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Old 12-25-2017, 04:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Public Service Announcement

I am a sucker for new products. I'm especially susceptible to new flavors of old stand-by types of products. That's why when I was reaching for my usual Poland Spring water fix and saw this little gem staring directly at me, I was not long giving in to temptation.


I was completely convinced that this new version of liquid bliss would surpass even my lofty expectations of where cola could go. So I directed the cashier to leave it out of the bag so I could hand cradle this turd colored jewel directly to my truck where I would sample the pure nectar from the gods.

As I drove out of the parking lot I searched dozens of radio stations looking for the perfect song to experience this mouth watering moment with. I finally settled for the tragedy riddled band Great White performing their once iconic mega hit Once Bitten, Twice Shy.

I couldn't wait any longer. It was my turn to try the best soft drink taste ever bottled. I placed the bottle between my left thumb and index finger and while steering carefully with my writers palm I began twisting the cap with my right hand. After hearing the classic carbonated beverage sound, I began smelling something..... odd. Odd but slightly familiar. I'd guess it's what Pepsi intended caramel to smell like. Not exactly what I expected....

No big deal though. Christ, I didn't get this to be an air freshener. I wanted a new cola taste. So I took a gulp and held it in my mouth for a few seconds. Very similar cola feel. It started to bite on the back of my mouth the same as any Pepsi or Coke would. But then came the taste. It wasn't a cola taste, sure as hell wasn't a caramel taste either. The only way I can describe it is, it's three day old carbonated black coffee with a shitload of sugar in it.

My final score on a 1-10 sliding scale would be somewhere around a negative 26. Buy one for someone today that you don't like and take a photo or video of their facial expression. That's about the only way you'll get any enjoyment out of a bottle of this shit.....
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Old 12-25-2017, 06:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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They have a "salted caramel" slushie at the local Circle K. And it's a weird off-brand that manages to even fuck up grape.

I haven't tried it cause it sounds godawful.

I just hope "Salted Caramel" isn't going to be the next "Pumpkin Spice"
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Old 12-25-2017, 07:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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These bottles of Pepsi have been staring at me from the cooler at my local Shell station. I've been wanting to give it a try, and yet scared...so thank you for this timely warning, as I was coming very close to breaking!
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Old 12-25-2017, 07:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Dakota Tebaldi View Post
These bottles of Pepsi have been staring at me from the cooler at my local Shell station. I've been wanting to give it a try, and yet scared...so thank you for this timely warning, as I was coming very close to breaking!
DO IT!!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-25-2017, 09:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
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DO IT!!!!!!!!!
For science!
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Old 12-26-2017, 12:08 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Randy already did it for science.

It's a shame this flavor is so bad too; many years ago, like a couple years in a row Pepsi had this Holiday "spiced cola" flavor that was really great, and I keep thinking it would be nice for them to release that one again.
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Old 12-26-2017, 12:10 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dakota Tebaldi View Post
Randy already did it for science.

It's a shame this flavor is so bad too; many years ago, like a couple years in a row Pepsi had this Holiday "spiced cola" flavor that was really great, and I keep thinking it would be nice for them to release that one again.
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DO IT!!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-26-2017, 02:39 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Well at least you got a good story out of the experience, Randy. Thanks for the laugh.
I don't like anything fizzy, I don't like the taste of any cola, and I don't usually like imitation "salted caramel" and yet I might be tempted to taste this stuff - despite the warning - just out of curiosity.
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Old 12-27-2017, 09:05 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dakota Tebaldi View Post
Randy already did it for science.

It's a shame this flavor is so bad too; many years ago, like a couple years in a row Pepsi had this Holiday "spiced cola" flavor that was really great, and I keep thinking it would be nice for them to release that one again.
Randy's science is different from your science!

I don't like broccoli and some people love it. My son hates pizza...pizza for gods sake!!

Do it for the sake of science!!
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