Disclaiming permission to share IMs - Page 3 - SLUniverse Forums
Navigation » SLUniverse Forums > Virtual World Discussion > General SL Discussion » Disclaiming permission to share IMs


General SL Discussion Discuss topics related to Second Life

 
Sponsor:
LIONHEART - We Have Your Land
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-15-2017, 11:43 PM   #51 (permalink)
DILLIGAFF
 
WolfEyes's Avatar
Society's Lost Bird
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 10,729
SL Join Date: April 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dillon Levenque View Post
It doesn't need much, WolfEyes. If you just put something in (I think it's ) the Bio section, you're good to go. A little hint of who you are. I suggest not going with "I like Piña Coladas, getting caught in the rain", but to each her or his own. Doesn't have to be a big deal. Most profile pervs check Picks, too. Mine are horrifically outdated and I keep telling myself I need to update them. Oddly enough myself ignores me.
Yeah I know. But if you have more than one account are all your profiles exactly the same? No? Well... there ya go.
__________________
This is the truth.
Mitakuye oyasin.
To all my relations, keep dancing.
Believe or you will not see.
WolfEyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 04:39 AM   #52 (permalink)
Eternal Newbie

*SLU Supporter*
Entirely without credibility
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 3,047
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 21 June 2009
Client: Firestorm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaelissa Cortes View Post
Yes! So many people are all waiting around the same areas wanting to talk with somebody else, but they're all too shy/scared to make the first move.
This reminds me of RL discothèques in my teenage years.
Arkady Arkright is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 10:29 AM   #53 (permalink)
Fuzzlebugs Finkmellon
 
Anouk's Avatar
haz dem bodacious ta-tas
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 2,755
My Mood:
SL Join Date: September 2009
Client: Singularity

Awards: 1
SLU Creepy Avatar Competition 2014 Participant 
I must admit that I do find profiles useful. They are a very good indication as to the kind of conversation you can expect from a person. If I'm bored and mooching about looking for someone to chat with, I will always check profiles first before initiating a conversation. If I'm looking for someone to shoot the breeze with, I want someone whose profile gives an indication of at least some level of intelligence and humour. The same goes for when I receive random IMs if I'm out and about. I will quickly check out the profile first to see if I'm likely to get a sensible conversation from the sender, or if it's going to be a 'hi - wanna fuk?' situation.

SL has been amazingly beneficial in helping me overcome my difficulties in making small talk with strangers. Initially, by being able to hide behind my avatar and not feel self conscious, and later, since running my club. I now find it so much easier to strike up conversation with people I don't know IRL.
__________________
Quote:
Caffeine Nights group blog, with pics and stories and stuff: http://caffeinenights.net/
Quote:
Cristiano
The first rule of Pope Club is you don't talk about Pope Club.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OrinB View Post
Anouk: "Proudly shackling the genie-arses of abnormal men!"
Anouk is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Agreed:
Old 06-16-2017, 10:37 AM   #54 (permalink)
Formerly Quantum Destiny

*SLU Supporter*
 
Robert Daguerre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: England, UK, Europe, Planet Earth.
Posts: 4,175
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 25 July 2004
I have to say I really hate small talk, whether it's in RL or SL! Don't get me wrong I love meeting and chatting to new people, but I just can't stand pointless 'filler', for want of a better way of describing it!
Robert Daguerre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 10:48 AM   #55 (permalink)
Fuzzlebugs Finkmellon
 
Anouk's Avatar
haz dem bodacious ta-tas
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 2,755
My Mood:
SL Join Date: September 2009
Client: Singularity

Awards: 1
SLU Creepy Avatar Competition 2014 Participant 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Daguerre View Post
I have to say I really hate small talk, whether it's in RL or SL! Don't get me wrong I love meeting and chatting to new people, but I just can't stand pointless 'filler', for want of a better way of describing it!
Same here! And that was always the big stumbling block with me when meeting people for the first time - making small talk and sounding like you actually gave a shit, rather than it being an interrogation. But that comes with practice.

