SLUniverse Forums

Lexxi Gynoid · 08-06-2008, 03:13 PM

Interesting how that never-ending thread on the official forums are now talking about gender. Well, more about what flirting might be and the like. Then gender came up.

Madhu Maruti · 08-06-2008, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lexxi Gynoid

Interesting how that never-ending thread on the official forums are now talking about gender. Well, more about what flirting might be and the like. Then gender came up.

Hm, not entirely a coincidence I think ... I have only posted to the never-ending thread once or twice, and would have let the comment in question go without saying anything - it's only that I'd just been reading this thread here that made me want to step up and question her assumption.

(The assumption was that being transgender in RL or having "nefarious purposes" would be the ONLY reasons one would play an opposite-sex avatar.) At any rate I think she took my question pretty well and there probably won't be a big discussion on the topic.

Lexxi Gynoid · 08-06-2008, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madhu Maruti

Hm, not entirely a coincidence I think ... I have only posted to the never-ending thread once or twice, and would have let the comment in question go without saying anything - it's only that I'd just been reading this thread here that made me want to step up and question her assumption.

(The assumption was that being transgender in RL or having "nefarious purposes" would be the ONLY reasons one would play an opposite-sex avatar.) At any rate I think she took my question pretty well and there probably won't be a big discussion on the topic.

*nods* Yes, they are back to flirting again. So quick they are.

Miriel Enfield · 08-06-2008, 03:58 PM

"I'm a female RL and using a female avatar" currently has over twice as many votes as any of the other options.

This is a very girly thread.

Raindrop Drinkwater · 08-06-2008, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cala

I'm not genderless, I'm just differently-gendered, in both SL and RL, so I can't answer your survey - I'm "none of the above".

/me looks at av pic.
/me reads quote.

I don't care what gender you are or aren't. You look schmexxy!

Brenda Connolly · 08-06-2008, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madhu Maruti

Hm, not entirely a coincidence I think ... I have only posted to the never-ending thread once or twice, and would have let the comment in question go without saying anything - it's only that I'd just been reading this thread here that made me want to step up and question her assumption.

(The assumption was that being transgender in RL or having "nefarious purposes" would be the ONLY reasons one would play an opposite-sex avatar.) At any rate I think she took my question pretty well and there probably won't be a big discussion on the topic.

I think you handled that very nicely, and it as recieved well too, I think. Which is how it should be.

One of my biggest complaints of Sl is the attitudes of so many residents, who seem to have to make a point to judge other peoples motivations for being there while asserting their way is the only valid way. It can be be from the "realists" to whom you should be in SL exactly what you are in RL, or from artists who feel that anyone who isn't creating something is not worthy, or from the business types who see SL as only a way to make a buck, or the techno elite who look down on others as bacwards or lazy, or from the judgemental types who feel that any activity or behavior that they don't partake in is wrong.

My favorites are those who do live on a fringe, yet still cast aspersions on the other fringes. One classic was a Vampire type who showed up on the LL board, slamming goreans and several other groups as wierd or immoral, yet claimed her behavior was a "Lifestyle", therefore acceptable.

bilbo99 emu · 08-07-2008, 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lila

The strange thing is that he got more friends, people liked his female av a lot more than the alt he created to be more similar to his RL self. That made him quite sad....
It's sad that people can be so cold. I mean he was still the same person as he was before they knew he was male in RL.

It can be difficult to come to terms with just why, who and what, when you pick to crossover in SL.

Bilbos early female wanderings were mainly "Wow! jus look at this thing!" Only once did the question of true gender come up and though we parted, it was still on polite terms. I learned then I had to be careful. Threads at 'the other place' came in helpful and supportive for when I created my females.

I hope your friend will find inner strength and their true self. True friends will stem from this. Anything outside of SL is dangerous till he finds those true friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miriel Enfield

"I'm a female RL and using a female avatar" currently has over twice as many votes as any of the other options.

This is a very girly thread.

Heck yes! even I'm outnumbered here ... Emma, Inigo & Lorna v. bilbo!!1

Hmmm ... Inigo ....... do robots have votes? ..... Winterr!!!!1

bilbo99 emu · 08-07-2008, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arilynn

Interesting post, Beebo. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

This is a little OT, but a little on topic. I have been wondering about what is "lying" or "deceiving" in SL and what about RL should be revealed.

