SLUniverse Forums

Ned Easterwood · 08-07-2008, 10:52 AM

Well - you do, don't you? It's just your sound, not the computer's.

Lexxi Gynoid · 08-07-2008, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bilbo99 emu

Stoppit!!! .....

... just ...

... stoppit!!

I'm going now .. and I shall probably get into trouble for this again tonight.

I will admit that you could actually see me at the PMG Cafe. You could at the hangout also but you had to be quick about it, as I rushed in and hid in the sofa. of course you could have cheated and cammed in to see me naked and bound, but that's cheating. heh. (that is what I did first at the Cafe, if anyone was wondering why I kept bumping into the furniture - was trying to find something to hide in).

Ned Easterwood · 08-07-2008, 10:54 AM

Why hide Lexxi? You are hot.

Arilynn · 08-07-2008, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beathag McMahon

Well - you do, don't you? It's just your sound, not the computer's.

Yes, that's true.

But isn't it a bit deceptive?

Lila · 08-07-2008, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arilynn

Thanks, Lila.

You don't think simply saying I have the sound turned off is basically deceptive for me? I don't want to deceive people.

Say: I never have the sound on.

Do you? You have no reason to have the sound on, so is it really deceptive?

You don't have to be overly honest. People don't have to know everything, at least not people you just casually chat with and have only just met.

Arilynn · 08-07-2008, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lila

Say: I never have the sound on.

Do you? You have no reason to have the sound on, so is it really deceptive?

You don't have to be overly honest. People don't have to know everything, at least not people you just casually chat with and have only just met.

I don't know, Lila. I guess that is my basic question - what is deceptive and what is overly honest? Saying that I don't have the sound on seems deceptive to me, but maybe you are right. I'm not sure.

Lila · 08-07-2008, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arilynn

I don't know, Lila. I guess that is my basic question - what is deceptive and what is overly honest? Saying that I don't have the sound on seems deceptive to me, but maybe you are right. I'm not sure.

It's difficult to say for you since I'm not in your situation, but I know with the 'skeleton in my closet' (I know it's probably not the same thing, since you probably aren't ashamed of being deaf), I can never tell anyone that I'm not absolutely sure they will still love me

when they've heard.

The silly thing is that 9 out of 10 that I've told just say to me: Why were you afraid to say that? But it's person number 10 I'm afraid of.

Brig McD · 08-07-2008, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arilynn

I don't know, Lila. I guess that is my basic question - what is deceptive and what is overly honest? Saying that I don't have the sound on seems deceptive to me, but maybe you are right. I'm not sure.

Saying you don't have sound on isn't dishonest Arilynn. If you don't feel comfortable with people asking you about your deafness, that is probably the most benign way to get around the subject. Until or unless you want to share that knowledge with someone, and you feel comfortable enough to deal with their questions, deflecting that way is perfectly reasonable.

Lexxi Gynoid · 08-07-2008, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beathag McMahon

Why hide Lexxi? You are hot.

Well . . . I'm naked . . bound . . and everything.

*blushes, and purrs*

Arilynn · 08-07-2008, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lila

It's difficult to say for you since I'm not in your situation, but I know with the 'skeleton in my closet' (I know it's probably not the same thing, since you probably aren't ashamed of being deaf), I can never tell anyone that I'm not absolutely sure they will still love me

when they've heard.

The silly thing is that 9 out of 10 that I've told just say to me: Why were you afraid to say that? But it's person number 10 I'm afraid of.

I'm sorry, Lila. It must be hard to have something that makes you afraid of this reaction.

IRL it is obvious if someone approaches me that I can't hear. Before, when I could follow conversations, I wore behind-the-ear hearing aids, which are easy to see with my hair back, and I didn't have a problem with asking people to repeat something or look directly at me when speaking. I guess that is easier than something no one can see and you feel you must hide.

You are right - I'm not ashamed of being deaf. It is more like Beebo said: It takes over the relationship and gets tiresome.

Lila · 08-07-2008, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arilynn

I'm sorry, Lila. It must be hard to have something that makes you afraid of this reaction.

