The Mummy / Tom Cruise - SLUniverse Forums
Old 01-13-2018, 05:38 PM   #1 (permalink)
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The Mummy / Tom Cruise

There's so much wrong with this movie that I felt compelled to comment on it, despite it having been out for a while.

In a nutshell, it felt as if Cruise got to write and direct it without supervision. No crowd testing, no outside input.

Worst bit of dialog was a badly paced moment when the side-kick rhetorically asks "That was exciting, wasn't it?" I felt like he was asking me not the actor on the screen and I was inclined to answer 'nope'.

Cruise's acting seemed like he wanted to be both Indiana Jones AND Brendan Fraiser's character in the previous Mummy movies. He's too old and too type-cast to pull it off. Both he AND his character come across looking like pathetic old man-children unaware that they're long past their prime. And don't get me started on Russel Crowe's fat-Jekyl/Hyde attempt.

Storywise: Ancient Egyptians can apparently dig a cavern prison with an endless supply of liquid mercury, but can't figure out how to bash an evil crystal against a rock a few times. sigh.

The only halfway redeeming sequence in the movie, imho, the "airplane going down" segment, where they're being tossed around inside the cargo bay. And even it had some weird pacing problems.

I don't expect perfection, but when it comes to 'big stars & big budget' I expect there to be at least -some- kind of quality assurance on a production... but it seemed like this was waved through post-production and chucked out into the world without anyone asking "Is this really how we want to try launching a new franchise?"

It did so badly, that I think we all may be spared the intended sequels in Universal's "Dark Universe" that this flop so awkwardly and blatantly foreshadowed.

Did anyone else bother with this movie?
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Old 01-13-2018, 06:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I saw it a while back and totally agree with you. Some moments where so cringey that I had to laugh and shake my head. I set the bar very low because I saw some people talking how bad it was, but this movie managed to be even worse than I expect it to be.
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Old 01-13-2018, 06:51 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I had no idea it even existed, which says something about Cruise's waning star power.
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Old 01-13-2018, 08:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I'll stick with the 1999 one.
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Old 01-15-2018, 08:12 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I refuse to watch remakes unless they are at least 3-4 decades old.

Hollywood should be ashamed of themselves.
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Old 01-15-2018, 08:17 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm not sure you can call this one a remake. They should have called it Mummy Impossible, which would have been a little closer to the mark.
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Old 01-15-2018, 08:44 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Why did the Egyptians bury their Big Bad in Persia? Where did they get that much mercury (which appears to be based on stories about the tomb of the Chin Emperor)? Why did a plane narrowly escape a sandstorm and then crash in the English countryside without repairs or refueling? Why is Tom Cruise?
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Old 01-15-2018, 10:14 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Look tis very simple. If Tom Cruise is in a movie then chances are it is going to be absolute shit.
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Old 01-15-2018, 05:37 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Look tis very simple. If Tom Cruise is in a movie then chances are it is going to be absolute shit.
Probably safe to say that of things he's in that aren't movies too. A certain cult of exploitation comes to mind.

Of course, they might be right about aliens... there's something definitely not human about this face, it's like he's got some kind of rubber mask on and it stretched badly.

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Old 01-16-2018, 07:18 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Look tis very simple. If Tom Cruise is in a movie then chances are it is going to be absolute shit.

I enjoyed Oblivion and Edge of Tomorrow.
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Old 01-16-2018, 07:27 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Old 01-16-2018, 11:09 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I enjoyed Oblivion and Edge of Tomorrow.
And Minority Report, and Tropic Thunder, and Born on the 4th of July. and Rainman, and American Made, and Interview with the Vampire. and Magnolia.
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Old 01-17-2018, 03:19 AM   #13 (permalink)
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He is just too batshit crazy with all the scientology stuff these days, he could be giving the best performance ever and I still cant stand it. Its just Tom Cruise playing Tom Cruise in whatever movie he happens to be in these days.

I remember what it was that finally drove me over the edge, it was seeing him hopping on that couch on the Oprah Winfrey show.
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