In my profile anyone can see that I belong to 2 SL Deaf groups (totally dead from what I can see). But I have had people IM me about music or DJs at clubs, asking my opinion, what my favorite is, etc. I usually try to give an ambiguous answer and either end the conversation or change the subject. But I don't want to deceive anyone or pretend that I am something I am not. I also don't want to get into the giant "Really? You are deaf? Really?" conversation when someone is just trying to chitchat. But I don't have it as clearly thought out as you do, I think, Beebo, and am uncertain about when being vague becomes unfairly deceptive.

Hi Arilynn, I meant to quote you first but my memory slipped.

Lies and deception can and should be avoided. Anything built on those will be worthless in the long run anyway. A brick wall helps. My girls don't 'do' RL .. full stop. It says so clearly in their profiles and yet, time after time they would get asked RL matters. I can't think that "I don't do RL" wouldn't also work for music. Liking any genre or band isn't compulsory. If it kills the conversation dead then it probably wasn't a good conversation anyway. What my girls found was that most reactions to the above was "that's cool" and we'd change subject, sometimes to go onto really interesting debates. Evasion can be much more fun than deception

Derek Tafler · 08-07-2008, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brenda Connolly

... One of my biggest complaints of Sl is the attitudes of so many residents, who seem to have to make a point to judge other peoples motivations for being there while asserting their way is the only valid way. It can be be from the "realists" to whom you should be in SL exactly what you are in RL, or from artists who feel that anyone who isn't creating something is not worthy, or from the business types who see SL as only a way to make a buck, or the techno elite who look down on others as bacwards or lazy, or from the judgemental types who feel that any activity or behavior that they don't partake in is wrong.

My favorites are those who do live on a fringe, yet still cast aspersions on the other fringes. One classic was a Vampire type who showed up on the LL board, slamming goreans and several other groups as wierd or immoral, yet claimed her behavior was a "Lifestyle", therefore acceptable.

This is normal human behaviour though ? Certainly in my online experience of forums and chatrooms, I have been loved and hated, and castigated beyond belief, all from people who formulated their own opinions about me, and then seeded others. SL is no different in this respect I think, except I have yet to meet unpleasant residents yet. Perhaps I am just not looking hard enough.

I can't remember if I have already replied to the OP, so male/male here. I have no need or urge to present myself as a female avatar, and my inately honest nature would make a pretty poor gender change anyway.

Derek Tafler · 08-07-2008, 07:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bilbo99 emu

Lies and deception can and should be avoided. Anything built on those will be worthless in the long run anyway.

This is a fascinating side track to the main thread, assuming this is allowed in this forum

From my own experience, deception will always lead to ruin, and if someone is trying to develop a quality relationship, then simple honesty is the route, at least for me, and the same applies to my friends. Of course, avoidance of certain issues may be needed for reasons of sensitivity, but that is not creating a false image ...

Have I been deceived? Yes, of course, and more than once by my own gullibilty, in filling in gaps wrongly. A recent example was with a friend, from which it took a lot of effort to restore our warmth. Errors on both sides, nothing deliberate, but trust was severely marred at the time.

Aodhan McDunnough · 08-07-2008, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brenda Connolly

One of my biggest complaints of Sl is the attitudes of so many residents, who seem to have to make a point to judge other peoples motivations for being there while asserting their way is the only valid way.

Brenda, this description does not apply to SL. It applies EVERYWHERE, and I mean everywhere!

Brodie Landar · 08-07-2008, 08:05 AM

male in SL, male irl. I dont think i could run around with wabbajobbas having naked nubs with erections following me around asking for cyborz, more power to the female players!!!

Joshua Nightshade · 08-07-2008, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brodie Landar

wabbajobbas

bilbo99 emu · 08-07-2008, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Derek Tafler

This is a fascinating side track to the main thread, assuming this is allowed in this forum

From my own experience, deception will always lead to ruin, and if someone is trying to develop a quality relationship, then simple honesty is the route, at least for me, and the same applies to my friends. Of course, avoidance of certain issues may be needed for reasons of sensitivity, but that is not creating a false image ...

Have I been deceived? Yes, of course, and more than once by my own gullibilty, in filling in gaps wrongly. A recent example was with a friend, from which it took a lot of effort to restore our warmth. Errors on both sides, nothing deliberate, but trust was severely marred at the time.

Well, since the OP herself has veered into this not-entirely-off-topic I read that as OK

Have you been deceived .. or are you under a misapprehension? .. and does it matter? This is my point, in my own case. If my true gender is important to the other then they haven't grasped my point that my girls are fiction/fantasy/any name you like.

