SLUniverse Forums - Blogs - Merovigan

1, 2, 3...silly silly pig!

Merovigan — Sat, 02 May 2009 01:01:52 GMT

YouTube - Glukoza - Schweine

This was the song that greeted me the first time I played GTA 4 and seriously, I had to just not play the game for a while and listen. I LOVE this song. I just found the video, figured I'd post it here in case I wanna find it again.

And maybe yall might like it too :-p

:party:

A Life of Never Being the Expert...

Merovigan — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 12:29:25 GMT

I started my work life as a dog walker.

I became a strawboss.

I became a programmer.

I became a Help Desk tech.

I became a Systems Administrator.

I became a Project Manager.

I'll become...?

I'm dawdling on my PMP certification. I don't know why. I've done the studying. I've taken the "Boot camp" and I can probably pass the test the first try, if not the second.

But I already know I can do the job, I have the job, and since I'm not looking for a new one I'm dragging my heels over getting the actual certification.

Meanwhile I'm thinking about my next job. This contract ends in FY13...it's FY09...and the job ends in FY13....and I'm worrying about my next job.

Seriously...I need help! Four years of job security and my thought is "I wonder what happens when I lose this job..."

Ok, putting that thought on a shelf for now, I'll get back to it one day.

It occurred to me that each of my promotions has come because in the previous job I had done some "dabbling" in something. In my first job I walked dogs, but I dabbled in programing. Then I programmed and dabbled in troubleshooting and PC repair. Then I dabbled in the local server. Then I dabbbled in projects. Now I'm dabbling in contract writing and negotiations, as well as criminal justice.

I wonder where it all leads. I've just started compiling a list of all the places that publish RFPs (Request for Proposals.) These are requests from governments (usually, but not always) for services from companies. I've been writing proposals to them for practice and because one day I really think I may run a company in this space.

I walked dogs for a living 14 years ago. I graduated college 2 years ago.

I wonder where I'll be in four years.

/end of random, nonsensical blog post.

Reviews (and how NOT to do them)

Merovigan — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:45:33 GMT

It's review time - that time of year that employees dislike and middle managers FUCKING HATE.

So, I've only got about twenty to do and, of course, only about 50% of my staff bothered to do self-evaluations. Of them, at least 3 have turned in self evaluations which are WHITE hot - every place they could rank themselves (including the places that only apply to managers, which they aren't) was the highest rating.

But two, so far, were actually not too far off from what I would have rated them. I really appreciate people like this because it shows me that they "get it."

But, those people who think they do everything that's possible to do in their job better than everyone else in every way? *sigh* It's time to adjust some attitudes.

I hate reviews, but I LOVE knocking people down a few pegs. Maybe that's how I should approach this, then, because when I think about it like that it's a lot more interesting and fun then when it's "just another review."

Yeah, that!

Merovigan — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:26:25 GMT

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/08/bu...0wHdXAkmU6ffBQ

It just seems like this recession is affecting everyone. Including the people it isn't.

"BE AFRAID!" has replaced "Land of the free, home of the brave."

Luck favors the prepared...

Merovigan — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:53:27 GMT

I wonder what the people in the auto industry are doing right now. If it were me, I'd have my resume updated, any certifications I wanted/needed done, and I'd be begging Nissan/Toyota/Honda for a job, on the cheap. I figure this is the time for the Foreign Three to beef up their management structures with experienced staff from the Big Three.

But that's just me. I prepare. I fear, and then I react on that fear. I'm always worried about being fired and running "What if scenarios" through my head.

I actually had one of those "What ifs" come true this week. Yesterday an email went out to everyone in my company asking them if they had any training dreams. Turns out we need to spend about $2500 BEFORE the end of the year. Well, turns out I did! I'd been trying to find an easy way to get my PMP (Project Management Professional) certification. I've been in project management about five years now and I'm fairly good at it.

So I email my boss, who emails his boss and, after about an hour "You're approved!" So, it's set! Next week I'm going to a 4 day PMP Boot Camp. It's 10.5 hours of Project Management per day, but of course I only get to charge 8 hours. :eyebrow: Them's the breaks, I guess.

