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Trout Recreant · 01-09-2009, 05:57 PM

Sigh...

OK, I'll do it myself.

I present to you, an idea so crazy it just might work. The LOBSTERPULT! A modified catapult. The payload delivery basket is a large pot of boiling water held over a fire until the triger is pulled, which flings the lobster through a mist of melted butter from the butter cannon and over the walls of the enemy fortress. The enemies gorge themselves on rich food, and fall into the throes of gout, making them easy to overrun, thus allowing yourself to save the princess with the long hair, Rapunzel.

Cindy Claveau · 01-09-2009, 06:03 PM

By george, I think that just might work!

Of course, when I think of nutty ideas for weapons, this always crops up:

Jahar Aabye · 01-09-2009, 08:44 PM

Trout, if you build it, I'll script it.....

But it'll have to wait until after my three-day hospital stay next week.

Trout Recreant · 01-09-2009, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jahar Aabye

Trout, if you build it, I'll script it.....

But it'll have to wait until after my three-day hospital stay next week.

lol - I wouldn't even know where to start.

Actually, I probably could now that I think about it.

I hope your hospital stay goes well. Good luck!

Charlemagne Allen · 01-10-2009, 02:42 PM

Rods from God:

Yes, iet's put up satellites that fire tungsten rods at the earth at 36,000 mph!

Quote:

This technology is very far out—in miles and years. A pair of satellites orbiting several hundred miles above the Earth would serve as a weapons system. One functions as the targeting and communications platform while the other carries numerous tungsten rods—up to 20 feet in length and a foot in diameter—that it can drop on targets with less than 15 minutes’ notice. When instructed from the ground, the targeting satellite commands its partner to drop one of its darts. The guided rods enter the atmosphere, protected by a thermal coating, traveling at 36,000 feet per second—comparable to the speed of a meteor. The result: complete devastation of the target, even if it’s buried deep underground. (The two-platform configuration permits the weapon to be “reloaded” by just launching a new set of rods, rather than replacing the entire system.)

The concept of kinetic-energy weapons has been around ever since the RAND Corporation proposed placing rods on the tips of ICBMs in the 1950s; the satellite twist was popularized by sci-fi writer Jerry Pournelle. Though the Pentagon won’t say how far along the research is, or even confirm that any efforts are underway, the concept persists. The “U.S. Air Force Transformation Flight Plan,” published by the Air Force in November 2003, references “hypervelocity rod bundles” in its outline of future space-based weapons, and in 2002, another report from RAND, “Space Weapons, Earth Wars,” dedicated entire sections to the technology’s usefulness.

If so-called “Rods from God”—an informal nickname of untraceable origin—ever do materialize, it won’t be for at least 15 years. Launching heavy tungsten rods into space will require substantially cheaper rocket technology than we have today. But there are numerous other obstacles to making such a system work. Pike, of GlobalSecurity.org, argues that the rods’ speed would be so high that they would vaporize on impact, before the rods could penetrate the surface. Furthermore, the “absentee ratio”—the fact that orbiting satellites circle the Earth every 100 minutes and so at any given time might be far from the desired target—would be prohibitive. A better solution, Pike argues, is to pursue the original concept: Place the rods atop intercontinental ballistic missiles, which would slow down enough during the downward part of their trajectory to avoid vaporizing on impact. ICBMs would also be less expensive and, since they’re stationed on Earth, would take less time to reach their targets. “The space-basing people seem to understand the downside of space weapons,” Pike says—among them, high costs and the difficulty of maintaining weapon platforms in orbit. “But I’ll still bet you there’s a lot of classified work on this going on right now.”

Rods from God | Popular Science

Charlemagne Allen · 01-10-2009, 02:45 PM

Quote:

The Airborne Laser
The Airborne Laser is being developed as an integral part of the
Ballistic Missile Defense System designed to protect the United
States, its allies, and its deployed troops from a ballistic missile
attack. Using two solid state lasers and a megawatt-class Chemical
Oxygen Iodine Laser (COIL) housed aboard a modified Boeing 747-
400 Freighter, the Airborne Laser’s mission is to detect, track,
target, and destroy ballistic missiles shortly after launch during the
boost-phase. Its revolutionary use of directed energy makes it
unique among the United States’ airborne weapon systems, with a
potential to attack multiple targets at the speed of light with a range
of hundreds of kilometers.

Boeing: Integrated Defense Systems - Missile Defense Systems - Airborne Laser (ABL) Home

Coyote Teardrop · 01-11-2009, 01:17 PM

Charlemagne Allen · 01-20-2009, 06:21 PM

Isn't that a bit much? Just a tad bit?

io Kukulcan · 01-20-2009, 06:31 PM

Hey, Charlemagne, could you explain the Frankish throwing-axe?

