Ysanne Korpov

After watching some threads in the last time I can not help but wonder. Do you really not care about the appearance of others in SL?

Al the threads are pouring with political correctness and "Live and let live"-happiness.

But to be honest I am not happy. I DO judge people by their look and their kind of writing in SL.


In RL you are sometimes a victim of your genes but in SL we can "Be all what you can't be".



And this is not only shape related, but includes the text as well.

The way you "speak" and the way you look IS the first impression you give to others. In RL and in SL as well.

Nobody needs to be "pretty" and nobody has to write literature.


But "I do not care about my look" and "omfg doll u wanna sex wth me" drive me off instantly.

And no, the foreign speaker excuse is no excuse. I make mistakes as well and I write shitty. My usual language is German.

But that dumb "leet kiddiespeak" is not funny and it is not a mistake usually. It is just lazyness. It can be fun in memes or funny pictures with cats, but it is not funny when I have to guess what you want to tell me between all the l33tspe4k while I just want to talk.


I have to admit I am shallow. I judge people by their look, how much they try to make a good impression or if they just give a fuck about how I see them.


No, I do not look for diamonds between coals. No more "But these people are pretty on their inside". I am tired of getting my hands dirty and making my eyes bleed over and over.

Sure, this is just my personal opinion and I do have a tendency to extremes at times. But am I the only one who... well how to say... cares about how something looks like?


Do people not realize that a chatline "lol u doll look sexie, wanna seks?" instead of "Hi, you look good" makes you look like an idiot? And do not tell me that the first is a foreign speaker. For these people the second version is far easier.

And that the infamous trex arms are as sexy as dirty underwear?


It's not about being pretty or going for the current fashion trend. It's not about someone getting a spellcheck wrong.

It's about making a good first impression.

Please... please care how you make your first impressions on others.



Sadly many people I meet in SL give me this impression:

"Oh my god... if you have THESE social skills in Real Life as well..."

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Ann Otoole

I don't give a damn what anyone looks like. If they want help they can ask.

I care about the personality of the typist behind the avatar.

NeoBokrug Elytis

You know, Wastelanders are probably looking for coal before they look for diamonds. We strive to be desolate, dilapidated, distressed, dirty and ugly.

Looks really aren't everything, all that matters is people try.

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Ysanne Korpov

And this is my problem, people do not try

Johnnie Carling

You sounding like a mean unpleasant person.

Darkley

and i judge people by the content of their writing, and im judging you, hard

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Joy Honey

I judge people who type the letter u instead of typing y and o in front of them as lazy. Especially when they are complaining about other people's writing.
The word is "you" not "u". You are not Prince and we are not texting.

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Nadia

Text speak annoys the fluck out of me. However, I can tolerate a "Hi, how are u" if it's an occasional thing. If I see the rest of the conversation you're using "you" and you slip with a "u", I ignore it. If it's all "U r so fine, do u want 2 b my gf?" I probably won't be attracted. I'll still talk if you're a friend, but I'll grimace through it.

As for the look, its funny, I was just thinking of this while making my pb&j sammich. My first ex had a noob skin. It wasn't starter screen noob, but I wonder if its this "Michael" yall talk about. I have no idea what Michael looks like. He was about 3 months older than me. Classic guy had about 3 favorite outfits. He had others, but most were used for events (formal, pimp, etc.)

He was so into my avi, it freaked me out. "You're so beautiful, I love your clothes, the nipples are so real, I love your skin." I used to try and get him to get a new skin. "Yanno, you love my avi so much, let's get you some updated skin for you so I can enjoy you as much." Nope, wasn't having it, he couldn't be bothered. Hey, whatever.

We were in some sex sim, and another guy IM'd me that I was too beautiful to be with that noob, and I ripped him a new one. It wasn't the avatar I gave a shit about. It was the person behind it.

Edit: Just a quick note, that after we broke up, the next girlfriend got him into a new skin, hair & clothes.

So many times when I get im'd from a stranger, I talk to the person based on how they communicate. Most I talk to, if they're not right in front of me, I have talked for 30 minutes or so without even looking at or for their avatar or profile.

So nope, I don't really care how an avatar looks, so long as they look mostly normal. The only avatar I've seen that I probably would NOT get involved with is there is one that his a human, but it shrinks down to 3 feet, looks like it weighs 30 pounds wet, and looks like a bobblehead on crack. That's probably some kind of SL fluke. But if that was their normal avi, that's the only one I'd have to make him change before getting involved. And, if we're not involved, I give even less of a shit what they look like.

