SLUniverse Forums

Adam Zaius · 08-07-2008, 01:19 PM

Quoth Joshua in response to the above comment: "Listen. British guys are a lot bigger than me. I can go out right now and find one, and tell him not to use lube."

Khamon · 08-07-2008, 01:19 PM

When I'm being hateful and grudging, rest assured that it's my problem and not anything you've done. When people actually piss me off, hurt my feelings, step on my toes, I find it fairly easy to talk with them rationally about it and resolve the situation.

All that vitriolic dhrama and never speak to you again crap is just temper tantrum stuff. Feel free to throw it back in my face; it's probably what I need to hear at the time.

Jessyanne · 08-07-2008, 01:20 PM

Im holding a horrible grudge against that guy Josh for posting his 20kth post after midnight

Sooz Pascale · 08-07-2008, 01:21 PM

Revenge is dish best eaten cold.

Sooz

Cindy Claveau · 08-07-2008, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica Robertson

I believe people have base personalities.

I don't hold grudges, and generally, I don't believe there is anything to forgive even if someone wrongs me.

I figure, if they wrong me, that it is part of their base personality that they did. Either they know the difference between right and wrong and don't care or they do not place a high enough priority on their friendships to care.

So, instead of forgiving or holding grudges. I always forgive, and I don't hold grudges, but I choose not to be friends with those who I would have to forgive or hold grudges against.

Once I believe I have enough information to determine someone's base personality, I'm either friends with them, or I am not.

I'm kinda the same way, Jessica, but that's not exactly what I meant by a "grudge".

All of us pick our circle of friends based on very personal criteria - similar interests, background, beliefs, etc. And we exclude those with whom we don't agree or who have argued with us over something personal.

But I think that's different from the strict definition of grudge, which might include going out of your way to cause the person grief or pain, seeking out their posts on an internet board to trash them or argue with them instead of ignoring them. Maybe even stalking them in SL or RL, trying to mess up their day. That sort of active, aggressive behavior really does create what my New Agey friend calls "negative energy" that can eat at us.

I'm just afraid that if I allow myself to do that, someday I'll end up old and bitter. I think I'd be miserable that way.

Klannex Northmead · 08-07-2008, 01:35 PM

I don't waste my passion on grudges, it's a poor deal. If I was your foe and I could goad you into a lifelong grudge with some simple words I would be immensely happy. I have never fallen for that one and hopefully never will.

Rose Alba Karuna · 08-07-2008, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joshua Nightshade

Well it's not like I brood, something can make me massively angry in a moment and then I largely forget about it until it comes up later-- if it never gets resolved.

I do hold grudges incredibly long, it's the Scorpio. But when satisfied I drop them pretty quickly.

I'm a little like this, except it takes someone doing something really, really bad or threatening in RL to make me that angry. I've only blown three times in my life and it was like a volcano when I did.

So far, I've never gotten that angry at someone in virtual life and I've only been that angry at three people in my entire RL.

One of those people I forgave (but I still divoriced him), one I disowned completely (revenge enough) and the other I'm still, after 12 years, waiting for my moment to get revenge or to piss on her grave.

I tend to feel a little better about things after I've either gotten an apology or revenge, whichever comes first.

Oh, and I'm a Scorpio too.

Lucifer Baphomet · 08-07-2008, 01:48 PM

I preferred the original grudge.
The american remake with Sarah Michelle Geller was lame

lily joliat · 08-07-2008, 02:15 PM

I don't hold grudges, but I enjoy being spiteful. Its immediate satisfaction. If you take too long to get back at someone they may have forgotten what it was about. Like training a dog.

Io Zeno · 08-07-2008, 02:20 PM

I hate holding grudges and have tried to make peace with people who said literally, the worst shit about me on SC/SLU. Grudges and bad feelings over forum fights really bother me. Grudges in general are actually quite hard for me to maintain, online or in RL. If someone is hopeless, I tend to just ignore them.

Jessyanne · 08-07-2008, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Io Zeno

I hate holding grudges and have tried to make peace with people who said literally, the worst shit about me on SC/SLU. Grudges and bad feelings over forum fights really bother me. Grudges in general are actually quite hard for me to maintain, online or in RL. If someone is hopeless, I tend to just ignore them.

