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**Psyke Phaeton** · 10-28-2008, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ann Launay

lol, I'm not sure how to take that.

Try bending a bit more.

Charlemagne Allen · 10-28-2008, 11:08 PM

Tell her something romantic, something magical, something splendid, something as dark and mysterious as a rose garden at night....

"you are my toilet...."

Aodhan McDunnough · 10-28-2008, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IsaDaft Trollop

a penis that matches the skin tone.

Um, real penises don't match skin tone. They're usually significantly darker because of the thinness of the dermis.

But that being said, don't get a black man's penis if you have a white av. Now that's too far.

Also do not get a furry's penis if you're a mechanical like a droid.

**Sarah Nerd** · 10-28-2008, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Macphisto Angelus

Go to Sarah Nerd's Freebie paradise. Grab the freebie johnson she has there, IM Sarah and tell her I said she would help you out.

She has trained thousands of newbies with her freebie johnson and wicked keyboard antics. An hour with her and you will be as experienced as any SL gigolo.

Go on.. IM her. She loves that.

*I am going to die for this*

/me starts making a "Want to earn FREE Lindens for sex?, Message Macphisto Angelus" sign to hang up in Freebie Paradise.
Paybacks a bitch!

Lecktor Hannibal · 10-29-2008, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah Nerd

/me starts making a "Want to earn FREE Lindens for sex?, Message Macphisto Angelus" sign to hang up in Freebie Paradise.
Paybacks a bitch!

Has he mentioned that he and I are going to be Openlife's first couple when partnering goes live in a week or so?

He's so shy, that silly man ....

BEARintheMorning · 10-29-2008, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Macphisto Angelus

Go to Sarah Nerd's Freebie paradise. Grab the freebie johnson she has there, IM Sarah and tell her I said she would help you out.

She has trained thousands of newbies with her freebie johnson and wicked keyboard antics. An hour with her and you will be as experienced as any SL gigolo.

Go on.. IM her. She loves that.

*I am going to die for this*

Ayu Sura · 10-29-2008, 12:24 AM

visit an animation store and try out all the sex pose balls - you'll see what's possible

Noisey Lane · 10-29-2008, 12:46 AM

And when you're done, maybe, just maybe, you might want to actually have a conversation with a lady that interests you which could lead to all sorts of erotic outcomes and fulfill your fantasies beyond you're wildest dreams. Oh wait... you're a guy right? Forget I said that. Just go nuts at Neva.

**Psyke Phaeton** · 10-29-2008, 12:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noisey Lane

And when you're done, maybe, just maybe, you might want to actually have a conversation with a lady that interests you which could lead to all sorts of erotic outcomes and fulfill your fantasies beyond you're wildest dreams. Oh wait... you're a guy right? Forget I said that. Just go nuts at Neva. http://www.sluniverse.com/php/vb/ima.../minillama.gif

I was trying to listen to you but I fell asleep.

Xiomara Mendes · 10-29-2008, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robert Jung

attn moderator: if this post belongs somewhere else please let me know where.

Well I joined SL to do things like attend public lectures at Harvard, but then I discovered there is sex in SL ;-)

As a newbie I'm afraid of making a fool of myself. I just know I'll click on the wrong part of the couch or the wrong color pose ball and end up doing something I don't want done to me <g> As it is now, I can barely even sit down on the wall on Help Island - I keep sitting backwards ;-) Sitting backwards could be quite dangerous during sex ...

I don't suppose there is a sex area somewhere in SL where it's safe for virgins to try stuff out - sort of a Sex Help Island where Sex Mentors would give advise <grin>.

And the other thing is penises. I picked up a free one but it's not that great. There are so many penises that do so many different things. How's a guy supposed to choose? . I'd also like to hear from the woman. What do the ladies prefer to see ;-) ?

thanks

Just don't do anything that will get you mentioned on this blog.

**Ann Launay** · 10-29-2008, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lecktor Hannibal

Has he mentioned that he and I are going to be Openlife's first couple when partnering goes live in a week or so?