I mean, hell yeah, the axe is a great weapon, though pretty hard to make back then.
But why would you want to throw it away, in battle, only to be picked up and probably used by your enemy against you?

Thank you

Lucifer Baphomet · 01-20-2009, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by io Kukulcan

Hey, Charlemagne, could you explain the Frankish throwing-axe?

I mean, hell yeah, the axe is a great weapon, though pretty hard to make back then.
But why would you want to throw it away, in battle, only to be picked up and probably used by your enemy against you?

Thank you

The Roman historian Procopius (c. 500 - 565) described the Franks and their use of throwing axes:

"...each man carried a sword and shield and an axe. Now the iron head of this weapon was thick and exceedingly sharp on both sides while the wooden handle was very short. And they are accustomed always to throw these axes at one signal in the first charge and thus shatter the shields of the enemy and kill the men."

Procopius makes it clear that the Franks threw their axes immediately before hand to hand combat with the purpose of breaking shields and disrupting the enemy line while possibly wounding or killing an enemy warrior. The weight of the head and length of the haft would allow the axe to be thrown with considerable momentum to an effective range of about 12 m (40 ft). Even if the edge of the blade were not to strike the target the weight of the iron head could cause injury. The Franks were not the first to utilize the Francisca. The Gauls had first come up with the idea but had made them with longer handles, making them heavier but harder to throw. The Francisca was also used as an intimidator in that upon throwing of the Francisca, the enemy might turn and run in the fear that another volley was coming.

Another feature of the francisca was the tendency to bounce unpredictably upon hitting the ground due to its weight, unique shape, lack of balance and slight curvature of the haft, making it difficult for defenders to block. It could rebound up at the legs of opponents or against shields and through the ranks. The Franks capitalized on this by throwing the franciscas in a volley in order to confuse, intimidate and disorganize the enemy lines either before or during a charge to initiate close combat.

Today, the francisca remains in popular use as a throwing axe in competitions or as a weapon for reenactors of medieval warfare

Charlemagne Allen · 01-20-2009, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucifer Baphomet

The Roman historian Procopius (c. 500 - 565) described the Franks and their use of throwing axes:

"...each man carried a sword and shield and an axe. Now the iron head of this weapon was thick and exceedingly sharp on both sides while the wooden handle was very short. And they are accustomed always to throw these axes at one signal in the first charge and thus shatter the shields of the enemy and kill the men."

Procopius makes it clear that the Franks threw their axes immediately before hand to hand combat with the purpose of breaking shields and disrupting the enemy line while possibly wounding or killing an enemy warrior. The weight of the head and length of the haft would allow the axe to be thrown with considerable momentum to an effective range of about 12 m (40 ft). Even if the edge of the blade were not to strike the target the weight of the iron head could cause injury. The Franks were not the first to utilize the Francisca. The Gauls had first come up with the idea but had made them with longer handles, making them heavier but harder to throw. The Francisca was also used as an intimidator in that upon throwing of the Francisca, the enemy might turn and run in the fear that another volley was coming.

Another feature of the francisca was the tendency to bounce unpredictably upon hitting the ground due to its weight, unique shape, lack of balance and slight curvature of the haft, making it difficult for defenders to block. It could rebound up at the legs of opponents or against shields and through the ranks. The Franks capitalized on this by throwing the franciscas in a volley in order to confuse, intimidate and disorganize the enemy lines either before or during a charge to initiate close combat.

Today, the francisca remains in popular use as a throwing axe in competitions or as a weapon for reenactors of medieval warfare

Thanks. That is really quite clever. I must congratulate myself.

io Kukulcan · 01-20-2009, 06:42 PM

Cool, that makes sense then.
A combined volley of dozens of axes hurtling at you would make me RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!

How come this weapon ain't in Medieval 2?
lol

Lucifer Baphomet · 01-20-2009, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by io Kukulcan

Cool, that makes sense then.
A combined volley of dozens of axes hurtling at you would make me RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!

How come this weapon ain't in Medieval 2?
lol

They seem to have fallen into disfavour by the ninth century, Mr K

io Kukulcan · 01-20-2009, 06:46 PM

So they went out fashion around the time Charlemagne checked out.
hmmm...

Charlemagne Allen · 01-20-2009, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucifer Baphomet

They seem to have fallen into disfavour by the ninth century, Mr K

They were replaced by a newer technology.....

And that's why the Battle of Agincourt turned out the way it did.... the French Bear Calvary was torn to pieces by English chainsaws.

Isn't history fun?

