would they *really* not care if the person on the other end was the SAME gender? Wouldn't that be rather disturbing or kind of EW to them? Srsly.

Bisexuals are of course not included in this scenario, nor are folks who are bi-curious or questioning.

If we're talking about friendship here then I don't care a wit. If it's more than that then yes the idea of that person being a male is very, very distasteful.

*has fainted from belaboring the point and beating the dead horse*

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Mocksoup Graves

I don't mean to imply that anyone is shallow. I just think who someone is on the inside is the most important part. If they are playing a female, is it because they identify with being female? Is it because they want to play Porno with you? The motivation is more important to me than say their possession or lack of dangly bits.

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Charlemagne Allen

The correct term is TruckNutz, I'm pretty sure.....



Official Store here!
http://www.trucknutz.com/

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Pretty things:
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Ned Easterwood

Oh - I see. Misread the post.
I never ask.

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Ned

Lewis Luminos

Thats exactly what I would have said. I wouldn't have a hope in hell's chance of recognising any kind of hair, unless it also happened to be one I'd purchased for myself.

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Asher Bertrand

But that is exactly what is so foreign to me.

I can't understand how you can be attracted to someone - and then just have it stop because of anatomy. It simply doesn't make sense to me. And perhaps that's why my comments earlier came across as frustrating to you.

Io Zeno

Gah, I'm eating in.

Confused you seem confused. I never said gay or lesbian clubs were default meat markets. But the OP *was* interested in finding a partner, not a friend. And just because your place may be for the chaste, lol, not everyone goes to a club of any kind refusing to meet anyone for anything *gasp* sexual. It can just happen. You may want it to happen. And if it does you may want to be sure the person you meet is really what they say they are.

I daresay even women at the irreproachably ladylike Beebo's meet partners on occasion.

Ned Easterwood

I know Mereille wears a lot of ETD hair - but do I know which is which? Hell no.

I do pay attention to what she wears, so I can frequently make a quasi-intelligent male comment, like, "Have I seen that (hair/top/dress/whatever) before? I don't remember it." That at least shows that I'm paying attention.

Io Zeno

Oh and btw, lay the fuck off Sol. She knew this "woman" three DAYS that is hardly a one night stand.

Take your finger out of her fucking face.

Colette Meiji

This is blatantly prejudicial really,

Since what are the Lesbians who *DO* care about the RL sex of their virtual partners supposed to say on the subject?

There is a ridiculous double standard that has been around for as long as Second Life ...

And that basically is ...

that it is somehow less bad for a Lesbian or Bi woman in a lesbian relationship to be lied to by a fake woman she is dating.

Than it is for a man to be lied to by a fake woman he is dating.

Hypatia Callisto

Thanks, I'll have a look at your place



agrees

I personally prefer clubs that allow everyone, because I like a variety of people to talk to and sex is not on my agenda, its meeting new people, making new friends and having a nice time. On the other hand, I do want to meet more people like myself, not for sex but to make new friends and find a support network.

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"I suppose so," said Alice.

"Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

"I call it purring, not growling," said Alice.

"Call it what you like," said the Cat.

Colette Meiji

The answer is really really simple Fmeh.

There is a difference between stating a preference and allowing people to avoid you if they don't meet that preference ..

And attempting to coerce people to do things like Web Cam and Voice in order to "prove" something.

Thus if someone says in their profile or during casual conversation before any dating .. "I only date people who I have webcammed with."

It is not the same thing at all as .. "You are hot, Go on Webcam for me nao and prove your a real girl!"

Solanghe Sarlo

OK sorry but this is just BS in my opinion.

This is VERY naive. People go to clubs for all kinds of reasons; hooking up is *one* of them. Some go for the company and companionship that has nothing to do with as you put it *a quick fuck* Come on. And yeah, you're right it SHOULD be a safe haven. That is part of my point about straight men misrepresenting themselves as gay females.

For SOME people, hooking up *is* the intent. Not for ME, but for many. Again, very naive outlook.

Excuse me? What on earth is so "intimately personal" about telling someone that I'm a RL girl?? What's wrong with expecting that bit of simple truth from someone else?

Furthermore, never in my OP did I say ANYTHING about taking someone for a *one night stand*. When I made the comment about "sexies" I WAS MAKING A JOKE. Re-read my orig post please.

Again, re-read my OP.

BTW, I've been to Fab's. Nice place, very low key.

Colette Meiji

While certainly more rare than the SL stereotype would lead you to believe, Men Hating Lesbians do exist in real life.

So do men hating Domme lesbians.

Even men hating conservative republican Domme Lipstick lesbians who have Blingy Giant Boobed/Ass SL Avatars exist IRL..which must be pretty damn rare.

Still kinda miss Posh even though she was a total bitch, rest in peace.

Hypatia Callisto

hm, PG pose balls don't mean there is no sex or no sexualised atmosphere. I think the Witches' Brew in the past can handily attest to that... quite a sexualised atmosphere and no sex balls at all.

Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with each other. What IS nice is to not have blatant sex forced on your computer screen when you don't necessarily want to be confronted with it off the bat. Some of us have RL situations which make such situations uncomfortable or even impossible.

Solanghe Sarlo

Been there Maddie.

Colette Meiji

If she doesn't just cut her, Io.

Colette Meiji

ZOMG!

I heard there are Lesbian clubs IRL where sometimes some of the women who go there actually hook up!

Hypatia Callisto

I agree, but I also think, that for me, much depends on the *context*

I see nothing wrong with a woman who is really a lesbian IRL stating what she wants (no fauxbians), but sometimes, the alarm goes off on some profiles where it really reads like a homophobic straight guy worried he's gonna have the cyberz with another guy playing a lesbian.

It's definitely LULZ-worthy but I don't see it as a double standard. Rather its two different situations that depend very much on the contexts surrounding them. Sadly one sometimes gets confused with the other, which is why I tend to just reserve judgement entirely in most cases unless its really blatantly obvious.

Confused

Wow, are you a lovely person.

I wasnt laying into ANYONE. Im sorrybut to me three days is a one night stand, or at least definately not anythign serious enough to be warranting insisting on answers to very personal and intimate RL questions.

/me logs out and shuts off SLU, cos to be honest I dont want to speak to anyone who feels the need to swear at me for disagreeing with them

Asher Bertrand

Oy vey.