YOU TOTALLY suck IO! I've been holding a bewb grudge for a year cause yours are better than mine! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS

FlipperPA Peregrine · 08-07-2008, 02:23 PM

I don't form grudges well (that takes effort and memory, and I'm lazy and like people socially to eat, drink, and be merry) and do worse at keeping them. I think we're all pretty forgiving as a group though. A good example for me is Tenshi: she's one of my favorite posters now, and many know what foot she and I got off on.

There have been psychological studies on who you end up liking best in life. You end up liking, from most to least, in the following order:

(1) Someone who you initially disliked, but grew to like.
(2) Someone who you liked initially, and continued to like.
(3) Someone who you disliked initially, and continued to dislike.
(4) Someone who you liked initially, and grew to dislike.

I guess being pleasantly surprised by people who rub you the wrong way initially is always a good thing.

Regards,

-Flip

Cindy Claveau · 08-07-2008, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlipperPA Peregrine

I guess being pleasantly surprised by people who rub you the wrong way initially is always a good thing.

See, and here Beau thought I hated him!

Colette Meiji · 08-07-2008, 02:28 PM

I think I just finished reading the exchange that inspired this thread.

It does seem to be pretty rough.

FlipperPA Peregrine · 08-07-2008, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cindy Claveau

See, and here Beau thought I hated him!

You're both good eggs.

Walker Moore · 08-07-2008, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fade Languish

I suppose partly because it's easier to depersonalise someone.

But depersonalisation is good.

When they make it real life personal, it gets scary... and I often wonder whether such idiots think to themselves, "hang on, this is a bit weird," when they're scouring phone records so they can take a forum spat to a creepy phone call.

Winning teh internets is serious business to some, I suppose, and they just don't know where to draw the line.

(I'm not referring to anybody here in the text above btw.

)

I get a bit highly strung on forums sometimes, but I'm usually over any bad feeling within a few hours. If I've really offended somebody through my own stupidity, and caused a lingering bad atmosphere, I'll generally make my apologies and step away for a while.

Jessyanne · 08-07-2008, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlipperPA Peregrine

I don't form grudges well (that takes effort and memory, and I'm lazy and like people socially to eat, drink, and be merry) and do worse at keeping them. I think we're all pretty forgiving as a group though. A good example for me is Tenshi: she's one of my favorite posters now, and many know what foot she and I got off on.

There have been psychological studies on who you end up liking best in life. You end up liking, from most to least, in the following order:

(1) Someone who you initially disliked, but grew to like.
(2) Someone who you liked initially, and continued to like.
(3) Someone who you disliked initially, and continued to dislike.
(4) Someone who you liked initially, and grew to dislike.

I guess being pleasantly surprised by people who rub you the wrong way initially is always a good thing.

Regards,

-Flip

Scenario for ya.... we go out to eat.. I not only scarf down all your mozz sticks, but I eat all your mac and cheese as well... Tell me you wouldnt be chasing me around the room with a fork..

Decadent · 08-07-2008, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessyanne

Scenario for ya.... we go out to eat.. I not only scarf down all your mozz sticks, but I eat all your mac and cheese as well...

See, that's just uncalled for.

FlipperPA Peregrine · 08-07-2008, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessyanne

Scenario for ya.... we go out to eat.. I not only scarf down all your mozz sticks, but I eat all your mac and cheese as well... Tell me you wouldnt be chasing me around the room with a fork..

It would never happen! I would have ordered enough cheese for the both of us.

Jessyanne · 08-07-2008, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlipperPA Peregrine

It would never happen! I would have ordered enough cheese for the both of us.

aww see? This is why Flip is so loveable

Io Zeno · 08-07-2008, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose Alba Karuna

Oh, and I'm a Scorpio too.

So am I but I don't do the grudge/revenge bit well.

Too much Sag and Virgo. I have a horrible temper but I still want to be Friendly (sag) and Civil (virgo) at the end of the day, lol.

I tend to let most insults roll off my back for that reason, because I can say the most evil things to people when angry so I can't really judge that.

