SLUniverse Forums

Fmeh · 10-01-2008, 09:54 PM

My panic is destroying my life. It is destroying everything I’ve found important.

I’m now at the point I was 8 years ago where I was almost checked into a mental institution.

Since last Thursday, I’ve had SEVERE panic attacks at least twice a day. When I say severe, I’m referencing the type where I can’t talk—all that comes out are “uh” and “ah”, and my whole body violently shakes uncontrollably while tears are running down my face. I can’t even ask for help or anything because I can’t speak.

Now it is ruining my chances in the band. They need me to give them $100 a month for band dues. My making the webpage isn’t good enough, my making all their graphics isn’t good enough—it’s not even worth $20 to them, yet they’d be willing to pay someone else $2,000 to do their website. No amount of trading of any skills or doing any work personally for any of them is good enough—they want the $100 a month.

Right now I can’t get work at all because of my condition. The first time I’d have one of those panic attacks at a job, I’d get fired. I can’t be taking 8 mental breaks a day at a job—there’s NO employer that would put up with that.

I’ve been trying to lose weight, but my panic has rendered me unable to eat most of the day, every day, and I’m starting to get really weak. Most of my panic is over how the FUCK I’m supposed to get them $100 a month! How the hell am I supposed to do that right now?!

Later today, I’m probably going to have to tell the band that I’m not in a good enough mental condition to be in a band. I can’t live like this—I can’t live in total panic every day—if I keep the same eating habits I have over this past week, I’ll be dead within just a few months.

I’m tired of worrying about “are my vocals harsh enough” because I always get hounded on how tame I sing. I’m tired of worrying about whether I’m over-the-top enough in my stage presence. I’m tired of being the one who has to tell people “no, that part doesn’t work—you can’t mix two scales together and expect it to sound good” and then get told how “I” am the one who is trying to put the band into a little box, even though I’m the one trying really hard to get them out of the typical rock sound. Without me, they sound like a typical rock band—“I” am the main one that have changed their sound to something people haven’t heard hundreds of times before—I sure as hell am NOT the one trying to put them into a box, I’m trying to take them OUT of the box. I’ve worked my ass off in this band on so many levels, I’ve worked harder on this than I have anything in my entire life, and here I am ready to throw it away because it has become mentally unmanageable for me.

I can work my ass of in the band, or I can work a job, but I can’t do both, I mentally cannot take it, and that seems to be what they’re requiring no matter how many services I can offer them—shit, I’ll chop wood for them and mow all their lawns and come over and do their dishes every weekday if it would mean that I don’t have to work a standard job that I’ll get fired from for having panic attacks!

I’m pretty sure they’re going to fire me when I tell them I can’t make the payments. I told one member this already, and told him about how I’m at the point I was 8 years ago when I almost went into a mental institution.

One thing is for sure: I am NOT giving up on music. I have a set I can put together pretty quickly of my solo material, played on keys (Wurlitzer electric piano, electronic keyboard, or real piano) that I know will go over pretty well, particularly at acoustic clubs, and I’m still getting my guitar work down so I can do some stuff on acoustic guitar as well.

I’m really trying to look at this positively. I can’t live with this type of severe completely debilitating panic anymore, so I need to distance myself from the things that are causing it: The band. Besides, it hasn’t been fun for over 3 months—everyone’s always at each other’s throats. I’m tired of the negativity and stress.

Lucifer Baphomet · 10-01-2008, 09:57 PM

i know it'll sound dumb.
Breathe into a paper bag
the build up of CO2 will make the attach subside.

Winter Ventura · 10-01-2008, 10:02 PM

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Fmeh · 10-01-2008, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucifer Baphomet

i know it'll sound dumb.
Breathe into a paper bag
the build up of CO2 will make the attach subside.

Thanks, that DOES work, I've tried it before, but one can only do that for so long before not getting enough air.

The past few days I've had to take lorazepam 0.5mg, and that has helped a bit, but just a bit. It keeps me from shaking uncontrollably.

Spaceman Opus · 10-01-2008, 10:07 PM

If you have other avenues to get your music out, I'd say definitely consider leaving the band. From your posts here lately the band has been a major source of stress in your life, and an increasingly minor source of happiness.

If you're panicking multiple times a day over the band, eliminating that source of stress will help your attacks immensely.

Good luck

Redhead · 10-01-2008, 10:07 PM

Hang in there man, and never forget that we all love you!

