Lucifer Baphomet

for me it was after i ran out of fingers and toes to count on.

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Io Zeno

I think it was 35. I said fuck it I'm not counting anymore.

Lucifer Baphomet

ach who cares...

you easily pass for 35 or less

Io Zeno

Yes I can.

Honestly, my aging comes in spurts. Up until a few years ago, I occasionally still got carded, lol. Now, I've suddenly aged a bit more.

Lucifer Baphomet

That's the stress of being with me

Macphisto Angelus

I just remember the first time some teen called me "sir". I was just a little over 20 for crying out loud.

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If life is just a joke, why aren't we laughing?

JennL

No not at all. Sorry if you thought that and apologies.

It was just my experience in places like the old kitty where many would go ..omg a guy (the place was mixed but mainly frequented by women). And from my little experience when i saw in a profile "i date girls only" or something to that effect, i sometimes read it a different way.

Sean Gorham

This is a topic I've given a lot of thought to over the years.

My RL gender is no secret. It's in my profile's 1L tab. (Ask anyone who met me at SLCC.) Experience has taught me that it's better in the long run to practice full disclosure when the situation requires it.

I present cross-gender in SL to satisfy my curiosity and to have fun. At the same time, I try hard not to give in to the usual male-fantasy foolishness that a lot of guys do when using a female avatar. While I try to behave the way I believe an RL woman would, usually I'm just myself. I've learned quite a bit by sticking to that policy.

In my opinion, online interactions among people have a long way to go before we can really learn to divorce what's online from what's physical. I see it as a generational issue. As more people grow up steeped in internet culture, the difficulty of online identity versus physical identity will lessen.

Mind you, I don't go around in-world wearing a prim sign with "GUY" written on it. If J. Random Avatar doesn't read my profile, well... I can only do so much. If I become friends with somebody and the topic of identity comes up, I deal with it then.

If today I entered into an intimate relationship with someone in-world, I would make every effort to be honest with them about my RL self. I feel it's less painful that way. Some people don't want to know that information; I'm OK with that too. I don't know how I'd handle intimacy issues with someone willfully ignorant of my RL self, since I've never been there. My experimental cybering days are behind me anyway, so I (hopefully) don't have to worry about it.

On the flip side, full disclosure shuts some doors, too. The example of the "fauxbian" trolling some womens' hangouts in-world struck a chord with me. While I have enough self-confidence to not identify with that particular stereotype, I also don't want to make others uncomfortable. I realize that some are disturbed simply knowing "OMG, that's really a guy, what's he doing here?" so I err on the side of caution and avoid those areas.

Life is overly complicated sometimes, isn't it?


(Apologies if this seems rambling. I took like an hour to write this so I didn't have a wall-o-text. )

Mocksoup Graves

I have stuff to say but all of it borders on TMI to divulge.

If it isn't going RL, does it matter? I mean really? And shouldn't you like someone based on their personality and mind rather than if they are an innie or an outie? And if it does go real life, I mean if you aren't attracted to a guy physically, then you aren't...but most SL relationships don't have to cross over into RL like that.

Obviously it is your choice, but again... isn't it our minds that matter?

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Trout Slut Rating : Boobie UPDATED to a 7! WOOT!
You are marginally a slut, but still all lady, and you know exactly when to cross that line. Congratulations and shame on you! You are a slut, but only in the best, most empowering and beautiful definition of the word.
MockBlog
Plurk

Cindy Claveau

Back when I sysop'd on a Compuserve board (one where gender-bending was severely frowned upon), we sysops made up a list of warning signs that indicated guys-pretending. That was in the days of text, but cutesie names like "Bambi" were good enough to get someone flagged.

One of my jobs was to arrange a phone call to voice-verify the suspect. Most of the time it turned out to be a real woman and I actually made friends with a couple of them. The guilty guys would just disappear and we'd lock the door behind them.

I'll never forget one case where I got a PM from a member saying that his private cyber partner was making him suspicious. I asked him why, and he said "She doesn't know what a speculum is."



I PM'd the suspect and they immediately disconnected. I never chose to ask the guy what they were playing. I like to think of that little game as "T.M.I."

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Sometimes, "I hit it with my axe" is the best solution.

Ned Easterwood

Age can be a barrier, Arilynn. Doesn't have to be - shouldn't be - but it can be.

One of the wonderful things about SL is that, as we talk, we read each other's words, and don't have to deal with anything but the words. The other stuff - age, RL physical appearance, and so - becomes less important. You get to know the typist - the real person back there.

Mereille wondered if I was a guy when she was still with Bea - and decided, because of what I said - who I was - she didn't care.

I will never forget what Walker said in my coming out thread.
I can't read that thread - because I get right there, and I start to tear up. I am now.