And as an example - my partner works for a holiday company (walking holidays in the UK and abroad) and his company sends him to various hotels to check on the facilities and also to interact with the other guests to get feedback. Now he also says that he doesn't like making small talk with strangers but he's actually very good at chatting to anyone about anything. I've been along a few times on these trips and in the early days, I hated it because I didn't like to or want to interact with the other guests. But now it comes much more easily. I simply go into SL club mode:

'Hi - nice to met you - where are you from?'. A simple introduction which usually leads on from there. And people respond to it.
Anouk is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Like This:
Old 06-16-2017, 10:52 AM   #56 (permalink)
Formerly Quantum Destiny

*SLU Supporter*
 
Robert Daguerre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: England, UK, Europe, Planet Earth.
Posts: 4,175
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 25 July 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anouk View Post

'Hi - nice to met you - where are you from?'. A simple introduction which usually leads on from there. And people respond to it.
See I think that's absolutely fine. I suppose that does come under the 'small talk' banner, but it's not the pointless filler that often follows after that. I've always been a good reader of body language, facial expressions, etc, and so it's so obvious to me when someone is on autopilot, and that I find annoying. Even worse when you can tell they're not actually taking in the answers!
Robert Daguerre is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Agreed:
Old 06-16-2017, 10:55 AM   #57 (permalink)
Senior Member
 
mikka Luik's Avatar
the only good tory is one thats been fed through a woodchipper feet first
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Behind you...
Posts: 589
My Mood:
Business: fabrik
Client: Singularity, Kokua, Alchemy, LL if I have to, yes have to pick one sometime..
I check profiles all the time, not the web ones thiough - even I have better things to do than wait for that crapola to load. That disclaimer gets a note in the err notes field and I ignore them. As I do most of my chat in groups its no hassle. Mind you, there are degrees of ranking all the way up to the C bomb for various reasons (including, but not limited to, politics, groups, if I remember something from forae and if I am having a moody, ie most days with 'day' in it =^^= ).
mikka Luik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 10:56 AM   #58 (permalink)
Formerly Quantum Destiny

*SLU Supporter*
 
Robert Daguerre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: England, UK, Europe, Planet Earth.
Posts: 4,175
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 25 July 2004
So I think it's more the intent, level of interest or genuineness than it is the nature of the questions asked, but you still have to make some allowances for nerves - I'm sure everyone at some point has asked someone's name and then immediately forgotten it because they were caught on the spot and went into autopilot!
Robert Daguerre is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Agreed:
Old 06-16-2017, 10:57 AM   #59 (permalink)
Fuzzlebugs Finkmellon
 
Anouk's Avatar
haz dem bodacious ta-tas
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 2,755
My Mood:
SL Join Date: September 2009
Client: Singularity

Awards: 1
SLU Creepy Avatar Competition 2014 Participant 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Daguerre View Post
See I think that's absolutely fine. I suppose that does come under the 'small talk' banner, but it's not the pointless filler that often follows after that. I've always been a good reader of body language, facial expressions, etc, and so it's so obvious to me when someone is on autopilot, and that I find annoying. Even worse when you can tell they're not actually taking in the answers!
I always used to envy people who could make general chitchat with total strangers and be natural and comfortable about it. I suppose the 'trick' is that you genuinely do have to be interested, rather than ask questions for the sake of it. Obviously some people are much easier to get chatting to than others. If they are receptive and the chat flows both ways, it's great. I've actually met some lovely people by making myself be brave and just talk to them. It's surprising what connections you can make and what interesting stuff you can discover.
Anouk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 11:01 AM   #60 (permalink)
Formerly Quantum Destiny

*SLU Supporter*
 
Robert Daguerre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: England, UK, Europe, Planet Earth.
Posts: 4,175
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 25 July 2004
As for the original issue on IMs:

1. I personally consider them as being private messages between the two of us only and as such I won't record or share IMs with others and don't expect the other person to either.
2. I appreciate that not everyone considers them the same way and so I assume that my IMs are public domain and share things I wouldn't be massively keen on being 'out there' only with people I feel I can trust.
3. I avoid people who state in their profile that they log IMs simply because I think there is a fair chance I wouldn't get on with them!
Robert Daguerre is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Likes This:
Old 06-16-2017, 11:14 AM   #61 (permalink)
Formerly Quantum Destiny