Siobhan OFlynn · 10-01-2008, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fmeh

Thanks, that DOES work, I've tried it before, but one can only do that for so long before not getting enough air.

The past few days I've had to take lorazepam 0.5mg, and that has helped a bit, but just a bit. It keeps me from shaking uncontrollably.

Dude, don't fall into the lorazepam trap. It works in the short haul, but long term it's extremely addicting and when you go off of it, your anxiety will be 10 times worse.

If at all possible, go to a physician and ask for a prescription for Vistaril. It's not addictive and it works as well as lorazepam. Also, you need some blood work and other diagnostic workups to see if there is a physical reason for your panic attacks.

If there's no physical reason, you need some cognitive behavioral therapy to deal with your anxiety disorder. We developed the fight or flight response as cavemen in order to escape dangerous situations. It enables you to run faster, be stronger, etc. But when your mind is causing the fight or flight response unnecessarily, your only option is to sit there and panic. It helps to know that you will not die from a panic attack and no matter what you do, your anxiety will rise to a specific level and then drop off. If you can keep telling yourself that "this will pass, this will pass, I won't die" over and over, while focusing on something relaxing in your mind and controlling your breathing, it will pass and you will teach your body to how to deal with panic.

I used to have panic attacks. Now when I feel one coming on, I just get up, get a drink of water, close my eyes and focus on calming down. It works quite well for me now. In the past, I would end up in the ER with pretty bad symptoms. I haven't had to deal with that for years now.

Arilynn · 10-01-2008, 10:34 PM

I'm sorry, Fmeh. That sounds so awful.

Are you able to exercise during the day? I don't get panic attacks, but I had a period in which I was pretty panicked and frightened about what was happening in my life. Running daily helped calm and focus me, and it is physically exhausting, which can be a relief. I'm not advocating running - just any form of physical exercise that can give your brain a rest, engage your body, and possibly burn off some anxiety.

I hope you find something that helps soon.

Fmeh · 10-01-2008, 10:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Siobhan OFlynn

Dude, don't fall into the lorazepam trap. It works in the short haul, but long term it's extremely addicting and when you go off of it, your anxiety will be 10 times worse.

Duly noted. Thanks.

Quote:

If at all possible, go to a physician and ask for a prescription for Vistaril. It's not addictive and it works as well as lorazepam. Also, you need some blood work and other diagnostic workups to see if there is a physical reason for your panic attacks.

I will look into that later this week.

Quote:

If there's no physical reason, you need some cognitive behavioral therapy to deal with your anxiety disorder. We developed the fight or flight response as cavemen in order to escape dangerous situations. It enables you to run faster, be stronger, etc. But when your mind is causing the fight or flight response unnecessarily, your only option is to sit there and panic. It helps to know that you will not die from a panic attack and no matter what you do, your anxiety will rise to a specific level and then drop off. If you can keep telling yourself that "this will pass, this will pass, I won't die" over and over, while focusing on something relaxing in your mind and controlling your breathing, it will pass and you will teach your body to how to deal with panic.

I used to have panic attacks. Now when I feel one coming on, I just get up, get a drink of water, close my eyes and focus on calming down. It works quite well for me now. In the past, I would end up in the ER with pretty bad symptoms. I haven't had to deal with that for years now.

I'm trying to avoid the ER at all costs.

Fmeh · 10-01-2008, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arilynn

I'm sorry, Fmeh. That sounds so awful.

Are you able to exercise during the day? I don't get panic attacks, but I had a period in my life in which I was pretty panicked and frightened about what was happening in my life. Running daily helped calm and focus me, and it is physically exhausting, which can be a relief. I'm not advocating running - just any form of physical exercise that can give your brain a rest, engage your body, and possibly burn off some anxiety.

I hope you find something that helps soon.

I've been walking the dog several times a day, I've been doing 50 situps and 30 pushups a day, I've been trying to vigorously get back in shape. It definitely helps

Bams · 10-01-2008, 10:40 PM

I have little experience with this but I wanted to offer my sympathies and hopes that you will get through it. Sounds like the band might be a bit much and taking off from it would allow you to relax and focus on the things you enjoy, which is the music. You don't need a band to enjoy your music.