So I don't give out my precise age - although those of you who pay attention might have some pretty good ideas.

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Ned

Carter-Madhu

When people say things like "isn't it our minds that matter?" it makes me feel shallow. But I'm not shallow; I'm a lesbian. Not bisexual - lesbian.

As I said above, part of the fun for me is imagining that the person on the other end is as excited and happy as I am. And it's just a fact that if I let myself imagine a man in that state ... well, just ew. It's not what I want, and it's not what I'm here for. Game over.

If I'm looking for a friend, yes, it's the mind that matters. But if I'm looking for a lover, the mind alone is not enough. I don't want to do it if I know it's a man at the other end. I just don't.

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Lucifer Baphomet

ADMIT IT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER

Carter-Madhu

And one more thing. I set aside my sexual preference and married for love in RL because the person had a perfect mind for mine.

Guess what? That works so damn well for me that I am here talking about what I look for in a SL lover.

Io Zeno

You know, it's fine to me if it doesn't matter to someone, they are certainly freer in their choices but like Madhu it does matter to me. To me people aren't just cartoons with a mind, I imagine them as real people if I am intimate with them in that way. And if you are really identified with your orientation, and that is a very individual thing, then yeah, it will be important.

Envoy Costagravas

Doesn't have to: Ned has it stenciled on the side of his walker.

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"When Men differ in Opinion, both Sides ought equally to have the Advantage of being heard by the Publick;
and that when Truth and Error have fair Play, the former is always an overmatch for the latter."
~ Benjamin Franklin

Lewis Luminos

I was saying I was 42 when I was still 41.I just... forgot I hadn't actually had my birthday yet. Now 42 is a good number, I think I'll keep it. :-D

The one time I get uncomfortable about my age is when I'm talking to someone who turns out to be really young (like, around my daughter's age), and I worry they're going to think of me as a creepy old man.

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-- Just Add Ginger -- -- Plurk -- -- last.fm -- -- flickr --

Lewis Luminos

Age doesn't matter. Maturity matters.

Sooz Pascale

So....srsly? If I put "I'm bi" in my profile, it might get me hit on? Srsly? I'm gonna do it. Unless this is a hyperbolic joke.

I like to think I can usually spot, after a while, a guy in a female AV. I call it "T-dar." Keep in mind I regard transgendered [MtoF] AVs as female. I know some of you don't, but I do.

There are certain clues, but overall its not a checklist, but a feeling, an intuition. Blonde, Boobzilla Blingtards with slutty clothes are certainly a signal. Behavior is another one. Men TEND to be more direct, but not always. Its hard to define, but men and women communicate differently.

OK...here's a sort of over done example, its not usually this cut and dried, but let's say I walked into a lesbian club where I didn't know anyone.

AV1: Hi
Sooz: Hi there.
AV1: Wanna dance?
Sooz: I'd be delighted

AV2: hello Susanne
Sooz: Hi there AV2
AV2: Is that Armidi hair?
Sooz: Yes it is!!!
AV2: Don't you just love Armidi?
Sooz: GAWD yes!
AV2: Would you care to dance?
Sooz: I'd be delighted

Which one is male? which is female?

Sooz

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Nothing sickens me more than the closed door of a library - Barbara Tuchman

Kyllie Wylie

You know, I now feel Really Really old now that I have found out that I am older then the Devil himself ....

When I'm playing my Vampire I often say i'm 329 ... again.

(I'm 44 in RL)

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Io Zeno

hrm, not if it has any possibility of moving to RL.

I'm not going to marry a 20 year old no matter how I feel about him, it's not a relationship that has a real future, to me. The gulf is too wide.

Ok, off to dinner.

Ned Easterwood

Eirik

I hope that you're going to say the 1st. Otherwise I have to stop fashion blogging.

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Imnotgoing Sideways

Yes. =^-^=

Heh... Really... Both of those could be me, depending on the mood I'm in. Though, I do have this bad habit of inspecting, so a lot of the time I already know where someone got all their stuff before we start chatting. (T_T)

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Somewhere in this world; there is someone having some good clean fun doing the one thing you hate the most. (^_^)y




Darkly Cute :: Ferguson :: Glasses, Eyes, Gestures... Goth, Loli, Anime. (^_^)y
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Ferguson/54/237/94
http://tinyurl.com/DarklyCute-SLX

Ned Easterwood

Bea would have been like this:

Bea: hello AV3
AV3: Hi there Bea
Bea: You look lovely tonight
AV3: Thank You
Bea: Would you care to dance?
AV3: I'd be delighted

Somewhere between.

Maybe that's why I never set off Sooz' T-dar.