Thanks

Arilynn · 08-07-2008, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brig McD

Saying you don't have sound on isn't dishonest Arilynn. If you don't feel comfortable with people asking you about your deafness, that is probably the most benign way to get around the subject. Until or unless you want to share that knowledge with someone, and you feel comfortable enough to deal with their questions, deflecting that way is perfectly reasonable.

Ok, Brig, if you, Charlemagne, Beathag, Lila, Bilbo, Daman, Madhu, Mereille (am I missing someone?

) all say this, then I will believe it is not dishonest. I will say that don't have the sound on, RP being cool, and try not to freak out about not giving someone full information or having them feel deceived.

Thank you all for the patience and advice, including a very kind PM reply. Perhaps with the combined wisdom of SLU I will stop being a freaked out idiot every 5 minutes in SL.

Sooz Pascale · 08-07-2008, 01:15 PM

Here's how I handle the "gender deception" thing. Most of my SL friends are from this board, so I ASSUME that everyone knows about it. There is nothing in my profile indicating I am transgendered and there is a RL pic of me, in a pink top and a white skirt. Its not a glam shot - I just appear to be a pretty average, middle aged woman.

However, if someone from outside this forum becomes close to being a friend, I tell them. I don't want guys or women to be interested in a friendship or a romantic relationship with me unless they know the truth. Women seem to handle this pretty well, men less so. Most men pretty much drop out of my life after I tell them.

Believe me, for all the mythology of transgendered HAWTNESS, its pretty much a romance killer in actuality.

At least I can relax when dancing or talking to someone without worrying about letting my "secret" out.

Sooz

Natalie P. · 08-07-2008, 02:14 PM

I have a feeling, Sooz, that the fact that most "transgendered" avatars in SL are basically just generically hot chicks with prim cocks rather than more accurately reflecting the realities of transgendered bodies plays a big part in that. And that's a shame.

Sooz Pascale · 08-07-2008, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Natalie P.

I have a feeling, Sooz, that the fact that most "transgendered" avatars in SL are basically just generically hot chicks with prim cocks rather than more accurately reflecting the realities of transgendered bodies plays a big part in that. And that's a shame.

Perhaps, and I must confess that I'm guilty of that myself. My SL AV, while not particularly attractive, at least "passes." In SL I'm 6' tall just as in RL, the difference is that 6' is tall for a RL woman and actually short for a SL woman. In SL my hands and feet are normal size and I have no Adams Apple, plus I have breasts, a narrow waistline and a larger borrom than I do in RL.

LOL then again it may be that I am just BORING and not much fun!! not all us "trannies" are entertaining.

Sooz

Brenda Connolly · 08-07-2008, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lexxi Gynoid

Well . . . I'm naked . . bound . . and everything.

*blushes, and purrs*

And how is this a bad thing?

Brenda Connolly · 08-07-2008, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arilynn

I don't know, Lila. I guess that is my basic question - what is deceptive and what is overly honest? Saying that I don't have the sound on seems deceptive to me, but maybe you are right. I'm not sure.

This debate always drives me crazy, when people feel pressured to justify to some idiot why they may choose not to use the Voice OPTION. You don't have to explain it to anyone beyond saying You choose to not use it. If they don't accept it, they can take a flying fuck.

Brenda Connolly · 08-07-2008, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sooz Pascale

Perhaps, and I must confess that I'm guilty of that myself. My SL AV, while not particularly attractive, at least "passes." In SL I'm 6' tall just as in RL, the difference is that 6' is tall for a RL woman and actually short for a SL woman. In SL my hands and feet are normal size and I have no Adams Apple, plus I have breasts, a narrow waistline and a larger borrom than I do in RL.

LOL then again it may be that I am just BORING and not much fun!! not all us "trannies" are entertaining.

Sooz

I don't think we've ever met inworld, but you've posted enough pictures. Stop telling everyone your avatar is unattractive, because it just isn't so.

Lexxi Gynoid · 08-07-2008, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brenda Connolly

And how is this a bad thing?

*meows and blushes* I just don't want people to get the wrong impression, that I am trying to expose myself to as many people as I can, or something.

dang, I have that download the SL to phone and I can't tear my eyes away, can't hit submit. looks . . . creepy, the way the bodies jerk around. and . . heh - the missing images on one of the girls, and none of their costumes are rezzing . . and this is the ad?

