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WarKirby Magojiro

In that same time, we have also seen the population of SL go from tiny numbers, up to millions.

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Huns Valens

One idea I don't quite follow is the idea that it doesn't matter who is behind the avatar, just how they present themselves through the avatar. I cannot really get interested in an avatar/persona, I have to know the person behind it. I just can't divide the two. If your avatar is a 25 year old woman and you are a 45 year old man, I will always see a 45 year old man when I look at your avatar.

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Brenda Archer

This leads to an interesting question I've always wondered. Many people seem much more able to explore new dimensions of relationships and sexuality in SL. Is all the experimenting a potential that was always there and waiting for a safe venue to come out, or has SL been a vector for transmitting new sexual and relationship styles to people who otherwise would not have come across them? It's probably both but it would be cool to see a study with percentages.

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Et ses mains ourdiraient les entrailles du prêtre,
Au défaut d’un cordon pour étrangler les rois. - Denis Diderot

Huns Valens

SL helped me learn to open up a little and not be a total curmudgeon.

I am still a curmudgeon. Just... less

Sooz Pascale

I'm obviously just not good partnership material. That is not going to prevent me from having fun and enjoying SL. I expect, no DEMAND invitations to all of the weddings that involve at least one person I know and/or like. Also, ladies, if one of your bridesmaids flakes at the last minute I have an extensive wardrobe of formal gowns and can fill in as a last minute bridesmaid replacement easily.

I am not going to need the wedding or a partner to have fun.

Sooz

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5.5 on the highly scientific Troutometer scale.

Circle Widdershins

By partnership I meant an intimate relationship with another person - with all the many permutations that can take. The tick-a-box is just another variation of that.


I believe that the potential has always been there. The idea of the one on one romantic monogamy is a fairly recent one historically. (I blame Hallmark) The forum of SL gives people a freedom they may not have in RL to explore different avenues and in so doing they explore themselves. Which might be one of the reasons it's all so addictive. I'd like to see a study or a thesis done about the dynamics of SL relationships. Maybe if I ever get around to doing my postgrad.......

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I have tortured tiny prims for my own amusement and sell the results at my shop: Treasures ~ Jewelry by Circle.
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Charlemagne Allen

People think, "polygamy, wouldn't that be fun?," in the same way they say, "Wouldn't it be fun to have large breasts/lots of muscles?" Having multiple partners requires certain tolerances that a lot people don't have, and if one one follows fetishized image, it doesn't work.

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Ingrid N.

I think polyamorous relationships are one of those things that just work out better in RL than SL... they often require more relationship maintenance than monogamous relationships because there's so much more of a possibility that one person will feel neglected or left out. Just doesn't work so well if your group is in 4 different time zones.

And oh god don't get me started on gorean polygyny. Clusterfuck if ever there was one.

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Oh No, Ingrid! - Fashion reviews, queer rants and horrible perversions. Written by a goat. Good times!

Ikte Tones

My partner and I have been together for about 18 months now. We met in SL and yes, we've had our bad patches, but it works well overall. We meet up in RL as often as possible, and well...who knows where else it may lead.

Brave Republic

I started on Sl meeting and flirting with another "newborn" the first or second day I was on. We were unusual i guess as all of us rezzed around that time were just dropped into the Morris/Ahern welcome center and none of us went through any orientation. What a blast it was learning just how to move! Also, I made rudimentary boots almost immediatley by coloring my sandals black, adding black socks and making heels and so forth bigger. No textures just color

That first crush was great, until I saw her RL pic. I've talked about this before and have been accused of "being shallow" but I just can't connect with someone romantically/sexually if I do not find them at all pleasing aesthetically in rl. Having said that, I forgive a lot of physical imperfections too, and find the eyes, face and personality to be my first priority-- so the person doesn't have to look like a goddess, but she shouldn't look like something from "Where the wild things are" either!

In a way I learned a valuable lesson and one which should have been obvious - had I any experience at all in online gaming: The avatars are always perfect for the most part--even of person behind it isn't. I was approaching SL as I did RL--"wow she's hot" (so therefore she must be in rl too). An extreme rookie mistake.

Anyway, I decided not to get that close again and go with the flow. I flirted with and hooked up with a lot of women. My friends list was huge and my IM's were laborious to keep up with. I was getting constant booty calls and it seemed every female I met in SL (partnered or not) was interested in seeing my prim "trouser mauser." About this time, I wound up hanging/hooking up with a chick that was 18. She was in her first year of college. None of this I discovered until we had been hanging for a while and I never would have guessed as she seemed pretty mature. Seemed is the key word. We had a few pixel bumps and danced a bit and started to get to know each other. My ego was getting some major pumps from the whole exsperience. One day, I look in her profile and whooooooooa she had added her RL pic. Yikes, not ugly, but to be kind Ill say just not what I find attractive.