Except when I do. When it r

08-07-2008, 01:19 PM	#27 (permalink)
Khamon Rememberer Good Old Days in Kyrandia Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,380 SL Join Date: November, 2003 Business: Fate Gardens SLShopper Ads: 2 My Mood:	When I'm being hateful and grudging, rest assured that it's my problem and not anything you've done. When people actually piss me off, hurt my feelings, step on my toes, I find it fairly easy to talk with them rationally about it and resolve the situation. All that vitriolic dhrama and never speak to you again crap is just temper tantrum stuff. Feel free to throw it back in my face; it's probably what I need to hear at the time. __________________ "They're trying to make corporations believe that SL is not telecomutting's retarded, paraplegic stepchild, but is in fact an excellent way to do business online." - Penny Patton

08-07-2008, 01:20 PM	#28 (permalink)
Jessyanne Senior Member Likes the smell of green Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Pa Posts: 4,623 Business: Lakeside Homes	Im holding a horrible grudge against that guy Josh for posting his 20kth post after midnight __________________ Me Picasa Albums

08-07-2008, 01:21 PM	#29 (permalink)
Sooz Pascale On a Break Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,853	Revenge is dish best eaten cold. Sooz __________________ Let's all be kind to one another. 5.5 onthe highly scientific Troutonometer scale.

08-07-2008, 01:35 PM	#31 (permalink)
Klannex Northmead Yellow Belt Poet Freed thought, torn tongue Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 111 My Mood:	I don't waste my passion on grudges, it's a poor deal. If I was your foe and I could goad you into a lifelong grudge with some simple words I would be immensely happy. I have never fallen for that one and hopefully never will. __________________ P . N . P . A . B . T Pirate Neko Poets Against Bad Things

08-07-2008, 01:48 PM	#33 (permalink)
Lucifer Baphomet Pampers Io Zenophile Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Darkmere Posts: 4,484 Business: Radio Free Darkmere My Mood:	I preferred the original grudge. The american remake with Sarah Michelle Geller was lame __________________ Last edited by Lucifer Baphomet; 08-07-2008 at 02:22 PM. Reason: typo

08-07-2008, 02:15 PM	#34 (permalink)
lily joliat Like Totally we do wear flowers in our hair Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: San Francisco Posts: 371 SL Join Date: 7/22/06 Business: Lily World Blog Entries: 1 My Mood:	I don't hold grudges, but I enjoy being spiteful. Its immediate satisfaction. If you take too long to get back at someone they may have forgotten what it was about. Like training a dog.

08-07-2008, 02:20 PM	#35 (permalink)
Io Zeno MAD DOG Fucked Off Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: New York City Posts: 9,688 My Mood: Awards: 1	I hate holding grudges and have tried to make peace with people who said literally, the worst shit about me on SC/SLU. Grudges and bad feelings over forum fights really bother me. Grudges in general are actually quite hard for me to maintain, online or in RL. If someone is hopeless, I tend to just ignore them.

08-07-2008, 02:23 PM	#37 (permalink)
FlipperPA Peregrine Evil Incarnate! Recursion is beautiful! Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Philadelphia, PA Posts: 4,187 SL Join Date: 2003-11-14 Business: Peregrine Salon SLShopper Ads: 1 My Mood:	I don't form grudges well (that takes effort and memory, and I'm lazy and like people socially to eat, drink, and be merry) and do worse at keeping them. I think we're all pretty forgiving as a group though. A good example for me is Tenshi: she's one of my favorite posters now, and many know what foot she and I got off on. There have been psychological studies on who you end up liking best in life. You end up liking, from most to least, in the following order: (1) Someone who you initially disliked, but grew to like. (2) Someone who you liked initially, and continued to like. (3) Someone who you disliked initially, and continued to dislike. (4) Someone who you liked initially, and grew to dislike. I guess being pleasantly surprised by people who rub you the wrong way initially is always a good thing. Regards, -Flip __________________ Peregrine Salon: Flip & Jenn's thang.

08-07-2008, 02:28 PM	#39 (permalink)
Colette Meiji Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,389 My Mood:	I think I just finished reading the exchange that inspired this thread. It does seem to be pretty rough.