/me goes into mourning

Macphisto Angelus · 10-29-2008, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ann Launay

/me goes into mourning

Come to OLG and save me, Ann.

**Ann Launay** · 10-29-2008, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Macphisto Angelus

Come to OLG and save me, Ann.

Hmph, I've seen your Flickr stream.

Macphisto Angelus · 10-29-2008, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ann Launay

Hmph, I've seen your Flickr stream.

Not yet you haven't.

Stormy Weeks · 10-29-2008, 01:38 AM

/me gives you a robe, and wizard hat.

You'll need these.

Vengence Opus · 10-29-2008, 01:43 AM

There's sex in SL?

Have I been playing the wrong game?

Trout Recreant · 10-29-2008, 01:59 AM

My suggestion:

Find someone you like. Then when she's distracted, sneak up behind her real quiet like, and when she least expects it,

BAM!!!

right in the ass.

She'll thank you for it later.

Or, better yet, find someone you like and have a real empathy with, and get to know each other, then explore that part of SL together, so you don't have to feel like you need to impress anyone. This is actually the best bet as far as I'm concerned. You'll feel better about it, you'll be enjoying some time with someone you like, and it will be a better experience all around.

There are ridiculous amounts of free sex places, and if you don't like the above suggestion, go there and take your best shot. Just whatever you do, and I'm dead serious here, PLEASE do not run around SL propositioning every woman you see. Pretend it's real life. Imagine what would happen if you ran around the shopping mall demanding sex from every soccer mom wandering around in there. If you're in a designated sex area, go for it. If you are anywhere else, don't run up and say anything weird like, "You nice boobies mami, teach me teh sexxies NAOW or I shot you with my gun!"

I truly hate those guys.

Xiomara Mendes · 10-29-2008, 02:03 AM

OK completely off topic but... I'm scared. Where's the third person????

Quote:

3 Users Laughed:

Freya, Xiomara Mendes

Lucifer Baphomet · 10-29-2008, 02:10 AM

SLU is haunted, didn't you know?

Back when it was still a PHPBB2 board, there was a crazy user obsessed with russia we don't talk about, and now, every year for the five days centred on halloween, her unholy spirit causes things to go awry.

And the scary thing about this story is, that although a ghost, she isn't dead....

as an avid blogger, she ended up experiencing a fate worse than death..

she became irrelevant

Aodhan McDunnough · 10-29-2008, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by robert Jung

And the other thing is penises. I picked up a free one but it's not that great. There are so many penises that do so many different things. How's a guy supposed to choose?

I just realized how bad this fragment sounds if you take it completely out of context.

Sooz Pascale · 10-29-2008, 03:26 AM

Robert, get a nice suit or even a tuxedo and go to one of the SL jazz night clubs like Frank's Smooth, Phats, etc. The male to female ratio is usually about 10 women for every five men. Look around until you find "the wall flower corner." You will usually see three to ten well dressed, attractive women, just standing around, waiting to be asked to dance.

The numbers are most definitely on your side.

Good luck!

Sooz

Johnnie Carling · 10-29-2008, 04:25 AM

Hi my names Johnnie... and i'm a slut

Quote:

Originally Posted by robert Jung

As a newbie I'm afraid of making a fool of myself. I just know I'll click on the wrong part of the couch or the wrong color pose ball and end up doing something I don't want done to me

I know it sounds scary to the guys... but you want the blue balls

Quote:

And the other thing is penises. I picked up a free one but it's not that great. There are so many penises that do so many different things. How's a guy supposed to choose? . I'd also like to hear from the woman. What do the ladies prefer to see ;-) ?

Personally i like the ones by Midnight Lotus... You can "camp" overnight for a free one on their main sim. (the best IMNSHO were the ones from White honey, but the damn vampire people bought them out and killed the line)

Some sex tips.

