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Old 06-19-2017, 01:50 AM   #101 (permalink)
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If I'm online, sure. If I got it in email? Wut?
You mean as an offline IM ?
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:53 AM   #102 (permalink)
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Old 06-19-2017, 05:54 AM   #103 (permalink)
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You mean as an offline IM ?
Yes, why should I reply to an "offline IM" that just says "hi" in email?

Like I said, in the start when I was role-playing a businessman in SL I'd reply to these... with a request for more information... and all too often got back another "hi". I mean, really?

So, generally, I now treat IM like email. If there's no content in it, it's spam.
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Old 06-19-2017, 06:32 AM   #104 (permalink)
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Quote:
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This, and this following quote are a big rant of mine...


Second Life has made me dislike IMs starting with "hi" or "hello", which are of course always followed by "how are you?". I wish people could just pretend they already said that and get to the reason they IMed. It's not that I'm unfriendly, it due to the fact that over the course of 10 years I have learned that, more often than not, IMs that start in this manner aren't going to lead to a conversation I have any interest in. I don't like going through the usual canned conversation starters just to, once again, find out it's yet another guy wanting to put his virtual wiener into my avatar.

Then there's the people who IM me wanting help with something, completely missing the part in my profile where I state I'm probably AFK, so if I do reply, hours later, they still want to go through the canned filler just to get to the question they wanted to ask me that I could have answered as soon as I got back if they just left a message. It's even worse if they do it when I'm offline since I could have gotten back to them right away half the time on my phone or something. This is a super common issue for me.

On the other hand, people who have IMed me with something different have proven to be, on average, far more interesting conversation partners than the "hi", "how are you?" crowd.
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Originally Posted by Vaelissa Cortes View Post
Yeah, and somebody always does this too thinking it's original and witty.

"hi, how are you?" LOL I couldn't resist!!!111one". At least those people get to the point right after.

Wow - so much anger. Look, I do get that the random 'hi - how are you?' IMs can get boring and frustrating. Lord knows I've had my share. And yes, it's not the ideal start to a conversation. I would far rather someone took the time to either read my profile and open with something relevant, to show that they've taken the time ('hi there - so you're from the UK huh? how's it going over there?') or at least tag on something for me to work with ('Hiya - I love your avi - great jacket!').

But not everyone is a conversational genius. Some folks are shy. And I usually try to give them a bit of time to figure out whether they genuinely want to talk and have something to say, or if they're just time wasting cruisers. It only takes a few moments. I do get that not everyone has the time to spend to weed through these kind of IMs and if you're a content creator and get them a lot, then yes, it must be very frustrating. But not everyone gets inundated by them and so I guess we have a little more patience.
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Old 06-19-2017, 08:15 AM   #105 (permalink)
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hi... [response] How are you?...

Are so ubiquitous in all forms of online communication nowadays. It's not just sl; skype, messenger, text, whatsapp, tinder, grindr, scruff... any place now where you can have an instant message style conversation... ffs i've even had emails from colleagues with just hi in the subject line!!!

Getting angry about it really par for the course now. It has to stop... It's lazy, annoying, and doesn't progress anything.
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Old 06-19-2017, 08:22 AM   #106 (permalink)
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It's less "angry" than "eyeroll".
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Old 06-19-2017, 08:43 AM   #107 (permalink)
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Yes, why should I reply to an "offline IM" that just says "hi" in email?
Who said you were expected to reply ?
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Old 06-19-2017, 09:08 AM   #108 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Who said you were expected to reply ?
I guess you and I aren't popular enough to get that many unsolicited 'hi' messages to get pissed off about
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Old 06-19-2017, 09:58 AM   #109 (permalink)
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Again, "pissed off" is far too strong a term.
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Old 06-19-2017, 10:42 AM   #110 (permalink)
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Old 06-19-2017, 10:47 AM   #111 (permalink)
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Old 06-19-2017, 11:02 AM   #112 (permalink)
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Old 06-19-2017, 02:30 PM   #113 (permalink)
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Wow - so much anger.
If you're seeing anger then you've misinterpreted what was said.
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Old 06-19-2017, 03:57 PM   #114 (permalink)
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Yup I made sure it was a memorable one.
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Old 06-19-2017, 04:35 PM   #115 (permalink)
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I'm probably over-thinking it...

But for me "hi" basically means "I see that I have your attention, and it's mutual."
Failing to acknowledge or reciprocate a 'hi' in RL is pretty close to saying 'fuck you'.

"hi" doesn't mean "Hello? Are you there?", not to me, no matter whether people intend it that way online or not.

So when I get a blind "hi" in an IM, it feels kind of interruptive, pushy & presumptive. It feels like "Respond to me! If you don't, you're being rude. I can take offense at that if I like. I could stir up drama over it and it'll be all your fault!"
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Old 06-19-2017, 04:40 PM   #116 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jopsy Pendragon View Post
I'm probably over-thinking it...

