Joshua Nightshade

And people probably wouldn't act that way if it didn't keep happening.

Again, you've only seen the last year of this stuff. It's gone on longer than that. And there is absolutely a tendency to go "Aww, have a hug," which is not substantial help, does not fix anything, and only gives someone struggling with issues the feeling that they only need to punt the problem over to someone else to take care of making all the decisions. I don't think he's confronting this head on, and I do know that I've posted lots of advice based on my experience with close involvement with people who are bipolar, and it was all systematically ignored in favor of the simple, easy, quick-fix stuff that will make him feel better for a day before it comes back and he makes himself feel bad and a failure because it didn't help. Repeating that cycle won't make him get better, relying on religion or a social group or whatever won't make him get better.

Those things are absolutely great to have in conjunction with a mental health specialist, which, as far as I know, he still has not gotten, and until he begins tackling those issues nothing else is going to make him feel normal completely.

I'm not at all telling him to drop the other stuff, but I definitely think he needs to get the therapist first, and the other stuff second, and I'm not going to be made to feel like a bad guy for saying it.

__________________

Bard Jameson

I read this entire thread, then went back to Fmeh's original post.

Seems to me he's just asking advice about Hinduism - what its about, what meaning may be found there.

Can't say I see him asking for advice on his psyche.

Probably just my blindness, no?

__________________
Coming Soon - BARATIA!

Since the fall of the Berlin Wall, we’ve been telling ourselves we’re the last superpower left standing – and doesn’t it strike you as odd that no one wonders what happened to the rest of them? - Justin Raimondo

RandoymRandt

YOu're not bad; at the point where I said "condescending" you hadn't even posted yet.

I agree with you, and I believe he is. I also pushed for him to see a HIGHLY trained person on his issues because he's been diagnosed with many depending on who and when. He's in a vicious circle, IMO, agreed, but hopefully spiraling UPWARD.

I agree telling him "have a hug" isn't helping / is condescending (even THO well intended)...nor is "watch out" and "be careful"...it's all just recycling that he's incapable.

I mean, how else do you stop the cycle (in this case on SLU) than to ask people, as I did, please not to warn him about something as potentially positive as finding a community?

It could all fail, that's always the case, but even then who knows what seeds may sprout.

Joshua Nightshade

And last time he was only asking for advice about uprooting his whole life and location because he wasn't happy with the gay scene in Washington state and wanted to go to San Francisco where he'd be so much happier etc etc and I'm sure that had nothing to do with his psyche either.

RandoymRandt

Nope, you're right, it was on religion only...until we kinda started on the "be careful" parts.

I was totally cool with the thread until I saw the dreaded "watch out" talk starting.

Isabeau Imako

No one's treating Fmeh as an 'emotional invalid'.

Anyone who's 'browsing' for a religion as one would browse for a new apartment needs to be told to be careful. It's not Fmeh.

Religion is about belief and worship of a god. It's not a decision you take lightly. You don't just look at the menu and say "Yep, that's for me."
And you certainly don't tell someone,

"Oooh! How about this one. That looks like fun!"
"Oh no, no. This one looks even better! Try that one! Yipeeee"

Isabeau Imako

And then she wasn't cool about it, so she decided to be a meddling ass as usual.

Not your thread Random Rant.

Joshua Nightshade

Okay I don't think this tangent is probably necessary.

RandoymRandt

Yes, this is unnecessary, and you didn't spell my name right (heh), which offends me much more than whatever it is you are on about, even after I apologized to YOU about using your post as an example.

Do us both a favor: MUTE ME.

kthxbye

Tracer Graves

I think the undertone to your posts, Josh, is:

"this is just another one of Fmeh's ideas that won't help him a bit, just like the last thing"

Maybe you honestly feel that way and maybe you have good justification to do so based on past experiences. I just still don't think this is necessarily the best tone to speak to him with (*edit-even if you end up being right). It just seems a little too dismissive.

Also, finding some sort of 'spiritual' path or context to frame your life in can be a very, very healthy thing. Sure, don't go join the religious cult down the street and don't approach religion as some sort of quick fix. Don't quit traditional medical approaches. But finding a way to come to terms with your life and putting it in a larger more meaningful context can do a great deal to stabilize oneself. And yes, be careful that you don't get too sucked into a religious paradigm as you may abandon or reject it at some point in the future.

