SLUniverse Forums

Aimee Weber · 01-11-2008, 06:53 PM

Since the drama of the day seems to be drama itself, I thought I would throw together a few rules of forum conduct I usually try to live by.

No ad hominem attacks.
Just don't do it, not even in retaliation. Tossing out insults creates the appearance that you are not confident in your position on a debate. And let's face it, nobody has ever been convinced that somebody else is an idiot just because you said they were. So don't bother. All these kinds of attacks will likely do is end the open exchange of ideas.

Be willing to ignore a few ad hominem attacks.
If somebody says "You're stupid, everybody knows that gun control blaa blaa blaa" then respond to their gun control comment as if they never uttered the insult. While they did get away with an initial shot at you, it never actually helps their argument, and by rising above these attacks you may very well salvage the rest of the discussion and appear to be the one with confidence in your ideas.

Ignore people who continue with ad hominem attacks.
People who let the insults fly don't deserve your time. You don't have to use the ignore feature, but simply stop addressing them directly. If their bile contains a seed of argument that you would like to address, you can often address their points indirectly by responding to other people in the thread.

Also important. Don't TELL people you are ignoring them. That is simply a tactic intended to provoke them, which shouldn't be your goal. Instead, simply step around their posts like poo on a sidewalk so you can bring the thread where you want it to go.

Make sure you understand what the other person is saying before you reply.
Read their post carefully and try not to miss important words that change the overall meaning of their post. For example, don't mistake the words "Usually" or "Often" as meaning "Always with no exceptions at all, ever!"

If your interpretation of what somebody is saying is cartoonishly evil, go ahead and re-read their post and think it over a little more since you may well be misunderstanding what they are saying (sure, Darth Vader and Satan openly embrace evil, but most of us are just trying to do GOOD, regardless of how strongly you disagree with them.)

If you're not sure what a poster means, just ask them to clarify before you respond.

Correctly represent the other person's opinions
Once you fully understand what the other person is saying ... be honest and address what they are actually saying. Taking liberties with other people's ideas or putting words into other people's mouths is the ultimate strawman fallacy and it's very disrespectful and unproductive.

Reign in the hyperbole
One infraction becomes "a pattern of behavior." One problem becomes "the end of the world as we know it." While hyperbole can add humor to spice up a post, if delivered seriously it's a form of dishonestly. If somebody did something once or twice, simply say once or twice rather than finding colorful descriptors that imply something that isn't true.

Use block quotes
Using the block quotes not only helps everybody understand who and what you are addressing, but they demonstrate that you're willing to address their points "as-is" rather than addressing a heavily biased interpretation of their points.

Acknowledge common ground
One way to take other posters off the defensive and promote the free flow of ideas is to build on common ground. If your debate opponent makes a point you agree with, let them know about it and try to build on that common ground! You may discover that your and your bitter opponent may differ only slightly in opinion.

Be concise
Nobody likes a Wall-Of-Text, least of all when the ideas could be expressed more quickly and concisely. Remember the relationship between you and the reader ... readers pay you a complement by reading what you have to say, so you should show your appreciation by delivering your points with the least amount of tangents, obfuscation, and thinking-while-you-write.

If what you have to say is long in nature, break it up into headlined sections so your post can be easily navigated. For example, readers of this post can enjoy a solid understanding of my ideas simply by scanning the section headers!

Have a sense of humor.
There is a difference between good natured ribbing and affronts to your person. Try to be a good sport. If humor seems to ride the line between good humor and insult, tell them how you feel so they can clarify. If they intended good humor, they will likely apologize, retract, and try to make things good. If their "humor" was a veiled attack against you, they will likely be obstinate.

GradyE · 01-11-2008, 06:57 PM

/ignores this vicious, unprovoked, ill informed, dastardly, and maladroit attack by Aimee Weber in favor of making a nice cup of tea.

Io Zeno · 01-11-2008, 07:00 PM

tl;dr

Surreal Farber · 01-11-2008, 07:01 PM

It's OK to beat another forum member, but only if the post is no longer than your thumb.

Aimee Weber · 01-11-2008, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GradyE

/ignores this vicious, unprovoked, ill informed, dastardly, and maladroit attack by Aimee Weber in favor of making a nice cup of tea.

*flings poo*

Vivianne Draper · 01-11-2008, 07:07 PM

i don't have rules for my thumbs

Sooz Pascale · 01-11-2008, 07:12 PM

This was, perhaps, the single best post I have ever read on any subject EVER. I shall try harder to take it to heart.

Thank you for this.

Sooz

Aimee Weber · 01-11-2008, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sooz Pascale

This was, perhaps, the single best post I have ever read on any subject EVER. I shall try harder to take it to heart.

Thank you for this.

Sooz

Aweeee. No making my heart melty!