Don't get me wrong. If they are looking for a RL date, I can appreciate their concern ... but that's followed by a quick goodbye. It's their world, their imagination .. just not mine.
A huge part of SecondLife is about toleration ... and all of the above is rhetorical and historical .. they no longer go out on the pull. It was an important part of my coming to terms with me.

That's why I will respect Goreans, Furries, automatons, dragons, Nekos and the whole shebang.

Ned Easterwood · 08-07-2008, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brodie Landar

male in SL, male irl. I dont think i could run around with wabbajobbas having naked nubs with erections following me around asking for cyborz, more power to the female players!!!

It's easy Brodie. You just say to this yahoo, usually in open chat, "Drop dead, asshole." Works every time.

If not, there's always the Mute button.

edit addition: Lots of time insisting on conversing with them in open chat is adequate anyway. They don't like that.

Joshua Nightshade · 08-07-2008, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beathag McMahon

If not, there's always the Mute button.

YOU MUTE ME I COME BACK WITH A BILLION ALTER!

Derek Tafler · 08-07-2008, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bilbo99 emu

Well, since the OP herself has veered into this not-entirely-off-topic I read that as OK

Have you been deceived .. or are you under a misapprehension? .. and does it matter? This is my point, in my own case. If my true gender is important to the other then they haven't grasped my point that my girls are fiction/fantasy/any name you like.

Deceit and misapprehension go hand in hand I think. If I am told something that is blatantly not correct, then I will have a vision which is also not correct, and the situation can spiral away ... Most of the time this is not a problem, as most of what is encountered is seen as fantasy - the vampires/nekos/furries you mention assist in remembering that. However, I never forget the fact that real people exist behind the avatars and the online activities (assuming they are not bots), and once a 'connection' is established, then a degree of trust develops. Having written this, I can see - alarmingly - that is the point of risk ...

Ned Easterwood · 08-07-2008, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bilbo99 emu

Have you been deceived .. or are you under a misapprehension? .. and does it matter?

Absolutely. Note Beebo and Brenda's posts above.

Why does it matter unless you are interested in going into a RL romantic relationship?

View Poll Results: Are you the same gender in SL as in RL?
Yes, I'm female in RL and using a female avatar.	72	54.96%
Yes, I'm male in RL and using a male avatar.	32	24.43%
No, I'm a male in RL, but using a female avatar.	8	6.11%
No, I'm a female in RL, but using a male avatar.	2	1.53%
I am using both female and male avatars just as much.	17	12.98%
Voters: 131. You may not vote on this poll

08-06-2008, 03:13 PM	#101 (permalink)
Lexxi Gynoid purrs and rolls, happy Landshark Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 2,412 Arkanoid Champion! SL Join Date: March 2007 Blog Entries: 3 My Mood:	Interesting how that never-ending thread on the official forums are now talking about gender. Well, more about what flirting might be and the like. Then gender came up. __________________ “ . . . I am bumping you to the highest rating I have ever given - 9.9“ -- Trout

08-06-2008, 03:58 PM	#104 (permalink)
Miriel Enfield Mad Artist Even nerdier than usual. Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 991 Business: Miriel SLShopper Ads: 2 My Mood:	"I'm a female RL and using a female avatar" currently has over twice as many votes as any of the other options. This is a very girly thread. __________________ Miriel: Jewelry, eyes, shapes, and a couple of hairstyles. Oh, and a pretty forest. And a treasure hunt. 3.5 on the Internationally Recognized Trout Recreant Scale of Slutwatoosi. "Blender is the Pai Mae of 3d programs. It hates newbies, despises windows users, and has nothing but contempt for English speakers. It will let you learn, but mostly because doing so will give Blender a chance to amuse itself by making you suffer." - Twenty Sided

08-07-2008, 08:05 AM	#112 (permalink)
Brodie Landar Disleck-sick Innocence Incarnate, until sugar is introduced. Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Palm Bay, FL Posts: 487 SL Join Date: Yesterday! Business: Sellin smiles out mah jansport My Mood:	male in SL, male irl. I dont think i could run around with wabbajobbas having naked nubs with erections following me around asking for cyborz, more power to the female players!!! __________________ You recieve loot [Pamela Anderson's Panties]. [Maleavolent] says: omg finally they dropped, I won the roll bro! [Keefs] whispers: nice dude! gratz! Hepatitus C critically strikes you for 15,000 14,765 damage taken (335 resisted) You Die.

08-07-2008, 08:37 AM	#119 (permalink)
bilbo99 emu Senior Member Status quo Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Wilts UK Posts: 636