Ysanne Korpov

I am from time to time. I admit that.

Especially when someone adress me with all Chatlines beginning with "LOL, U..."

People get usually a "Check your keyboard, your bottom left key should be shift, not LOL"

rude? maybe.

Dickie Swansong

There's lotsa people who care what they look like. I met a guy in some store somewhere who was trying to edit his AV. I was all "ya want some honest criticism?" n' he was all like "Lay it on me, don't hold back.". So I esplained how his head was too small and his arms too short... "if you can't reach to wipe or wank, ya arms ain't right!

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Faithless Babii

Looks arent the be all and end all for sure (well for me anyway) These days there shouldnt be a need to wear system shoes for example..as most of the new starter av's dont have them..its usually the older av who still does wear them...now that does bug me !

However, I do agree with you on how you communicate/type...I just cant tolerate text type typing..and I dont. A well written IM usually ensures a speedy and polite reply. All caps...text type...means I dont. (if its regarding business I often ask for the all caps to stop and explain why its considered impolite, and also mention I dont like text talk as I dont really *get it* mostly)
I havent been on the singles scene for over 5 years...but if I was looking...hmm..I might find it difficult to overlook a poorly dressed guy I suppose, initially. If I liked his persona a few well dropped hints about his looks would be given..and hopefully taken.
Looks wouldnt stop me from socialising initially...hell ...if great looks were required..back in 2007...my partner and I would never have got together..we both looked dreadfully noobish !

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Ysanne Korpov

Oh thank you, I have let this one slip through ;o) Thank you for your help.

Lil Hapmouche

Though I'm sure that dirty underwear is a pretty popular fetish in some circles, there are certain aspects that irk me to no end...

• People older than 6 months still sporting the same, plain newbie avatar with absolutely no personal touch to it. Counting in those clones who put on a ripped BIAB outfit with the infamous Michael/X2/Lisa/Michelle or similiar skin...
• Library eyes
• Any kind of attachment, either hair or clothing, floating about a mile away from the spot where they should fit

Besides that... pfft, why bother? It's easier to turn elsewhere and find something more worthwhile to look at.

Ysanne Korpov

Full Agree.
I was just wondering, guessing from the usual responses, if I am the only one who looks away.

Eris

I'm more concerned about how my avatar looks than anyone else's. I'm vain.

Text talk people, meh, as long as I can understand them. My closest friend in SL didn't have the finest written English. No problem.

The one faux pas that really grinds my gears is using speakers instead of headphones for voice chat.

Eunoli Rain

If someone is a great conversationalist/roleplayer/person to be around/whatever - I don't care if they look like Frankenstein meets Woody Allen. If I really like someone and they look like total crap..I might at some point ask them if they want help with a makeover - but I'm certainly not going to judge someone's worth based on their ability to mix and match pixels.

Also..I have saved many of my male friends from tiny-head syndrome.

Sredni Eel

Have you considered that they do try, and it just isn't up to your high standards for how people look and act?

Like a lot of folks, I cannot stand text speak. I also don't enjoy having a conversation with someone who speaks to me as if I can get their own inner monologue running in my head. I have a friend in sl who often does that and I call him on it all the time. His response is always some variation of "I'm thick, Sred". I just have to let it go.

As for appearance, I can't really be judge and jury on a person's overall look. I can and do sit at my keyboard and think, "My god, what an ugly avatar" but I'm not going to say these people aren't trying. Obviously they did try to make their avatar appealing. . .to them.

I know a guy who has a female avatar that is way off proportion, but he has told me a few times that the reason he made his avatar the way he did is because he loves anime and gaming, and his avatar is pretty. To him. To me it looks like an eight foot tall Amazonian Warrior maiden with cleavage you can ski down, and legs you can use to prop up the Parthenon.

It does nothing for me, but it's not my avatar.

I've been called "Short" and "Runt" because I have a shorter than average male avatar. It bothers me not in the slightest.

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Aribeth Zelin

I don't even use 'u' 'r' or the like when texting - the only shortcuts I use then is not using ' [so I'll becomes ill, you're, youre] because its such a pain to access it.