Richie Waves · 10-01-2008, 10:40 PM

As a long time sufferer of Panic disorder you'd think I'd have good advise.. I don't really.. avoid meds I guess.. do as Luc says and use a paper bag if your breathing gets too fast to avoid hyperventilating.

hmm, I also like to scribble stuff on paper or play flash games when I feel an attack coming on, sometimes distracting yourself can help, but not always.

avoid caffeine, alcohol and psychoactive substances, get good sleep and keep your diet good!

if you do get an attack keep reminding yourself what is it.. a panic attack, letting your mind run ahead of you thinking its other more dangerous things will only exasperate it.

Sansarya · 10-01-2008, 10:50 PM

For that $100 a month you might consider doing some live sets solo in SL. I know musicians who make that in one night. Talk to Cylindrian Rutabaga, she's helped a number of live musicians get going in SL. Might help with the panic attacks too, to get some stage presence going, etc.

Fmeh · 10-01-2008, 11:28 PM

I just got done talking with some of the members and pretty much told them what was up.

They reacted calmly, I think they knew this was coming after my almost-grand-mal-looking panic attack that they had to hold me down for to keep me from shaking that I had last Thursday.

The music really isn't for me, the homophobia I hear and see at EVERY club we play at isn't for me, the "I need to act like a badass or get ranked on" crap isn't for me, the putting people down as humor isn't for me, the complete lack of theory isn't for me, the "we need to sound louder and more harsh, damnit" isn't for me, I'm just sick of the whole scene, and I've experienced this with EVERY rock band I've ever been in, and I'm just sick of it. This is not to say it's ALWAYS that way, it's just what I've experienced in the puget sound area (Seattle/Tacoma/Olympia).

I just want to make good music--and there's two types that I try to make (from my perspective, which is the only perspective I can HONESTLY speak from), music that "I" really like and music that I think everyone else will really like--occasionally they're one in the same.

I have music that I can really get off my lazy ass and start practicing keys on a regular basis so I can be prepared to do some shows.

As far as acoustic acts, I rarely see keyboard/piano performers. I used to think that would make it harder for me. Now I think I may have been wrong about that. There's a much better chance that it may make it EASIER for me to get noticed.

Practice practice practice, scales scales scales is in my future, and this is a good thing

Thanks everyone for your support.

Aodhan McDunnough · 10-01-2008, 11:37 PM

Hope you get through this.

I have no idea what panic attacks are like, know no one around me who has them. Hope the advice given by the others works well.

Ray Figtree · 10-01-2008, 11:43 PM

I know of one person who was suffering like this. He checked himself into UCLA. He was there for a month, but once he was on the proper meds, he got out and is now doing 100% better and shooting music videos for a living. Best of luck to you.

Fade Languish · 10-01-2008, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fmeh

I just got done talking with some of the members and pretty much told them what was up.

They reacted calmly, I think they knew this was coming after my almost-grand-mal-looking panic attack that they had to hold me down for to keep me from shaking that I had last Thursday.

The music really isn't for me, the homophobia I hear and see at EVERY club we play at isn't for me, the "I need to act like a badass or get ranked on" crap isn't for me, the putting people down as humor isn't for me, the complete lack of theory isn't for me, the "we need to sound louder and more harsh, damnit" isn't for me, I'm just sick of the whole scene, and I've experienced this with EVERY rock band I've ever been in, and I'm just sick of it. This is not to say it's ALWAYS that way, it's just what I've experienced in the puget sound area (Seattle/Tacoma/Olympia).

I just want to make good music--and there's two types that I try to make (from my perspective, which is the only perspective I can HONESTLY speak from), music that "I" really like and music that I think everyone else will really like--occasionally they're one in the same.

I have music that I can really get off my lazy ass and start practicing keys on a regular basis so I can be prepared to do some shows.

As far as acoustic acts, I rarely see keyboard/piano performers. I used to think that would make it harder for me. Now I think I may have been wrong about that. There's a much better chance that it may make it EASIER for me to get noticed.

Practice practice practice, scales scales scales is in my future, and this is a good thing

Thanks everyone for your support.

Are you really into the live thing or do you just want to make music? Especially if the live thing is stressing you out, and if the bands around aren't really what you want to be doing, why not grab a copy of Ableton live or something and just make your own for a while, see where it goes? You don't have to play live to be successful in the music industry, if that's what you want.

Then you can make the music you want to make. And make it when you feel ok, rather than it being a stress trigger.

eta: I can relate cos I used to get tied up in knots about DJing, and performing in front of people, and I also used to be miserable when the club wasn't right or I couldn't do what I wanted music wise.

Fmeh · 10-02-2008, 12:54 AM

I've never known a different way to get noticed in the music industry other than playing live. I also really enjoy being up on the stage and performing, but of course not nearly as much as writing new material.