*SLU Supporter*
 
Robert Daguerre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: England, UK, Europe, Planet Earth.
Posts: 4,175
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 25 July 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anouk View Post
I always used to envy people who could make general chitchat with total strangers and be natural and comfortable about it. I suppose the 'trick' is that you genuinely do have to be interested, rather than ask questions for the sake of it. Obviously some people are much easier to get chatting to than others. If they are receptive and the chat flows both ways, it's great. I've actually met some lovely people by making myself be brave and just talk to them. It's surprising what connections you can make and what interesting stuff you can discover.
I suppose it just comes down to what you want to get from those interactions. I'd say most people seem perfectly happy with using small talk and not being genuinely interested - they really are just on autopilot and use it as a way of navigating. They're probably the best off, and if I'm being completely honest I'm a little envious of them being able to do that. I totally agree it's worth being brave (I struggle with this as much as my lack of patience!) generally and of course even the deepest meaningful connections usually start with small talk.
Robert Daguerre is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Hugged You:
1 User Agreed:
Old 06-16-2017, 11:29 AM   #62 (permalink)
captured like a Pokemans.
 
Deca!'s Avatar
bitches love to be called beautiful.
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: nowhere near civilization.
Posts: 12,767
My Mood:
SL Join Date: early 2006.

Awards: 1
SLU Creepy Avatar Competition 2014 Participant 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Daguerre View Post
I totally agree it's worth being brave (I struggle with this as much as my lack of patience!) generally and of course even the deepest meaningful connections usually start with small talk.


It's how I met my best friend. He was the brave one, stepping outside his comfort zone and messaging me after weeks of wanting to. He could tell I was down and just opened with "Hey, you ok?"

That was 4 years ago this November and we haven't gone a day without talking.
__________________
"If I were a caterpillar, I'd probably emerge from my cocoon as another larger, fatter caterpillar."

I can't believe the things that you'll say
To keep me around and close to your side.

-- Film School - Compare.

When a country is full of food, and exporting it, there can be no famine.
-- George Bernard Shaw.
Deca! is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Said Awww:
Old 06-16-2017, 11:33 AM   #63 (permalink)
Emergency Mustelid
 
Argent Stonecutter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 18,866
Even if they were properly worded, contracts of adhesion are a hard sell. Getting legal support for the terms in shrinkwrap contracts was part of why there was a DMCA in the first place, and there's nothing in the DMCA about chat logs.
__________________
Argent Stonecutter -- Skyhook Station -- Coonspiracy Store

"And now I'm going to show you something really cool."


The previous is a cybernetic datum published - in direct contravention of DoD Regulation #229RR3X3 - as being conducive to the physical, psychological and/or social well-being of the population.
Argent Stonecutter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 12:24 PM   #64 (permalink)
Quietly watching
 
Vaelissa Cortes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Relaxing at home.
Posts: 3,378
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 4/24/2007
Client: PoundLife
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Daguerre View Post
I have to say I really hate small talk, whether it's in RL or SL! Don't get me wrong I love meeting and chatting to new people, but I just can't stand pointless 'filler', for want of a better way of describing it!
This, and this following quote are a big rant of mine...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anouk View Post
'Hi - nice to met you - where are you from?'. A simple introduction which usually leads on from there. And people respond to it.
Second Life has made me dislike IMs starting with "hi" or "hello", which are of course always followed by "how are you?". I wish people could just pretend they already said that and get to the reason they IMed. It's not that I'm unfriendly, it due to the fact that over the course of 10 years I have learned that, more often than not, IMs that start in this manner aren't going to lead to a conversation I have any interest in. I don't like going through the usual canned conversation starters just to, once again, find out it's yet another guy wanting to put his virtual wiener into my avatar.

Then there's the people who IM me wanting help with something, completely missing the part in my profile where I state I'm probably AFK, so if I do reply, hours later, they still want to go through the canned filler just to get to the question they wanted to ask me that I could have answered as soon as I got back if they just left a message. It's even worse if they do it when I'm offline since I could have gotten back to them right away half the time on my phone or something. This is a super common issue for me.