Cristiano · 01-11-2008, 07:15 PM

Aimee,

Can I use these are part of the forum guidelines, along with NO FREAKY PORN AND NO SATELLITE PHOTOS OF WHERE CORY EDO LIVES OR TALKING ABOUT WHERE TO SCORE VICODIN POPSICLES (EVEN IF IT IS FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES!) OR TALKING SMACK ABOUT VIVA PINATA!

Polymorphous · 01-11-2008, 07:18 PM

but but but...

How will I ever go on without hyperbole? ZOMG!!!!111 I can't post here anymore! CENSORSHIP! AMY WANTS TO TAKE AWAY MY HYBERBOLE!! YOU ARE ALL OUT TO GET ME I HATE YOU ALL MY LIFE IS OVER I"AM LEAVING YOUARE ALL TEH EBILS> WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Vivianne Draper · 01-11-2008, 07:19 PM

i'm still trying to figure out why you have rules for your thumbs

Aimee Weber · 01-11-2008, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cristiano

Aimee,

Can I use these are part of the forum guidelines, along with NO FREAKY PORN AND NO SATELLITE PHOTOS OF WHERE CORY EDO LIVES OR TALKING ABOUT WHERE TO SCORE VICODIN POPSICLES (EVEN IF IT IS FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES!) OR TALKING SMACK ABOUT VIVA PINATA!

I honestly don't know how one can follow my aforementioned rules WITHOUT posting freaky cory viocdin pinata porn.

Clancy Sullivan · 01-11-2008, 07:21 PM

I do like the Aimee graphic on top of the thumb rules.

Cristiano · 01-11-2008, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vivianne Draper

i'm still trying to figure out why you have rules for your thumbs

How else can they be opposable if you have no rules to enable them to be opposed to?

Vivianne Draper · 01-11-2008, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cristiano

How else can they be opposable if you have no rules to enable them to be opposed to?

oh good point! this explains a lot about my motor skills

/me institutes rules for thumbs immediately

Cristiano · 01-11-2008, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vivianne Draper

oh good point! this explains a lot about my motor skills

/me institutes rules for thumbs immediately

Thank you, it is not every day that one can make an evolution joke.

CoyoteMomiji · 01-11-2008, 07:26 PM

(My rule of thumb is to refrain from going after something the person can't change: history of abuse, race, etc - and only address behavior, instead.)

(I'm not always successful at following it myself, but I try.)

Aimee Weber · 01-11-2008, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Polymorphous

AMY WANTS TO TAKE AWAY MY HYBERBOLE!!

Not just your hyperbole ... but your KIDNEY TOO!

CoyoteMomiji · 01-11-2008, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cristiano

Thank you, it is not every day that one can make an evolution joke.

On this board?

True, it's more "mockery" than "humor", but still!

ZATZAi · 01-11-2008, 07:31 PM

Awesome, now when do we see Weebler's guide to posting?

01-11-2008, 06:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
Aimee Weber Queen of the Metaverse Edit Status Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 3,725 My Mood:	Aimee's Posting Rules of Thumb Since the drama of the day seems to be drama itself, I thought I would throw together a few rules of forum conduct I usually try to live by. No ad hominem attacks. Just don't do it, not even in retaliation. Tossing out insults creates the appearance that you are not confident in your position on a debate. And let's face it, nobody has ever been convinced that somebody else is an idiot just because you said they were. So don't bother. All these kinds of attacks will likely do is end the open exchange of ideas. *Be willing to ignore a few* ad hominem attacks.** If somebody says "You're stupid, everybody knows that gun control blaa blaa blaa" then respond to their gun control comment as if they never uttered the insult. While they did get away with an initial shot at you, it never actually helps their argument, and by rising above these attacks you may very well salvage the rest of the discussion and appear to be the one with confidence in your ideas. Ignore people who continue with ad hominem attacks. People who let the insults fly don't deserve your time. You don't have to use the ignore feature, but simply stop addressing them directly. If their bile contains a seed of argument that you would like to address, you can often address their points indirectly by responding to other people in the thread. Also important. Don't TELL people you are ignoring them. That is simply a tactic intended to provoke them, which shouldn't be your goal. Instead, simply step around their posts like poo on a sidewalk so you can bring the thread where you want it to go. Make sure you understand what the other person is saying before you reply. Read their post carefully and try not to miss important words that change the overall meaning of their post. For example, don't mistake the words "Usually" or "Often" as meaning "Always with no exceptions at all, ever!" If your interpretation of what somebody is saying is cartoonishly evil, go ahead and re-read their post and think it over a little more since you may well be misunderstanding what they are saying (sure, Darth Vader and Satan openly embrace evil, but most of us are just trying to do GOOD, regardless of how strongly you disagree with them.) If you're not sure what a poster means, just ask them to clarify before you respond. Correctly represent the other person's opinions Once you fully understand what the other person is saying ... be honest and address what they are actually saying. Taking liberties with other people's ideas or putting words into other people's mouths is the ultimate strawman fallacy and it's very disrespectful and unproductive. Reign in the hyperbole One infraction becomes "a pattern of behavior." One problem becomes "the end of the world as we know it." While hyperbole can add humor to spice up a post, if delivered seriously it's a form of dishonestly. If somebody did something once or twice, simply say once or twice rather than finding colorful descriptors that imply something that isn't true. Use block quotes Using the block quotes not only helps everybody understand who and what you are addressing, but they demonstrate that you're willing to address their points "as-is" rather than addressing a heavily biased interpretation of their points. Acknowledge common ground One way to take other posters off the defensive and promote the free flow of ideas is to build on common ground. If your debate opponent makes a point you agree with, let them know about it and try to build on that common ground! You may discover that your and your bitter opponent may differ only slightly in opinion. Be concise Nobody likes a Wall-Of-Text, least of all when the ideas could be expressed more quickly and concisely. Remember the relationship between you and the reader ... readers pay you a complement by reading what you have to say, so you should show your appreciation by delivering your points with the least amount of tangents, obfuscation, and thinking-while-you-write. If what you have to say is long in nature, break it up into headlined sections so your post can be easily navigated. For example, readers of this post can enjoy a solid understanding of my ideas simply by scanning the section headers! Have a sense of humor. There is a difference between good natured ribbing and affronts to your person. Try to be a good sport. If humor seems to ride the line between good humor and insult, tell them how you feel so they can clarify. If they intended good humor, they will likely apologize, retract, and try to make things good. If their "humor" was a veiled attack against you, they will likely be obstinate.