If your just looking for sex, go to a sex place, if you want a "girlfriend" try the clubs. (your mileage may vary)

Avoid the big sex places, my experiences at them have been 1. bad sex, 2. 30 people just standing around not doing anything. I have much more luck hanging around the smaller places and waiting around 20 min or so for someone to show up.

You don't have to use every one of the 100+ poses in a sexbed in one sitting.

There are 3 major types of sex in SL (and other cyber)

1. The role player. they spend a great deal of time setting the mood with words.... some would make great writers of erotic fiction.

2. the one hand typer. This person uses shorter emotes describing what they are doing/feeling... tends to have more typos. :-P

3. the grunter. they just do a lot of grunting (and are often the type to use every position on a sex bed)

Me i'm a 2, and like 2's better. Some person writing 2 paragraphs describing how they are cumming... ain't

If your interested in a person who is at a place called "girls covered in buckets of cum" you don't have to spend that long on smalltalk. :-P but if it's a normal club, or shopping or whatever... just do like you do in RL

Do not be hurt if someone you meet at a sex club declines friendship after a hookup. it gets annoying to sign online and then get hit by 10 wanna fuck IM's, and many times the girl is using an alt to do nasty things.

If someone takes you to their place... do not make a LM (unless you ask), do not log off there.

Practice practice practice... learn how your bits work, how to use a sexbed, etc...

Accept that at sometime or the other the hot girl is really a 40 guy living in his mothers basement, but do not assume that all are. Many women use SL to explore their "dirty" side without the RL issue of being known as a "slut".

that's all I can think of right now :-)

**Carthalis** · 10-29-2008, 04:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xiomara Mendes

Just don't do anything that will get you mentioned on this blog.

Bookmarked that blog that's hilarious thanks for the link

Quote:

[10:37] strangelover Oh: ur breast r attracting a log
[10:37] Amanda Amaterasu: What?
[10:38] strangelover Oh: i mean ur breasts r attracting me

Ned Easterwood · 10-29-2008, 06:42 AM

Being a nice guy will get you a long way. Taking some care with your appearance will help too.
If you are short on cash for whatever reason, try Sarah Nerd's Nifty Fifty for some nice skins. I am wearing one from there that is really nice. The BDSM Forum also has a freebie pack with a nice skin if you don't mind a lightning bolt tattoo on your belly.

**Beebo Brink** · 10-29-2008, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brenda Connolly

BTW, don't get too wrapped up in any performance anxieties regarding SL sex.... while some of the poses are good, they still all have a goofy quality to them.

And this is different from RL sex how?

10-28-2008, 11:08 PM	#27 (permalink)
Charlemagne Allen Countess of Darkmere Heaven, to keep its beauty, cast them out, but even Hell itself would not receive them for fear the wicked there might glory over them. Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,393 My Mood: SL Join Date: February 2007 Blog Entries: 1	Tell her something romantic, something magical, something splendid, something as dark and mysterious as a rose garden at night.... "you are my toilet...." __________________ Charlemagne Allen: YOU'RE A RACIST! Charlemagne Allen: I HAVE CHATLOGS! smokergirl Lowenhar: HOMOPHOBE smokergirl Lowenhar: CONTENT THIEF Charlemagne Allen: RELIGION SUCKS DONKEY BALLS! smokergirl Lowenhar: KISS MY ASS YOU CLOSE MINDED HYPOCRIT Charlemagne Allen: YOU WERE AN ESCORT FOR BARN ANIMALS! Charlemagne Allen: ZOMG BIG SIG! Pretty things: http://www.flickr.com/photos/charlemagneallen/

10-29-2008, 12:24 AM	#32 (permalink)
Ayu Sura nom nom nom zombified Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: under the sea Posts: 3,801 My Mood:	visit an animation store and try out all the sex pose balls - you'll see what's possible __________________ "You broke the rules! Now I pull out all your pubic hair!" - Tenacious D

10-29-2008, 12:46 AM	#33 (permalink)
Noisey Lane Do Not Feed Her Tabbiness Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 31 SL Join Date: 8 May 2007 Business: CyKIT - Cyber Kitty Culture	And when you're done, maybe, just maybe, you might want to actually have a conversation with a lady that interests you which could lead to all sorts of erotic outcomes and fulfill your fantasies beyond you're wildest dreams. Oh wait... you're a guy right? Forget I said that. Just go nuts at Neva. Last edited by Noisey Lane; 10-29-2008 at 01:00 AM.