On the other hand, people who have IMed me with something different have proven to be, on average, far more interesting conversation partners than the "hi", "how are you?" crowd.
Vaelissa Cortes is offline   Reply With Quote
2 Users Said Thanks :
Old 06-16-2017, 02:55 PM   #65 (permalink)
Senior Member

*SLU Supporter*
 
Tris's Avatar
watching
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 707
SL Join Date: 27/10/2010
Client: Official (w/Starlight) & Catznip
Have to somewhat disagree on this. I allmost allways open a new conversation with "Hi" or "Hello", simply because i find it more polite.

I agree on the "Hi, how are you?" part though. If i want something from someone, i state so after the "hi".
__________________
“I think you're applying a level of logic and a standard of clarity of communication that has never applied in this parallel universe of ours.” - Couldbe Yue

“Reality is what it is, not what you want it to be.” - Frank Zappa
Tris is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Agreed:
Old 06-16-2017, 03:26 PM   #66 (permalink)
DILLIGAFF
 
WolfEyes's Avatar
Society's Lost Bird
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 10,729
SL Join Date: April 2004
The results of the last time this was discussed on SLU:

SLUniverse Forums - Support Group for those NOT dating Jack Bevedere

Anyone dating Jack yet? Where is he anyway? I haven't seen him post much, if at all, of late.
WolfEyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 06:21 PM   #67 (permalink)
Formerly Quantum Destiny

*SLU Supporter*
 
Robert Daguerre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: England, UK, Europe, Planet Earth.
Posts: 4,175
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 25 July 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tris View Post
Have to somewhat disagree on this. I allmost allways open a new conversation with "Hi" or "Hello", simply because i find it more polite.

I agree on the "Hi, how are you?" part though. If i want something from someone, i state so after the "hi".
I'm ok with it too: it's a natural opener. It can be a bit frustrating if nothing else follows it in the first message - particularly if you get a lot of IMs (which I haven't for a long time, thankfully!) - but even then I put those instances down to lack of confidence, unease, etc, and I'm never going to think any less of anyone like that - they are the way they are because they care.
Robert Daguerre is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Said Thanks:
Old 06-16-2017, 06:27 PM   #68 (permalink)
Formerly Quantum Destiny

*SLU Supporter*
 
Robert Daguerre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: England, UK, Europe, Planet Earth.
Posts: 4,175
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 25 July 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaelissa Cortes View Post
This, and this following quote are a big rant of mine...



Second Life has made me dislike IMs starting with "hi" or "hello", which are of course always followed by "how are you?". I wish people could just pretend they already said that and get to the reason they IMed. It's not that I'm unfriendly, it due to the fact that over the course of 10 years I have learned that, more often than not, IMs that start in this manner aren't going to lead to a conversation I have any interest in. I don't like going through the usual canned conversation starters just to, once again, find out it's yet another guy wanting to put his virtual wiener into my avatar.

Then there's the people who IM me wanting help with something, completely missing the part in my profile where I state I'm probably AFK, so if I do reply, hours later, they still want to go through the canned filler just to get to the question they wanted to ask me that I could have answered as soon as I got back if they just left a message. It's even worse if they do it when I'm offline since I could have gotten back to them right away half the time on my phone or something. This is a super common issue for me.

On the other hand, people who have IMed me with something different have proven to be, on average, far more interesting conversation partners than the "hi", "how are you?" crowd.
I don't think that an IM starting with 'hi' is going to be any less or more interesting, but I can completely understand the frustration, especially if you get a lot of IMs. For some reason I have less patience for small talk RL than I do SL, though I am not sure why!
Robert Daguerre is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Agreed:
Old 06-16-2017, 06:28 PM   #69 (permalink)
Quietly watching
 
Vaelissa Cortes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Relaxing at home.
Posts: 3,378
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 4/24/2007
Client: PoundLife
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robert Daguerre View Post
they are the way they are because they care.
...and here I'd like to point out that this is entirely wrong much of the time. It really, truly is an entirely empty opener in many, many cases. I've found it doesn't matter what you answer, so long as you answer so they can move along to their reason for IMing.
Vaelissa Cortes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 06:33 PM   #70 (permalink)
Formerly Quantum Destiny