Arilynn · 08-07-2008, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brenda Connolly

This debate always drives me crazy, when people feel pressured to justify to some idiot why they may choose not to use the Voice OPTION. You don't have to explain it to anyone beyond saying You choose to not use it. If they don't accept it, they can take a flying fuck.

I like your style, Brenda, in this and many other posts. I think I need some of it.

Thanks.

Brenda Connolly · 08-07-2008, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arilynn

Thanks, Bilbo.

I need a better way to handle this because a lot of the first IMs people send me are about music or musicians. I am not comfortable deceiving people, so saying my audio isn't on is not right for me. Saying that I don't pay attention to the audio seems deceptive too. If someone asks whether I like a song or musician, I do say I don't know it. That's true, but it also feels deceptive, especially if the person then talks about how great it is, etc. I could say I don't listen to music IRL, but I know the next question people have is something like "Why? No music at all? You must like something" and we are at the same problem.

I have tried to be evasive, but the person thought I was being sly or sexually suggestive or something (we were not talking about music). I thought he knew I was deaf, and we just completely misunderstood each other through a long series of conversations. In the end, I realized he didn't know, told him - he felt bad and maybe deceived, I felt stupid.

Being deaf (or hard of hearing before) was not an issue in other games (yes, SL is not a game

) - people did not ask music as you were shooting them in BF2. I read all the time that SL is such a visual place, but IMO it is very audio-based, with live music, dance clubs, streaming audio things, etc. I need to find a way to handle this honestly when it comes up first with people so we can move on from this topic.

You have the easiest way to handle it by just telling the truth. Anyone who won't accept that explanation without further questioning is surely not worth wasting time on.

View Poll Results: Are you the same gender in SL as in RL?
Yes, I'm female in RL and using a female avatar.	72	54.96%
Yes, I'm male in RL and using a male avatar.	32	24.43%
No, I'm a male in RL, but using a female avatar.	8	6.11%
No, I'm a female in RL, but using a male avatar.	2	1.53%
I am using both female and male avatars just as much.	17	12.98%
Voters: 131. You may not vote on this poll

08-07-2008, 10:52 AM	#151 (permalink)
Ned Easterwood Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Detroit, Mi. Posts: 7,801 SL Join Date: 9/5/2008 My Mood:	Well - you do, don't you? It's just your sound, not the computer's. __________________ Ned Take 'er easy for all the sinners of the world, dude. Abide. And amen. http://www.dudeism.com/ My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Claymore of Loving Kindness Unitarian Jihad

08-07-2008, 01:15 PM	#163 (permalink)
Sooz Pascale Plague on Both Houses Transgendered Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,154 My Mood:	Here's how I handle the "gender deception" thing. Most of my SL friends are from this board, so I ASSUME that everyone knows about it. There is nothing in my profile indicating I am transgendered and there is a RL pic of me, in a pink top and a white skirt. Its not a glam shot - I just appear to be a pretty average, middle aged woman. However, if someone from outside this forum becomes close to being a friend, I tell them. I don't want guys or women to be interested in a friendship or a romantic relationship with me unless they know the truth. Women seem to handle this pretty well, men less so. Most men pretty much drop out of my life after I tell them. Believe me, for all the mythology of transgendered HAWTNESS, its pretty much a romance killer in actuality. At least I can relax when dancing or talking to someone without worrying about letting my "secret" out. Sooz __________________ Let's all be kind to one another. 5.5 onthe highly scientific Troutonometer scale.

08-07-2008, 02:14 PM	#164 (permalink)
Natalie P. lol wut Have a fhtagn day! Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 795 SL Join Date: 11/2006 My Mood:	I have a feeling, Sooz, that the fact that most "transgendered" avatars in SL are basically just generically hot chicks with prim cocks rather than more accurately reflecting the realities of transgendered bodies plays a big part in that. And that's a shame. __________________ "Here I am once more in this scene of dissipation and vice, and I begin already to find my morals corrupted." - Jane Austen Validate me, dammit!

08-07-2008, 10:54 AM	#153 (permalink)
Ned Easterwood Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Detroit, Mi. Posts: 7,801 SL Join Date: 9/5/2008 My Mood:	Why hide Lexxi? You are hot.