At this same time I had also started to hang and see another female closer in age to me and with more in common (or so I thought!) and who seemed very interested in my darker needs. We shall call her "C". I just went cold turkey on the younger girl one day after a real, and very convenient, disagreement. I was being kind and sparing her from the truth of why I really wasnt interested, so at least no feelings got hurt badly by me saying well it's because "I do not remotely find you attractive in RL" never had to be said- not that I'd ever be that cruel, you know what I mean. Going forward I promised myself for anyone serious I'd make sure all the things I wanted were there before getting too involved, including RL attraction so as to not have any surprises shoul dthings move to that level.

Shortly after that i met my current partner. I decided to ask her and "C" to both be my pets. we had a polyamorous 3 way relationship. It was wonderful for a while as we had fun and I could still do what I wanted to with others. Even that worked because the others not collared would be "toys" as we came to call them--casual flings and with no strings-just sex.

As pointed out earlier, polyamorous is hard to keep going. Jealousies and attention needs often are there in spades even if all parties agree to it on a rational level. One night "c" , logged on after a night of drinking and dancing with her friends. She was seeking my company and the deep meaningful solace of a phone call (he he he). What she found instead was me in the bedroom, playing with a new "friend" ie toy. She went nuts. Ahh good times--she never , ever got over her anger on this--but thankfully it was focused eventually on the toy. the toy thought the whole thing was hilarious and kept tempting me to her skybox which she claimed to have recently "pet proofed"

A few months later I was also seriously considering adding a third pet to the mix, even bought a collar. It became problematic due to time differences(she was in UK) and some brewing issues with "C" and we decided not to after the whole "C" breakup. Long story short, "C" became more and more needy. The more I thought about it, her neediness, her actions in public, and just her general personality, I discovered she wasn't right for me and that Cel really was. "C" and I parted ways after I had enough (Im sure she did too).

After that, I was left with two unworn collars and the most amazing person I know in SL Cel and I moved forward and have been having a blast. I'm a huge flirt and attention whore and frankly love women and sex to the point of being obsessive and free with my attentions. Why I mention this is a precursor to telling you that I started to slowly realize that everything I ever really wanted was already there and mine. This made me think so more and I took the first step of voluntarily removing the "toy clause" from our arrangement and to be officially monogamous, even though i had been so since C left. I'm still not sure what i was drinking that night but it just felt right to make it more official to show cel how I felt.

Then after much thought (a month) I decided to ask her to be my partner and just make it all SL official. No fanfare or creepy SL ceremony that parodies the church or civil ceremonies online (man they are creepy I still dont know how people do that.. SL ministers and all, eeep)

The month was a test to see how I felt about the monogamy and things in general. Could i do it? The answer is yes. Things are awesome and I am happy to say things are progressing amazingly for us.

We are there for each other both in SL and RL, although our situations in RL are such that realistically meeting would be tough-almost impossible. We are a complete couple except for that. Who knows what will happen? We may one day get the chance to meet and that would be amazing, but in the meantime I think we are both looking forward to a lengthy and happy time together in SL.

Brave

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CheapStone

SL = SL, i'm not taking this subject seriously unless i know the person in RL..
Lots of people get RL relation's through SL though, good for them.

Briana Dawson

Well if anything i have learned in SL is that 'looks are not everything', but only a small part of the total package. What makes a person attractive is who they are not what they look like. Looks do have an impact as we all have our turnoffs. But after you get to know someone so deeply and closely like you can in SL, how can you look at their picture and then cast aside everything that came before that moment? I cannot do that. That picture is possibly someone you have emotional feelings for and feelings are not pixelated or virtual.

Reno Corleone

As a polyamorous person in RL as well as SL, I believe that yes it does take a lot of understanding and natural lack of jealousy to make something like that type of a relationship work.

While I believe in being able to love more than one person, anyone, no matter who you are can be stretched thin as far as attention is concerned. While you may be able to have feelings for more than one person, I believe that everyone deserves and expects a certain degree of attention from their mate(s).

It was SL in fact that helped me to realize and understand my polyamorous nature, as these feelings I came to realize I had in RL as well.

I am not partnered in SL, but I do have all sorts of "relationships" of varying degrees with lots of people who most would call "friends". Some are just "friends" of the purely plutonic sense, some are friends but more, some are just playmates, and a select few share my heart. To some this may seem completely selfish, or needy, but really what I stand to get out of it is interaction with a great group of people on a level they are comfortable with. We all share things in common to some degree, and thrive in such a relationship environment.

As with any part of SL, I think the important thing is that the experience is what we make it. We are free to be happy in our own ways.

I am completely open and honest with all of the people whom I interact with, and I dont like games just as much as the next person.

prinţesă nină

brave, please go fuck yourself.
ta.

Joshua Nightshade

I don't understand cybersex.

Brave's post made my stomach turn.

Reno Corleone

At least he was honest?

Asher Bertrand

Well, golly day. Printesa and I are somewhat in agreement.

While I wouldn't word it like that, I would say that it sounds like you treat people a bit like objects, Brave. And it was an uncomfortable read.

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Jessyanne