So yeah, that's about another $5k-$10k on my asking price. I won't see it from this job, of course, but in about three years I'll have to move on (contract ends) and I'm looking at finally moving into the six-digit numbers. Also, PMP certification is becoming a requirement in government work so I've got that as a possibility if I get tired of contract work. Life is good.

Of course, I was happy for about 10 seconds. Then?

"After I get my PMP...I should start thinking about a Master's Degree in IT Management."

Sometimes, I really wish I could turn ambition off and just be happy.

Sometimes.

In case you were wondering...

Merovigan — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:56:34 GMT

Your tie is supposed to "end" at your belt. Now, exactly where on your belt I dunno. I give it a range. If you manage to stop it at the middle then good for you. At the top, wow, you're an expert. And at the bottom, enh, you get it but your sloppy.

But, I keep seeing IT people with their belt ending somewhere in their midsections. Like, just about where their ribs stop.

This is WRONG. And if you wear your tie this way, you too are WRONG. Ya know, it's like wearing your underwear on the outside or wearing a nice miniskirt to work - when you're a guy.

It's wrong. So fucking stop doing it!

That is all I have to say today.

Boss's boss...

Merovigan — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:10:18 GMT

My boss�s boss.

The position of your boss�s boss tells you a lot about your position in a company. It tells you how far from the top of the organization you are. It also tells you how much shit can roll onto your head, and how much shit you can put off onto the people below you. It tells you the kind of problems which are going to arise, and it tells you the focus of your boss.

My boss gets a new boss today. Well, he technically got him Friday but, today, he meets him and its all official. I think I�m meeting with him as well, since I�m �Part of the team.� I could be wrong�kinda hope I am � I usually try to avoid bosses boss.

In the past my boss�s boss was a middle manager. First there was John � the pot-smoking night guy who worked at the animal hospital. He lived in the small apartment attached to the place and did night-walks and pilled the animals who needed pilling. He was, at the time, a Loser with a capital L; a truly wasted talent. Of course I didn�t see that at the time. To me he was the cool guy who lived at work and ran the place. But he was in his late 20�s and thought that if you made your age in salary you were doing alright (ie. He was 29 so he thought making $29k was good money.) Funny, even then as an 18 year-old know-nothing dog walker I knew better than that. My one takeaway from John actually came from his wife (he eventually got married and moved his wife into the apartment in the animal hospital)�we were talking about cars and I said that one day I planned on owning a Jaguar. She laughed and said something to the effect of �yeah, right.� He didn�t. He looked at me thoughtfully and said �I dunno�I wouldn�t bet against that.� Last I heard John had gotten his life closer to being right, stopped smoking and drinking, and was traveling more. Good luck man, fight the good fight.

The next Boss�s boss I had was Pat. Pat�s a middle-manager if there ever was one and she�s happy right where she is. She likes to micro-manage and expects her managers to do the same, on occasion. I remember having to show my boss exactly how I was going to perform an upgrade and remarking to him that this seemed a bit of a waste of his time to have to watch. Didn�t he trust me to document my job? �Yes, but�well�you know Pat.� From her I learned the frustrations of a boss and to try to be nice to them whenever possible; they�ve got a bad deal sometimes and they know both your pain as well as the pain of a manager. Pat�s still doing her thing, near as I can tell.

I wonder what the future holds for this boss�s boss. He�s not a middle manager and in his �introduction to the staff� he corrected my boss. �Thanks for the introduction but, I�m not the Vice President � I�m the Executive Vice President.� Thanks man�noted.

Wow�after looking at the company�s org chart I just realized that, for some people�I�m a boss�s boss. I mean�not many people, and they�re pretty far down the chain but�still�

Dude that�s fucking weird!

Winners, losers, and the chaffe in the middle...

Merovigan — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:24:45 GMT

There are winners, there are losers. The winners are better than the losers. They�re smarter. They�re more adaptable. They produce more. They accomplish more. In almost all ways it is better to be a winner than it is to be a loser.