As for typing things out, I have to be patient when teaching or DJing, or doing CS for my shop, but otherwise, I tend to hang out with people who type out their words. And most people I've seen who are ESL have better language skills than I do, much less the lol ur sxy crowd. So there isn't an excuse.

Part of why I try so hard to make sure I type well is for people who are translating or don't speak english comfortably. Why make it harder for them?

I have to deal with people in the defaults a lot, as well as people who don't, won't or can't get fancier and more up to date looks. If they at least do a good job with what they do have, or are obviously brand new, but have good manners, that doesn't bother me so much, but I do prefer to be around people who do take some pains for their looks.

But personality and language matters more to me than looks.

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Lil Hapmouche

That may apply to a few, but have you also considered there are people who clearly and unmistakably state that they won't even bother to try?
Sadly, I've met a few of those.

Jager Xeltentat

I care more for making my own avatar decent enough for myself than I do with how others put together their avatars. I rarely cam people unless my friends point something out about an avatar or if I want to inspect what someone is wearing.

This isn't to say that I don't snicker or cringe to myself when I come across an avatar that looks highly unattractive to me. I just don't think others' avatars are important enough in my SL to get upset over.

As for the text speak, I rarely encounter it. I don't need proper spelling, punctuation or even grammar from people as long as it's clear enough. I read the meaning of a sentence more than how the sentence is structured. If the other person is unclear, then I simply ask for clarification. So far, doing this has worked for me and all the people I've communicated with.

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Carter-Madhu

I don't know about all this. Different people make different things out of their SL, and the best I can do is seek out like-minded folks whose worldviews are likely to mesh well with mine, and enjoy sharing my SL with them.

I freely admit that I am more likely to be initially intrigued by someone whose avatar is put together with some effort in an interesting or appealing way, than by someone in an unaltered default avatar or a bunch of crappy freebie clothes. But my friends aren't determined by initial intrigue alone, and some people whom I have gotten to know in SL despite have turned out to be fascinating, intelligent people, despite lacking that initial visually-based intrigue. Maybe they aren't as visually oriented as I am. Maybe they are more interested in scripting or building than in dressing up their virtual doll. So, that's not an interest we share, but there can be other interests we share.

Conversely, not everyone who puts time and effort into his or her avatar is going to turn out to be someone I have a lick of anything in common with.

Same goes for speaking style - though it's tougher to cut through, there, because I am unlikely to ever really get close to someone whose typing style is really difficult for me to read. But I don't mind the occasional "LOL" or text speak as long as it isn't overwhelming, and as long as the substance of what the person has to say is something I can connect with in one way or another.

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Nadia

I have someone on my list, born April 2010, and this is his avatar



When I first met him, he asked for help in fixing his shape, using shapes he had. Some woman berated him for still looking so noobish and being a year or so old. To me, one shape didn't look much different than the next. He asked about clothing, and I sent him freebie blogs, or tried to take him to Midnight Mania boards. He wasn't interested. He wears extremely basic clothing. In my opinion, he still has the noob look. But, he's a nice enough guy. Can have a conversation that doesn't revolve around text speak and/or sex.

I'm not interested in him in the least, but it's not because of how he looks or speaks. He just doesn't have that "ooomph" for me.

Darnk Yun

shallow people have shallow brains.

I can understand not wanting to talk to people who type like idiots, but when it comes to outward apperance, unless it's against the rules, who the fuck cares? I'll talk to a t-rex but trying arms over shallow yet well put together any day.

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Ahaha, such a simpleton. It'z so much fun playing jokez on you. I waz only here to see how she waz doing, but I had fun while I waz at it. So long, Sere, au revoir, mon ami! Pleaze dream of moi every night! Oui! ~ Harle

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Void

By the definition in the OP I'm as shallow as they come... I judge people on a host of minor, image and behavior based criteria....

... as it applies to the situation.


walk around luskwood in a barbie/ken doll "stylish" av with a superiority complex? Dumbass

insist on a furry av in a RL historical themed region? Dumbass

BDSM gear in PG? child av in a sex toy shop? Dumbass

whine about peoples height when you can't manage realist proportions yourself? Dumbass

go on about how cool your av is and how inferior others are while wearing crappy feebies? Dumbass

try to force nearly unreadable speech on others because you "are in character" even though these people aren't roleplaying with you? Dumbass

Think acting tough on the internet make you cool? Dumbass

starting to get a picture? =)

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