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Old 03-03-2018, 01:21 PM   #1426 (permalink)
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Son sent me a link to this Craigslist ad ......

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Selling beloved work truck. Pre-Tacoma 2WD Toyota 1Ton. Used for hiking, hunting, contracting, home improvement, vandwelling, construction, occasional vagabonding. Could also be used for airsoft, paintball, Amazon Flex, and driving foreign dignitaries to secret CIA jungle prisons.

The good:
- Detailed! Spotless.
- Just two owners! Owned by a Grandpa and an Eagle Scout. The Carfax report will bore you to tears.
- Curb weight just under 3,000lb means better mileage and higher top speed than the 4x4
- Very rare, very low 8 foot bed makes Home Depot runs a lot easier
- Topper is sealed and fits a twin-sized mattress with 18+ inches of room to spare!
- HAM Radio if you're a doomsday prepper, zombie survival enthusiast, or want to talk to long-haul truck drivers on long, post-romantic, existential cross-country road trips as you reminisce about the decay of the American Dream
- Eligible for Collector Plates in two years!
- Some trims came with a Crossover above the radio. The 1Ton came with something much less common on an import in 1990: cup holders.
- Northwest Forest and Discovery Passes through March. Go hiking next time it's sunny!
- A Tacoma is a WRX for people with responsibilities

The bad:
- Tachometer linkage cable vibrates violently on cold mornings. Sounds like the Decepticon in the engine bay is about to murder you. This truck's two owners have had the problem looked at by four mechanics and they all laughed it off.
- You'll be hit on by "overlanding enthusiasts" with eight Instagram followers and two friends, old men reminiscing about their youth, and swooning hiker babes while you're just trying to fill up your damn gas
- Tabs expired

The ugly:
- 5spd. Your future supermodel girlfriend can't drive it
- AM/FM/Cassette player will not get you laid. Does come with a cassette->Aux converter.
- Stock 4-Speaker system is a step below throwing your cracked iPhone in a plastic bowl
- Driver's side window is a bear to roll down. You're going to have to step out of your 28 year old truck and pick up your $8 organic hemp milk sugar free vanilla lattes in the lobby
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Old 03-03-2018, 01:45 PM   #1427 (permalink)
But it refused. <3

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Old 03-03-2018, 08:53 PM   #1428 (permalink)
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Mass starvation of virtual bunnies due to a cease and desist order. Now THAT is Second Life!
la lucha sigue...
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Old 03-04-2018, 01:40 PM   #1429 (permalink)
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Old 03-04-2018, 01:58 PM   #1430 (permalink)
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Um, why is the I in AIR not turned, but it is for IN and TONIGHT? Because FAKE!

The internet has ruined me, just in a different way.
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Old 03-04-2018, 02:35 PM   #1431 (permalink)
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Meh. Details, shmetails!
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Old 03-06-2018, 12:14 AM   #1432 (permalink)
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Old 03-08-2018, 08:42 AM   #1433 (permalink)
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Old 03-08-2018, 10:42 PM   #1434 (permalink)
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Old 03-11-2018, 12:32 AM   #1435 (permalink)
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Public Service Announcement for the guys here:

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Old 03-15-2018, 06:34 AM   #1436 (permalink)
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In Queso Emergency 
Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.

She was from Quality Street ; he was a Fisherman's Friend On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter and she had a Wine Gum.

He asked her name, 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said. 'I'm the one with the nuts,' he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and TicTacs.

Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge.

It was a magic moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight. When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink Wafers lookedvery appetizing.

He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, 3 days later his Magnum lolly started to drip. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had Allsorts.
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Old 03-15-2018, 03:03 PM   #1437 (permalink)
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Old 03-15-2018, 10:20 PM   #1438 (permalink)
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He'll figure it out. Eventually.
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Old 03-16-2018, 12:06 PM   #1439 (permalink)
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He'll figure it out. Eventually.
Obviously he should be loading from the other side of the car shesh.
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Old 03-16-2018, 09:00 PM   #1440 (permalink)
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That sounds right.
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Old 03-17-2018, 02:21 PM   #1441 (permalink)
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Finnegan, drunk as usual, walks into the church confessional booth. The priest waits and waits for Finnegan to say something. Finally, the priest pounds on the wall of the confessional booth.

"Ain't no use in knocking," Finnegan yells back. "There's no paper on this side either!"

Happy St. Paddy's Day!
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Old 03-18-2018, 07:19 PM   #1442 (permalink)
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That sounds right.
Who the heck names their periods?
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Old 03-18-2018, 09:15 PM   #1443 (permalink)
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Who the heck names their periods?
Meteorologists from the Weather Channel?
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Old 03-21-2018, 05:31 AM   #1444 (permalink)
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I love this so hard!!




https://www.boredpanda.com/passive-a...=3&_f=featured
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Anouk: "Proudly shackling the genie-arses of abnormal men!"
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Old 03-21-2018, 08:18 PM   #1445 (permalink)
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This is literally the best 'days since' sign I've ever seen.
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Old 03-22-2018, 08:48 PM   #1446 (permalink)
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Waka waka!
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Old 03-25-2018, 03:04 AM   #1447 (permalink)
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Old 03-26-2018, 09:23 PM   #1448 (permalink)
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Old 03-27-2018, 10:07 PM   #1449 (permalink)
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Old 03-27-2018, 10:10 PM   #1450 (permalink)
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Once again, SLU hung when I hit Post Reply, and it double-posted on me. So here's a rat taking a shower:

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