*SLU Supporter*
 
Robert Daguerre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: England, UK, Europe, Planet Earth.
Posts: 4,175
My Mood:
SL Join Date: 25 July 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaelissa Cortes View Post
...and here I'd like to point out that this is entirely wrong much of the time. It really, truly is an entirely empty opener in many, many cases. I've found it doesn't matter what you answer, so long as you answer so they can move along to their reason for IMing.
But that's just because they do care in the sense that they are a little unsure and/or feel awkward. Again, I understand why it is frustrating though - I've felt that way myself when busy.
Robert Daguerre is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Said WTF?:
1 User Agreed:
1 User Disagreed:
Old 06-16-2017, 06:56 PM   #71 (permalink)
Particle Laboratory Elf
 
Jopsy Pendragon's Avatar
Generally disappointed with humanity
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Diego
Posts: 10,555
My Mood:
SL Join Date: Jan 15 2004
Business: Light Sorcery

Awards: 1
SLU Creepy Avatar Competition 2014 Participant 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tris View Post
Have to somewhat disagree on this. I allmost allways open a new conversation with "Hi" or "Hello", simply because i find it more polite.

I agree on the "Hi, how are you?" part though. If i want something from someone, i state so after the "hi".
Most of the time when I initiate contact with someone I don't know, it's usually someone that 'works' in SL... so I usually open with "If/when you get a moment, I'd like to ask you about {something}..."

If I can, I make {something} specific enough, so that the they might be able to provide an answer without needing more information.

Usually I reserve "Hi!" or "Hello!" for people in the same region as me. =)
Jopsy Pendragon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 07:05 PM   #72 (permalink)
Emergency Mustelid
 
Argent Stonecutter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 18,866
I get a lot of IM-to-email messages. Even when people get that message saying they're talking to a mailbox, they still so often just say "hi" and wait for me to respond. You'd think that at least they'd respond to that with an explanation of what they want, but no, they just go "Hello!" and wait.

As it turns out, they get to wait forever, because I'm not going to waste my time answering someone like that.
Argent Stonecutter is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Said Thanks:
1 User Agreed:
Old 06-16-2017, 08:16 PM   #73 (permalink)
But it refused. <3

*SLU Supporter*
 
Kamilah Hauptmann's Avatar
I'm a regular Victor Victoria
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Cat Country. Can't stop there.
Posts: 9,069

Awards: 1
SLU Creepy Avatar Competition 2014 Participant 
Random: hi
Me: Heya, whatcha need?
Random: ur avoe is hot
Me: I know. Whatcha need?
Random offers texture: dick_pic.jpg
__________________
Some days you herp a derp, sometimes the derp herps you.
Kamilah Hauptmann is online now   Reply With Quote
2 Users Agreed:
Old 06-16-2017, 09:45 PM   #74 (permalink)
Just call me Beth
 
Aribeth Zelin's Avatar
Singing along with old music
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Out in the mists
Posts: 8,166
My Mood:
SL Join Date: Oct 4 2009
Business: Moondrops ; Tempus Fugit; Faerycat Designs; sPunk
Client: Firestorm
I'll admit I'm really bad about initiating contact with folks. I'm stupidly shy, and worse, really don't want to be a bother.

However, if people can get me talking, especially about something I'm into [like music, or critters, or creating stuff]? Then its hard to get me to shut up.
__________________
Atomic Faery
Aribeth Zelin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2017, 10:19 PM   #75 (permalink)
DILLIGAFF
 
WolfEyes's Avatar
Society's Lost Bird
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 10,729
SL Join Date: April 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aribeth Zelin View Post
I'll admit I'm really bad about initiating contact with folks. I'm stupidly shy, and worse, really don't want to be a bother.

However, if people can get me talking, especially about something I'm into [like music, or critters, or creating stuff]? Then its hard to get me to shut up.
I'm not exactly shy although I get that way at times. The rest is me too.

Then there are days when I just wish everyone would go the fuck away and leave me the fuck alone.




Sometimes, as soon as they do, I wish they were still there.
WolfEyes is offline   Reply With Quote
1 User Hugged You:
1 User Likes This:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On




SEO by vBSEO