Joshua Nightshade

Well I don't think it was meant to be trollish.

I know a lot of people think private messages are sacrosanct and holy. And when someone shares these things it's about as much a Bad Thing as can be done.

Instead of really trying to set a Rule about what the line is, I think we can all agree it depends on context and situation and can't be pinned down to a specific guideline.

Jessyanne

No, I don't think it was meant as trollish. However, I would have expected more sensitivity in post timing from Love, than this. I am rather surprised.

Personally, i do think emails, PM's are sacred and secret... Unless, they are unsolicited. If anyone is going to jizz and/or crap up my inbox unsolicited, they will have to deal with the consequences.

__________________

Alexa Lioncourt

Agreed but again.. someone does something, their intent is to help. A separate thread is created and then their action is debated? When they already feel bad about the whole shitcan?

Again, it seems like bad taste.. Just my opinion.

__________________
Alexa

Taco F. Rubio: how much does a hill billy cost these days?
Sarah Nerd: A sloppy joe and a pack of smokes

Alexa Lioncourt

Thank you for putting it in a clearer way. Love I am sorry for saying trollish. I just found it insensitive knowing the character of many of the women that received these PMs.


Again, I apologize.

Jessyanne

I think we all fall and end up with our head up our ass once in awhile. From reading Love's posts, I do not think for one moment she meant any harm. It's not the vibe I've gotten from her. I think she is merely extremly curious. And maybe lacking in time couth with this. But that's it. Let's cut her a bit of slack. I really doubt she meant any harm.

Jessyanne

Dangit Alexa! I'm not used to someone apologizing or changing thier mind so quickly! Now my my post above is not needed!

Alexa Lioncourt

When I'm wrong, I'm wrong...

Your wording captured my feelings better than I could

Menchor Barbosa

Sometimes you have to resist the overwhelming urge to dump an IM into open chat. Reading this thread reminds me of a situation, or series of situations I get into as a greeter at the gate or the ballroom in Avilion. Both places have dress codes, and the job of a greeter or host is to enforce them. The problem is the greeter has no authority to eject or ban the person (although they do have quick access to those who do). The other thing you may know if you have visited Avilion is that Avilion is very polite. So the problem is how to ask someone to conform in a polite manner. The process is to send an IM making the specific request and to work with the person to conform to the rules. A problem occurs when someone decides the rules do not apply to them, and they respond in open chat with a blatant misquote of what you have asked them.

Example from ballroom:ME (in IM): Hi, your face light is lovely, but you need to remove it it is making the room strobe.
BOZO: (IN IM) oh I am glad you like it
BOZO: (IN IM) why do I have to remove it?
ME (in IM):Your face light is making a strobe in the low light and this causes some people to get a headache. This is why we ask people to remove them.
BOZO: (Open Chat) I'm leaving since the hostess says she doesn't like my face.
ME (in IM) Your face is lovely, its the effect from the light that is causing the problem.
BOZO: (Open Chat) I'm going to leave since they don't like my face here.
Me: (in IM) suit yourself, you are most welcome to stay without the face light.
BOZO: (leaves)

Obviously the public chat has been heard by others in the vicinity. Now I am stuck with a problem. I can dump the chat log in public chat and settle what has been said. I can say nothing. Or I can reply truthfully to inquiries about the exchange. I wound up answering the two or 3 inquiries, including those in open chat in an IM to the individual person. Of course if there was an issue later I have the entire chat log.

The course of action you usually want to take, as a reflex, with such a person is to dump the IM's into open chat and paint them as the bozo they are. However my job is to welcome people and enforce (politely) the rules. Dumping the comments, while vindicating me, would have spoiled the evening for the other people in the ballroom, and is not what the job is about.

A final note, it amazes me the number of people who can't spell Gestapo correctly.

__________________
Baroness Menchor, the Deadly, of the Great Army of the Invincible Infidel, Whose Great Swarms of Evil and Horror Laid Waste to the Souls of a Million True Believers and Left Their Souls Rotting in the Summer Sun for the Buzzards to to Ravish as Their Souls Sunk to the Depths of Torment and Hopelessness, Abandoned by Their Gods.

Youth and strength can almost always be overcome by old age and treachery

Love

Truth be told, something about that other thread has been bothering me. But rather than air it directly (stirring up the closed thread), I tried to keep it generic, and specifically asked that people not bring that messiness up.

Sorry if my timing was uncouth.

Just because I know now it has to be said, I do recognize who the victims were in that other thread. No doubt. No argument. OK?

Ten

I'm not sure Love meant to be insensitive (as if there was a necessity to be "insensitive") she was just asking a question.

Personally, if you write something in a PM, you should fully expect it to be disclosed somewhere else at some other point in time.

__________________

Khamon

Y'all feel free to quote anything I say anywhere anytime y'hear?

__________________
But of bliss and glad life there is little to be said, before it ends; as works fair and wonderful, while still they endure for eyes to see, are their own record, and only when they are in peril or broken for ever do they pass into song. - Quenta Silmarillion

Please Visit Our Gardens and Our Website

Lucifer Baphomet

Ok

Asher Bertrand

__________________

Khamon

fixed

Ingrid

yikes!

I would think operating like this would lead you to have some pretty shallow relationships with people. Trust is really important even when it comes to friendships. Online and offline.

__________________
"You know how this thread is going to end? I'll tell you how it's gonna end. It's going to end well." - Aimee Weber

Fred Up

No t-shirt for you.

Brenda Archer

If someone sends me a friendly or social PM, I would keep that in confidence.

Thread related arguments and bullying may be posted.

I have no problem with anyone forwarding examples of harassment to Cristiano to ask for help.

Ten

Shallow relationships with people online? Yes. It's very hard to trust people fully online when you never see them. I have one person who is an exception.

Offline? Not so much. Things are easier in person.

Khamon

fixed again

Asher Bertrand

fixed [resolved] again