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Old 06-07-2012, 11:46 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Desmond's Graveyard of Bad Design



From a series of recent mishaps, that caused irritation.



forcus loginus (force-us loh-GYN-us)

Okay, so, Time Warner went down for the entire north county.

Last time it was four hours before it came back on. And the time before. Can't work without internet... sigh... sitting here bored... let's play a game! Oh, look at this, even Single Player requires an internet login. WHY? Just because, that's why. Whatever 'advantage' marketing is promising for doing that, had better be worth millions. Because nobody's ever going to buy software from that company ever again.


oppressus vulgaris (oh-press-us vul-GAR-is)

So there you are, playing your favourite online thing with your friend Dick from Scunthorpe, UK, and he's trying to tell you he's signing off to barbeque chicken breasts and hot dog weiners for dinner.

Instead, all you get is an unintelligible stream of **** and ****, and ****. Meanwhile, shouting across the server, a bunch of middle schoolers are calling you a w a n k e r.

All of this delightfully made possible by the most ****ty chat filter ever to come out of a designer's ***. Yep, that really stopped the cussing, didn't it! ****tards.


obscuratus maximus (ob-scur-ATus MAX-im-us)

Okay, technical issues are killing you for the twentieth time and it's time to put a ticket in. The whole group online elects you to do it. Okay, fine.

Log in. Search for dropdown menus that might have *anything* to do with putting in a ticket. Methodically search entire menu structure, knowing this was done on purpose. Find the support section, search for other secret expanding menu items hidden within. Success! A dizzying array of Not The Choice You Want categories appear! Hmmm... you know what, they were right... this really was a billing issue all along!


payus eternus (PAY-us e-TER-nus)

It's been a year, and while doing the monthly bill you see that a game company has zapped you again. Wah? That was cancelled, no?

But... no! It wasn't! Can you cancel over the phone, or online or something? NO. You've got to download the entire platform, with updates, and manage to log in. Once you've done that, you must go on a Quest to release your group from the Withering Vampire Curse of Recurring Payments, first by doing battle with the Arcane Wizard of Obscure Group Logic, and winning decisively. Only then, can you proceed through the gates of Just Get Me Out of Here and make it into the promised land of Never Coming Back.

Ah, and what were you paying the megabucks for? Just to have the _option_ of actually using something, if you ever got around to it.





There's lots of bad design out there. Feel free to add on.
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Old 06-08-2012, 05:53 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Hmm, so this is Korea's most popular game right now? Well it is Free so lets give it a try.
Oh I can't make my own character, I have to use these per-selected ones, ok lets see what my choices are.
Ok I have sexy woman in High heels, sexy woman in high heels with skirt, sexy woman in high heels but showing quite a bit of side boob, sexy woman with armoured breastplate and nothing else, sexy yet very small woman. Ok any male choices....ohh a hulk in underpants or anorexic child.
I see, sexy woman it is, alright whats my first task? Kill an Oriental Dragon while running across steaming hot coals in winter.
In High heels and a miniskirt? Thats quite an achievement.
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Old 06-08-2012, 06:24 AM   #3 (permalink)
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it is time to hold shitty programmers financially accountable for their bullshit work. if all programmers were sued the shit out of there would only be the good ones left. And who would be paid well.
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Old 06-08-2012, 07:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hmm - the first one could be Diablo 3....the second has got to be DCUO [where saturday was bleeped, but actual nasty terms weren't.....]
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Old 06-08-2012, 12:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
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It reminds me of every other entity out there that chooses to obscure simple truth to their customers in order to gain usually financial advantage.
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Old 06-08-2012, 05:33 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann Otoole View Post
it is time to hold shitty programmers financially accountable for their bullshit work. if all programmers were sued the shit out of there would only be the good ones left. And who would be paid well.
These sorts of design decisions normally don't come from the programmers but from the designers (that seem to have no clue about what's a good idea) or the management who always seem to have reasons to justify their decisions but still leave everyone else going "wtf?"
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