10-29-2008, 01:43 AM	#41 (permalink)
Vengence Opus Prefers Lux or Palmolive Life Buoy, on the other hand... Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: along the long, rainy river Posts: 3,241 My Mood: Awards: 1	There's sex in SL? Have I been playing the wrong game? __________________ “If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose.” ~ Charles Bukowski

10-29-2008, 02:10 AM	#44 (permalink)
Lucifer Baphomet Pampers Io Zenophile Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Darkmere Posts: 12,320 My Mood: Business: Radio Free Darkmere Awards: 1	SLU is haunted, didn't you know? Back when it was still a PHPBB2 board, there was a crazy user obsessed with russia we don't talk about, and now, every year for the five days centred on halloween, her unholy spirit causes things to go awry. And the scary thing about this story is, that although a ghost, she isn't dead.... as an avid blogger, she ended up experiencing a fate worse than death.. she became irrelevant __________________

10-29-2008, 01:38 AM	#40 (permalink)
Stormy Weeks Senior Member Status Edited Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Durkdurkistan Posts: 318 My Mood:	/me gives you a robe, and wizard hat. You'll need these.

10-29-2008, 01:59 AM	#42 (permalink)
Trout Recreant Oncorhynchus mykiss Incomprehensible gibberish Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: West Coast, USA Posts: 5,998 My Mood: Blog Entries: 3 Awards: 1	My suggestion: Find someone you like. Then when she's distracted, sneak up behind her real quiet like, and when she least expects it, BAM!!! right in the ass. She'll thank you for it later. Or, better yet, find someone you like and have a real empathy with, and get to know each other, then explore that part of SL together, so you don't have to feel like you need to impress anyone. This is actually the best bet as far as I'm concerned. You'll feel better about it, you'll be enjoying some time with someone you like, and it will be a better experience all around. There are ridiculous amounts of free sex places, and if you don't like the above suggestion, go there and take your best shot. Just whatever you do, and I'm dead serious here, PLEASE do not run around SL propositioning every woman you see. Pretend it's real life. Imagine what would happen if you ran around the shopping mall demanding sex from every soccer mom wandering around in there. If you're in a designated sex area, go for it. If you are anywhere else, don't run up and say anything weird like, "You nice boobies mami, teach me teh sexxies NAOW or I shot you with my gun!" I truly hate those guys.

10-29-2008, 03:26 AM	#46 (permalink)
Sooz Pascale Long Distance Sailor Ribald Lewdness Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 3,751 My Mood: SL Join Date: January 27, 2007	Robert, get a nice suit or even a tuxedo and go to one of the SL jazz night clubs like Frank's Smooth, Phats, etc. The male to female ratio is usually about 10 women for every five men. Look around until you find "the wall flower corner." You will usually see three to ten well dressed, attractive women, just standing around, waiting to be asked to dance. The numbers are most definitely on your side. Good luck! Sooz __________________ Nothing sickens me more than the closed door of a library - Barbara Tuchman

10-29-2008, 06:42 AM	#49 (permalink)
Ned Easterwood Just trying to get by Milana's dom and Rhonda's babydoll Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Detroit, Mi. Posts: 16,810 My Mood: SL Join Date: 5/4/2007 Blog Entries: 15	Being a nice guy will get you a long way. Taking some care with your appearance will help too. If you are short on cash for whatever reason, try Sarah Nerd's Nifty Fifty for some nice skins. I am wearing one from there that is really nice. The BDSM Forum also has a freebie pack with a nice skin if you don't mind a lightning bolt tattoo on your belly. __________________ Ned

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