As far as songwriting, I've been making my own music since I was 6. As far as something I've produced well enough to be truly considered professional-sounding, it has been since 2000.

My music was actually doing well for a while--I was receiving checks from mp3.com until they got bought by Universal.

I have no idea how to market myself if I'm not playing out live.

Here's a small clip of a song from The Mercury Rising, my favorite one of the bunch (small clip because of the label)
http://kizzume.com/files/not-like-tv-clip.mp3

Here are examples of some of my sequenced stuff:

http://kizzume.com/walk-of-fate-192.mp3

http://kizzume.com/numb.mp3

http://infraxes.com/someday.mp3

http://infraxes.com/come-on.mp3

http://infraxes.com/tripped-out.mp3

Fade Languish · 10-02-2008, 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fmeh

I've never known a different way to get noticed in the music industry other than playing live. I also really enjoy being up on the stage and performing, but of course not nearly as much as writing new material.

The internet Fmeh, there's loads of ways. Check out this artist, she's become successful because she became well known by using things like myspace, before she ever had a contract. She got signed off the buzz. Other ways include getting your music to DJs and independent labels, I could name a squillion artists who never play live. I DJed for a long time, and more than 99% of the music I played was from independent labels, and whether they played live had nothing to do with how their tracks got into my hands, even before the internet.

I just found a young rapper in the UK who's totally unsigned, via him putting his demo tracks on last fm as free mp3s, and they were in my recommends and I loved them. Now I'm going to chase him up for an interview because of it.

There's a lot more distribution outlets than just via the majors too.

Is that you singing? Listening to your music now, sounds great so far.

10-01-2008, 09:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
Fmeh The Fourth Dimension That pulsating glowing thing. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Tacoma, WA USA Posts: 2,338	Panic is destroying my life My panic is destroying my life. It is destroying everything I’ve found important. I’m now at the point I was 8 years ago where I was almost checked into a mental institution. Since last Thursday, I’ve had SEVERE panic attacks at least twice a day. When I say severe, I’m referencing the type where I can’t talk—all that comes out are “uh” and “ah”, and my whole body violently shakes uncontrollably while tears are running down my face. I can’t even ask for help or anything because I can’t speak. Now it is ruining my chances in the band. They need me to give them $100 a month for band dues. My making the webpage isn’t good enough, my making all their graphics isn’t good enough—it’s not even worth $20 to them, yet they’d be willing to pay someone else $2,000 to do their website. No amount of trading of any skills or doing any work personally for any of them is good enough—they want the $100 a month. Right now I can’t get work at all because of my condition. The first time I’d have one of those panic attacks at a job, I’d get fired. I can’t be taking 8 mental breaks a day at a job—there’s NO employer that would put up with that. I’ve been trying to lose weight, but my panic has rendered me unable to eat most of the day, every day, and I’m starting to get really weak. Most of my panic is over how the FUCK I’m supposed to get them $100 a month! How the hell am I supposed to do that right now?! Later today, I’m probably going to have to tell the band that I’m not in a good enough mental condition to be in a band. I can’t live like this—I can’t live in total panic every day—if I keep the same eating habits I have over this past week, I’ll be dead within just a few months. I’m tired of worrying about “are my vocals harsh enough” because I always get hounded on how tame I sing. I’m tired of worrying about whether I’m over-the-top enough in my stage presence. I’m tired of being the one who has to tell people “no, that part doesn’t work—you can’t mix two scales together and expect it to sound good” and then get told how “I” am the one who is trying to put the band into a little box, even though I’m the one trying really hard to get them out of the typical rock sound. Without me, they sound like a typical rock band—“I” am the main one that have changed their sound to something people haven’t heard hundreds of times before—I sure as hell am NOT the one trying to put them into a box, I’m trying to take them OUT of the box. I’ve worked my ass off in this band on so many levels, I’ve worked harder on this than I have anything in my entire life, and here I am ready to throw it away because it has become mentally unmanageable for me. I can work my ass of in the band, or I can work a job, but I can’t do both, I mentally cannot take it, and that seems to be what they’re requiring no matter how many services I can offer them—shit, I’ll chop wood for them and mow all their lawns and come over and do their dishes every weekday if it would mean that I don’t have to work a standard job that I’ll get fired from for having panic attacks! I’m pretty sure they’re going to fire me when I tell them I can’t make the payments. I told one member this already, and told him about how I’m at the point I was 8 years ago when I almost went into a mental institution. One thing is for sure: I am NOT giving up on music. I have a set I can put together pretty quickly of my solo material, played on keys (Wurlitzer electric piano, electronic keyboard, or real piano) that I know will go over pretty well, particularly at acoustic clubs, and I’m still getting my guitar work down so I can do some stuff on acoustic guitar as well. I’m really trying to look at this positively. I can’t live with this type of severe completely debilitating panic anymore, so I need to distance myself from the things that are causing it: The band. Besides, it hasn’t been fun for over 3 months—everyone’s always at each other’s throats. I’m tired of the negativity and stress. __________________ The Fourth Dimension club and hangout http://slurl.com/secondlife/Meribel/228/171/104/