01-11-2008, 07:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
Vivianne Draper witty verbage here Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: DC Area Posts: 3,140 SL Join Date: September 11, 2005 SLShopper Ads: 2 My Mood:	i don't have rules for my thumbs __________________ ~~~~~

01-11-2008, 07:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
Sooz Pascale Signing on to Answer PM The Pinata is GONE Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2,658 SL Join Date: January, 2007	This was, perhaps, the single best post I have ever read on any subject EVER. I shall try harder to take it to heart. Thank you for this. Sooz __________________ 5.5 on the highly scientific Troutometer scale.

01-11-2008, 07:18 PM	#10 (permalink)
Polymorphous Perverse Projects huh? Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 856 Frogger 3D Champion! My Mood:	but but but... How will I ever go on without hyperbole? ZOMG!!!!111 I can't post here anymore! CENSORSHIP! AMY WANTS TO TAKE AWAY MY HYBERBOLE!! YOU ARE ALL OUT TO GET ME I HATE YOU ALL MY LIFE IS OVER I"AM LEAVING YOUARE ALL TEH EBILS> WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! __________________ -Polymorphous Projects in SL Where I've been focussed lately: http://josielamour.blogspot.com/

01-11-2008, 07:31 PM	#20 (permalink)
ZATZAi Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: California Posts: 2,423 XBOX Leaderboard: 9^th	Awesome, now when do we see Weebler's guide to posting? __________________ - ZATZAi

01-11-2008, 06:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
GradyE Pensive Has edited status. Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 752 SL Join Date: Jan 15-06 My Mood:	/ignores this vicious, unprovoked, ill informed, dastardly, and maladroit attack by Aimee Weber in favor of making a nice cup of tea.

01-11-2008, 07:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
Io Zeno The Void Perverse Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: New York City Posts: 12,423 Awards: 1	tl;dr

01-11-2008, 07:01 PM	#4 (permalink)
Surreal Farber Treacherous BiSexual Doesn't Suffer Fools Gladly Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 4,327 SLShopper Ads: 6 My Mood:	It's OK to beat another forum member, but only if the post is no longer than your thumb.

01-11-2008, 07:19 PM	#11 (permalink)
Vivianne Draper witty verbage here Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: DC Area Posts: 3,140 SL Join Date: September 11, 2005 SLShopper Ads: 2 My Mood:	i'm still trying to figure out why you have rules for your thumbs

01-11-2008, 07:21 PM	#13 (permalink)
Clancy Sullivan Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: New York City Posts: 4,630 Business: Rollerskating My Mood: Awards: 1	I do like the Aimee graphic on top of the thumb rules.

01-11-2008, 07:26 PM	#17 (permalink)
CoyoteMomiji is oh-so-Slick I stopped the signal. Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,679 SL Join Date: 01/26/06 Business: Slick SLShopper Ads: 16 My Mood:	(My rule of thumb is to refrain from going after something the person can't change: history of abuse, race, etc - and only address behavior, instead.) (I'm not always successful at following it myself, but I try.)