But for me "hi" basically means "I see that I have your attention, and it's mutual."
Failing to acknowledge or reciprocate a 'hi' in RL is pretty close to saying 'fuck you'.

"hi" doesn't mean "Hello? Are you there?", not to me, no matter whether people intend it that way online or not.

So when I get a blind "hi" in an IM, it feels kind of interruptive, pushy & presumptive. It feels like "Respond to me! If you don't, you're being rude. I can take offense at that if I like. I could stir up drama over it and it'll be all your fault!"
So that's how I should've responded all those years. Man, if only I had known I would have saved myself a lot of trouble!

Them: hi
Me:
Them: how r u
Me: Fuck you! ;oD

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Old 06-19-2017, 05:37 PM   #117 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jopsy Pendragon View Post
I'm probably over-thinking it...

But for me "hi" basically means "I see that I have your attention, and it's mutual."
Failing to acknowledge or reciprocate a 'hi' in RL is pretty close to saying 'fuck you'.

"hi" doesn't mean "Hello? Are you there?", not to me, no matter whether people intend it that way online or not.

So when I get a blind "hi" in an IM, it feels kind of interruptive, pushy & presumptive. It feels like "Respond to me! If you don't, you're being rude. I can take offense at that if I like. I could stir up drama over it and it'll be all your fault!"
Have some more thinking. Difference between phone and in person, versus text is that text persists. In person it makes sense to inquire "hi, got a minute?" Telephone ring serves a similar purpose. With text, tho, you don't even know if they're at the keyboard so it makes sense to make your salutation as an ordinary social lubricant and then at least drop a subject line like it's an email. "Hi, when you got a minute, could you help me with X?" "Hey dude, I'm at D doing Y, shout if you wanna come." "Yo bruh, my dog died and I need a friend right now. Got some spare time?"
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Old 06-20-2017, 06:02 AM   #118 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaelissa Cortes View Post
If you're seeing anger then you've misinterpreted what was said.
I'm sorry if I misunderstood. I certainly do understand your frustration. I guess it's all relative. If you're in a position where the random 'hi' messages are a frequent occurrence, then I totally get that they must make you want to tear your hair out, especially if you're busy most of the time and just want them to get to the point so you can deal with the issue and move on.

I suppose I've not been in a position where this happens frequently enough to me for it to be any great annoyance.

I also agree with Jopsy that the blind 'hi' messages are awful. For the most part, these are just time-wasters rather than folks who are too shy to initiate more of a conversation. I certainly admit to being far less quick to reply to these kinds of messages as from experience, it's not going to lead anywhere and it's a lazy attempt to engage your attention - and more often than not, in a manner which will be so one-sided (on your part) that it'll be like pulling teeth to actually get anything out of them. It's putting the onus on you to then pick up the conversation and entertain them.
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Old 06-20-2017, 09:27 AM   #119 (permalink)
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In person IMs going 'hi' don't bother me, its when I'm not online and it is someone who needs help with something, but drags it out.

And its more the notification chimes stress me horribly.
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Old 06-20-2017, 12:50 PM   #120 (permalink)
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It would be sweet if sending a message to someone that's busy or offline popped up a message: "so-n-so is busy or not currently online, would you like this message to be forwarded to their email?"

That way they can say no, and revise their message to be more appropriate to the medium.

And if course, only ask once, until the next time the target goes busy/offline again. And only if they have offline IMs enabled.
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Old 06-20-2017, 08:37 PM   #121 (permalink)
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There are people who write in their profiles something to the effect of:

"If all you have to say is 'Hi' then I will not respond. If you want to start a conversation with me, please be creative."

It is my experience that these people tend to be dull and have nothing to say. As many times as I have spent time constructing some Shakespeare-worthy opening verse to such a person, I have never received a response of more than two words vaguely resembling a sentence.

So now if I am initiating a conversation, it is just going to be a one-sentence icebreaker starting with "Hi." If I get a polite response of at least one sentence, then I will start investing thought and time into interesting conversation.
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Old 06-20-2017, 08:40 PM   #122 (permalink)
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Old Yesterday, 02:34 AM   #123 (permalink)
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I think most people agree that 'hi' messages without anything following them up can be frustrating - especially for those who receive a high volume of IMs - but I think it's unfair to label those doing it as being this or that. I'm sure there are a number of reasons and some of them have already been suggested, but I also wonder if some people are simply mimicking RL F2F conversation exactly without an appreciation of the differences in the dynamic.

All that being said I must admit if I receive an offline 'hi' message with no follow-up I generally don't reply.
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Old Yesterday, 09:20 AM   #124 (permalink)
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On the other hand, people who have IMed me with something different have proven to be, on average, far more interesting conversation partners than the "hi", "how are you?" crowd.
"Hi, wanna fuck?"
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Old Yesterday, 11:27 PM   #125 (permalink)
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"Hi, wanna fuck?"
Yeah, those got old real quick. I'm like, really? That's the best pickup line you've got?
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