Charlemagne Allen · 01-20-2009, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by io Kukulcan

So they went out fashion around the time Charlemagne checked out.
hmmm...

What are you implying?

io Kukulcan · 01-20-2009, 06:52 PM

I'm implying that you, in fact, died on January 28th, 814!

Colette Meiji · 01-20-2009, 06:54 PM

Charlemagne Allen · 01-20-2009, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by io Kukulcan

I'm implying that you, in fact, died on January 28th, 814!

That's not a very nice thing to say.

Y do you h8?

Colette Meiji · 01-20-2009, 06:55 PM

io Kukulcan · 01-20-2009, 06:56 PM

Sorry, didn't mean to make you cry.
I was just trying to bring light to your timelessness and immortality.

Charlemagne Allen · 01-20-2009, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colette Meiji

Me posting an image of that gun actually started this crazy thread in the "Too old?" thread.

But, yeah, Dora is yummy.

Charlemagne Allen · 01-20-2009, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by io Kukulcan

Sorry, didn't mean to make you cry.
I was just trying to bring light to your timelessness and immortality.

It's okay.. .just don't tell them that eating curried chicken in large quantities will give you immortality....

Richie Waves · 01-20-2009, 08:56 PM

~Hot McDonald's coffee gun! that shits lethal!... I'm told.

Trout Recreant · 01-21-2009, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Richie Waves

~Hot McDonald's coffee gun! that shits lethal!... I'm told.

I was going to say that you could hurl it at your enemies like a molotov Cocktail, but then I remembered that the lids are so loose that it's just as likely to explode in your hand and melt your arm clean off. So that's not a great idea after all. McDonald's coffee is just too unstable. You're better off just dousing the bad guys in nitroglycerin and pushing them down a flight of stairs.

01-20-2009, 08:56 PM	#99 (permalink)
Richie Waves Joie de vivre! Is Three apples Tall Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Between Iraq and Israel Posts: 9,352 SL Join Date: 27/06/2005	~Hot McDonald's coffee gun! that shits lethal!... I'm told. __________________ My lastfm Oooh, Betty! the cat did a shit in the hat

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01-09-2009, 06:03 PM	#77 (permalink)
Cindy Claveau Intellectual floozy "-ish" Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 13,569 My Mood: SL Join Date: May, 2005 Awards: 2	By george, I think that just might work! Of course, when I think of nutty ideas for weapons, this always crops up:

01-09-2009, 08:44 PM	#78 (permalink)
Jahar Aabye Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 2,340	Trout, if you build it, I'll script it..... But it'll have to wait until after my three-day hospital stay next week.

01-11-2009, 01:17 PM	#82 (permalink)
Coyote Teardrop Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Solace Lake Posts: 101 My Mood:

01-20-2009, 06:21 PM	#83 (permalink)
Charlemagne Allen Countess of Darkmere Heaven, to keep its beauty, cast them out, but even Hell itself would not receive them for fear the wicked there might glory over them. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,398 My Mood: SL Join Date: February 2007 Blog Entries: 1	Isn't that a bit much? Just a tad bit?

01-20-2009, 06:31 PM	#84 (permalink)
io Kukulcan Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: the wasatch front Posts: 2,157 My Mood: SL Join Date: 04/2006	Hey, Charlemagne, could you explain the Frankish throwing-axe? I mean, hell yeah, the axe is a great weapon, though pretty hard to make back then. But why would you want to throw it away, in battle, only to be picked up and probably used by your enemy against you? Thank you

01-20-2009, 06:42 PM	#87 (permalink)
io Kukulcan Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: the wasatch front Posts: 2,157 My Mood: SL Join Date: 04/2006	Cool, that makes sense then. A combined volley of dozens of axes hurtling at you would make me RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!! How come this weapon ain't in Medieval 2? lol

01-20-2009, 06:46 PM	#89 (permalink)
io Kukulcan Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: the wasatch front Posts: 2,157 My Mood: SL Join Date: 04/2006	So they went out fashion around the time Charlemagne checked out. hmmm...

01-20-2009, 06:52 PM	#92 (permalink)
io Kukulcan Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: the wasatch front Posts: 2,157 My Mood: SL Join Date: 04/2006	I'm implying that you, in fact, died on January 28th, 814!

01-20-2009, 06:54 PM	#93 (permalink)
Colette Meiji Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 8,193 My Mood:

01-20-2009, 06:55 PM	#95 (permalink)
Colette Meiji Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 8,193 My Mood:

01-20-2009, 06:56 PM	#96 (permalink)
io Kukulcan Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: the wasatch front Posts: 2,157 My Mood: SL Join Date: 04/2006	Sorry, didn't mean to make you cry. I was just trying to bring light to your timelessness and immortality.

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