Bard Jameson

So? I don't see how you or anyone is terribly put out. What's your complaint? That you feel you have to type more?

If he was your errant brother-in-law who has borrowed a couple thousand dollars and never paid you back, I could understand. But what's the issue here? Bits cost more Down Under?

Actually, I disagree. Why not try one from Column A and one from Column B? I was raised with the idea that religion was a buffet from which I might taste freely. I feel it served me in good stead - because I don't take it too seriously.

Joshua Nightshade

It's more that I believe he focuses far too much on temporary quick fixes instead of attacking the root of his issues. It's less about the religion thing du jour and more about how he seems determined to avoid getting to the base of his problems, healing them, and getting better.

Bard this is a ridiculously stupid and offensive post, and I'm not even bothering with it beyond giving you more than the initial emoticon I was going to at first.

RandoymRandt

Joshua has more experience with Fmeh than most of us in particular to this topic.

No doubt.

But again...can we all agree that it's time to let Fmeh sit at the big kids table and just respond to him the same as we would anyone else, knowing full well he may do whatever he wants anyhow, and that NONE of us can fix him or save him from himself?

That's all I am asking. Same treatment for everyone.

Bard Jameson

right back atcha, sweetie

Jessica Robertson

I'm going to save you some time and the results of some buddhist meditations.

Ignore the past, it's gone.
Don't worry about the future, it will soon be here.
Live in the moment, be sad when you feel sad, be happy when you feel happy... just remember happiness and sadness aren't real. They are chemical states that make you feel.
Don't forget, the present is full of lulz... find them.
You're brain creates tons of tangential thoughts, don't let those thoughts control you, or they will. Focus on your thoughts and create them.

Your brain is a tool for the mind, not the other way around. Let your mind use your brain, don't let your brain dictate to the mind.

There is my philosophy in a nutshell.

__________________
This thread has gone horribly wrong...

- Tya

Isabeau Imako

I agree, and it's also true for me.
But there is no religion called 'Buffet' (not being sarcastic - I like the term). Picking from different philosophies and religion is great, but it's not 'a' religion onto itself.

Tracer Graves

Well, sure. I agree that he shouldn't approach it as a quick fix. I don't live inside his head and have his emotions, so I have a hard time knowing just exactly what he's going for with his decisions.

However, my own personal approach to religion has directly consisted of long-term approaches to dealing with the root of my problems, so I guess that's a lot to do with where I'm coming from. To me, if done correctly, religion (especially something like UU) in the midst of a supportive and non-fanatical community can bring a lot of emotional healing. Also, my own personal belief about medications and therapy is that they are just another tool we have in helping us deal with our problems. I'm sure there are some definite biological aspects to his situation, and medication can be a real aid, but from what I've read, they haven't exactly fixed the root problem either.

RandoymRandt

You don't know much about UU then.

But you can't read this, so don't worry, what you don't know won't hurt you.

Willow Matthews

Wewt Jessica.

Joshua Nightshade

I wouldn't suggest medication as a fix for psychological issues either, and haven't. Medicine on its own is as much a quick fix as anything else.

RandoymRandt

aye, there's the rub.

he posted a laundry list on what he's tried once to FB.

RandoymRandt

(well...this much is for sure...we care a lot about the fella)

Bard Jameson

When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep.

Have you finished your rice?

Yes.

Then go wash out your bowl.

Not much more, really

Tracer Graves

The mind is the best story-teller in existence. This is a great thing, but it can also lead one into the pits of despair quite unnecessarily. Once you realize that you have a choice in how react to your moods, it is very empowering. That's the thing I really love about the Buddhist practices I've done before is that it has given me much greater control with how I spin my life to myself and how I react to pleasant and unpleasant situations.

Lucifer Baphomet

Some more good stuff about Hinduism...

Erotic Temple Art







WAIT...

WTF IS GOING ON WITH THE HORSE IN THE LAST ONE?!?!?

__________________