10-01-2008, 09:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
Lucifer Baphomet Pampers Io Zenophile Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Darkmere Posts: 6,374 Business: Radio Free Darkmere	i know it'll sound dumb. Breathe into a paper bag the build up of CO2 will make the attach subside. __________________

10-01-2008, 10:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
Winter Ventura Eclectic Randomness Shinier than you. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 808 SL Join Date: 7/13/2006 Business: Eclectic Randomness SLShopper Ads: 5 My Mood:	Sorry, couldn't resist. __________________ There's a little bit of paradise.. the way hot pepperoni, mushrooms, pineapple and melted cheese all come together in a single moment in time.

10-01-2008, 10:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
Spaceman Opus heheheh...member Been ordered to keep this av Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Fuzzburg, MA Posts: 525 SL Join Date: 5/13/2006 My Mood:	If you have other avenues to get your music out, I'd say definitely consider leaving the band. From your posts here lately the band has been a major source of stress in your life, and an increasingly minor source of happiness. If you're panicking multiple times a day over the band, eliminating that source of stress will help your attacks immensely. Good luck __________________ Spacey's lil Blog

10-01-2008, 10:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
Redhead La Vie Boheme Goddamn left wing liberal! Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Salem Oregon Posts: 3,178 SL Join Date: January 2005 My Mood:	Hang in there man, and never forget that we all love you! __________________ . The Swans by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool. They lay, they rotted, they turned around occasionally. Bits of flesh dropped off from them time to time. And sank into the pool's mire. They also smelt a great deal.

10-01-2008, 10:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
Arilynn is chasing her tail Mind limit Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 2,069 SL Join Date: Too lazy to look up - July, 2008? Business: Wandering about in a daze. Tabbing out. Blog Entries: 3 My Mood:	I'm sorry, Fmeh. That sounds so awful. Are you able to exercise during the day? I don't get panic attacks, but I had a period in which I was pretty panicked and frightened about what was happening in my life. Running daily helped calm and focus me, and it is physically exhausting, which can be a relief. I'm not advocating running - just any form of physical exercise that can give your brain a rest, engage your body, and possibly burn off some anxiety. I hope you find something that helps soon. Last edited by Arilynn; 10-01-2008 at 11:26 PM. Reason: Had to remove a redundant phrase so it would stop mocking me

10-01-2008, 10:40 PM	#11 (permalink)
Bams Bunnie's Baby small militant angry lesbian gerbil Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Oregon Posts: 2,259 Poker Drop Champion! Frogger Champion! Bubble Bobble Champion! Bomb Jack Champion! SL Join Date: 9/23/2007 Business: Bams & Bunns Blog Entries: 1 SLShopper Ads: 8 My Mood:	I have little experience with this but I wanted to offer my sympathies and hopes that you will get through it. Sounds like the band might be a bit much and taking off from it would allow you to relax and focus on the things you enjoy, which is the music. You don't need a band to enjoy your music. __________________ -- Enjoy your Second Life - Bams XX "The greatest shortcoming of the human race is our inability to understand the exponential function" - Dr. Albert Bartlett “We're all fucked. It helps to remember that.” - George Carlin "On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero." - The Narrator

10-01-2008, 10:40 PM	#12 (permalink)
Richie Waves Deus ibi est I haz Pacman! Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Dublin, Ireland Posts: 5,323 SL Join Date: 27/06/2005 My Mood:	As a long time sufferer of Panic disorder you'd think I'd have good advise.. I don't really.. avoid meds I guess.. do as Luc says and use a paper bag if your breathing gets too fast to avoid hyperventilating. hmm, I also like to scribble stuff on paper or play flash games when I feel an attack coming on, sometimes distracting yourself can help, but not always. avoid caffeine, alcohol and psychoactive substances, get good sleep and keep your diet good! if you do get an attack keep reminding yourself what is it.. a panic attack, letting your mind run ahead of you thinking its other more dangerous things will only exasperate it. __________________ My lastfm It's not trouble until its wreaked something

