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Old 12-26-2016, 01:51 PM   #1 (permalink)

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I lost track and then she died

I connected with a woman today on Facebook who I knew back in high school - not close, but we have a lot of mutual friends and she knows my family.

In the course of our FB conversation, she told me that one of my oldest and best friends from high school had died in Sturgis back in 2000 - 16 years ago and I had no idea.

The news threw a grey, heavy blanket over my heart today. I've gone this long without even thinking of her or trying to reconnect, and now it's too late. She's gone forever.

This kind of thing seems to happen to me now and then. I lost another friend a few years ago, who suffered from cancer for a while before passing. And I didn't find out for 3 or 4 years later.

It's easy to blame myself for not keeping up with people I care about, but I'm fighting that urge. Communication is a 2-way street, after all. I'm just saddened that things happen without sending out notices.
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Old 12-26-2016, 02:01 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I had a similar thing ages ago, Cindy. I lived in Aberdeen in late 84/early 85, made a lot of good friends there, but after I moved back to Paisley I lost touch gradually. In 92 I got in contact with a friend who took a lecturing post at RGIT, and in the process of catching up on the phone, discovered another friend had split with his fiance and taken his own life around 6 months before I called.
I know the rest of the old crowd were there for him, and he'd have got support from them, but I did beat myself up over not being there for him, I doubt I'd have made much of a difference, but it still hurt.
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Old 12-26-2016, 02:01 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I know the feeling Cindy. Earlier this year I decided to make contact with a woman that I was close to for twenty years. We'd met when we were both 14 & been good friends until well into adulthood. I couldn't find her on FB but I found one of her daughters so sent her a message asking about her mom. She told me she'd died in a car accident years ago & it hit me like a ton of bricks. We'd lost contact when we had a minor argument that got blown far out of proportion. There's no way to change the past but I sure wish I'd let go of that minor fight & stayed friends.
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Old 12-26-2016, 02:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I rarely feel guilty about not staying in touch with people. I have several out-of-touch friends that, though years may pass, we always seem able to pick up right where we left off.

But I take comfort knowing that while they may not be an active part of my life... they're out there making life wonder for others. Others who most likely need their uplifting influence far more than me.

Twice I've found out that long afterwards certain old friends just weren't there anymore. All the lost potential future happy path-crossings and catching-ups. All those who will miss them, and others who will never get the chance to know how wonderful they were. It's a dark vacuum of loss that sucks the light out of everything, and then just sits there never really going away.
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