10-01-2008, 10:50 PM	#13 (permalink)
Sansarya Koo Koo Kachoo! uhhhh...? Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Rosebud Posts: 264 SL Join Date: April 2005 My Mood:	For that $100 a month you might consider doing some live sets solo in SL. I know musicians who make that in one night. Talk to Cylindrian Rutabaga, she's helped a number of live musicians get going in SL. Might help with the panic attacks too, to get some stage presence going, etc.

10-01-2008, 11:28 PM	#14 (permalink)
Fmeh The Fourth Dimension That pulsating glowing thing. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Tacoma, WA USA Posts: 2,338	I just got done talking with some of the members and pretty much told them what was up. They reacted calmly, I think they knew this was coming after my almost-grand-mal-looking panic attack that they had to hold me down for to keep me from shaking that I had last Thursday. The music really isn't for me, the homophobia I hear and see at EVERY club we play at isn't for me, the "I need to act like a badass or get ranked on" crap isn't for me, the putting people down as humor isn't for me, the complete lack of theory isn't for me, the "we need to sound louder and more harsh, damnit" isn't for me, I'm just sick of the whole scene, and I've experienced this with EVERY rock band I've ever been in, and I'm just sick of it. This is not to say it's ALWAYS that way, it's just what I've experienced in the puget sound area (Seattle/Tacoma/Olympia). I just want to make good music--and there's two types that I try to make (from my perspective, which is the only perspective I can HONESTLY speak from), music that "I" really like and music that I think everyone else will really like--occasionally they're one in the same. I have music that I can really get off my lazy ass and start practicing keys on a regular basis so I can be prepared to do some shows. As far as acoustic acts, I rarely see keyboard/piano performers. I used to think that would make it harder for me. Now I think I may have been wrong about that. There's a much better chance that it may make it EASIER for me to get noticed. Practice practice practice, scales scales scales is in my future, and this is a good thing Thanks everyone for your support.

10-01-2008, 11:37 PM	#15 (permalink)
Aodhan McDunnough exp(ln(Gearhead)) ti gnivol dna ykeeG Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Philippines Posts: 3,636 Beer Tapper Gone Wild Champion! SL Join Date: March 28, 2006 Business: Aodhan's Forge SLShopper Ads: 2 My Mood:	Hope you get through this. I have no idea what panic attacks are like, know no one around me who has them. Hope the advice given by the others works well. __________________ We can't get rid of Landbots but we can stop the damage. VOTE this proposal on the Jira. Current votes: 71 http://jira.secondlife.com/browse/VWR-2905 Kontours Classic 1-prim chair. Sculpted, menu controlled http://www.sluniverse.com/php/shop/s...ct=786&cat=500

10-01-2008, 11:43 PM	#16 (permalink)
Ray Figtree All good things One love. One heart. Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,197 SL Join Date: 5/13/2006 My Mood:	I know of one person who was suffering like this. He checked himself into UCLA. He was there for a month, but once he was on the proper meds, he got out and is now doing 100% better and shooting music videos for a living. Best of luck to you. __________________ Eckhart Tolle/Pema Chodron in '08! Pema's Platform Offline pursuing RL dreams.

10-02-2008, 12:54 AM	#18 (permalink)
Fmeh The Fourth Dimension That pulsating glowing thing. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Tacoma, WA USA Posts: 2,338	I've never known a different way to get noticed in the music industry other than playing live. I also really enjoy being up on the stage and performing, but of course not nearly as much as writing new material. As far as songwriting, I've been making my own music since I was 6. As far as something I've produced well enough to be truly considered professional-sounding, it has been since 2000. My music was actually doing well for a while--I was receiving checks from mp3.com until they got bought by Universal. I have no idea how to market myself if I'm not playing out live. Here's a small clip of a song from The Mercury Rising, my favorite one of the bunch (small clip because of the label) http://kizzume.com/files/not-like-tv-clip.mp3 Here are examples of some of my sequenced stuff: http://kizzume.com/walk-of-fate-192.mp3 http://kizzume.com/numb.mp3 http://infraxes.com/someday.mp3 http://infraxes.com/come-on.mp3 http://infraxes.com/tripped-out.mp3