I live in a culture and a time where this simple truism is rejected by some as being elitist, classist, insensitive, or politically incorrect. I live in a time of �Honorable Mentions� and �Participation Awards.�There are times where firing someone for being bad at their job is difficult to impossible. The culture I find myself in allows for �I wasn�t warned� to be an excuse for everything from spilling hot coffee on yourself to falling asleep at your desk.

I�ve got a friend who talks about this as the �Everybody�s a winner� mentality. The theory goes something like �Well, it would hurt Johnny�s feelings if he didn�t get an award, so we give him and everyone else one too.� Of course, there�s still first, second and third (lest we be confused for not honoring competition) but there�s also this �Thanks for showing up!� prize. As if showing up meant something.

To me, this is why we have people who show up to work every day, do the job poorly, and expect to not be fired. We told them showing up was enough when they were young, and now they are grown-ups who have had it engrained in themselves that showing up to something was all it really took to be considered part of it.

I, and I think objective reality, disagree. Showing up is part of being a winner, sure. You can�t win if you aren�t there, however; the risk of losing is also part of winning. How valuable is first place when there was never a chance for you to get �no place�? What�s the point of competing if no one is going to go home crying? What�s the value of winning if you never had to worry about losing in the first place?

So, I�d like to suggest three new prizes. If we simply MUST keep an Honorable Mention or Participation Award then I must insist we add three more � �Third Worst�, �Second Worst�, and �The Absolute Worst�. These describe awards should be given in competitions to the competitors who clearly thought that just being there was good enough and who didn�t bother to put in enough effort. The trophies should be pictures of dog shit, or a kid with his head hung low and his shoulders slumped, with the worst �YOU SUCK!� displayed beneath his name.

I�ve earned these awards myself more than a few times, in life. And I�ve given them to people when I ranked them for their promotions. I�ve seen it done in the real world and I�ve seen managers put all sorts of bows around the concept in order to avoid hurt feelings or lawsuits. Hell, I�ve sat in a room with an �Absolute Worst� award winner and convinced him that his performance was what it clearly was. So why not start children off early in life showing them what it�s all about? Lets be honest with ourselves about who has what it takes to make it and who doesn�t, and lets communicate failure in an open and honest fashion. The cost? A few hurt feelings. The reward? Success would actually mean something, and people would have shame as a motivator.

Win/Win!

Religion...

Merovigan — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 23:03:17 GMT

Something was said in a forum post, to the tune of "The problem atheists have with the religious is that the proselytize."

I've come to realize that that's really not my problem with them. My problem is they're wrong.

I have no problem with preaching - I have a problem with preaching something that isn't objectively true and verifiable. I have a problem with stating something as true and unquestionable.

Defining us, in the Us vs. Them dichotomy

Merovigan — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:42:06 GMT

Humans need enemies. It's weird, it's retarded, but it appears to be natural. Many people seem content to allow their enemy list to flow to them through whatever groups they find themselves part of. Democrat, American, Christian, Black, whatever group you closely identify with grants you plethora of "haters" for you to juxtapose your own needs against.

You want freedom - they want inequality. You want safety, they want destruction. You want hot sauce, they want mayo.

I've had a thought forming for a while and it is beginning to form into words. The thought started off as "those people are retarded..." and it kept repeating itself whenever I encountered a new group. It was disconcerting because, often, I found myself agreeing with much they had to say but disagreeing with their motivation. Feminists want women to have equal rights, but say nothing about the times when men don't have equality. Some Blacks complain about whitey keeping them down, but say nothing about the times when an undeserving person of color gets a job because of Affirmative Action.

What is it in us that seems to require us to throw objectivity out of the nearest window in order to fight for a cause? Shouldn't equality itself be our driving motivation? Isn't that a laudable goal, without having to pick a side? How the fuck do you even pick a side in equality and not immediately become a hypocrite?

"I'm fighting for the end of discrimination, but only the end of it for women!" Aroo? Isn't that fighting for the discrimination and marginalization of men?

Back then, to the dichotomy - us vs. them. I'm realizing that I define "us" as people who are capable of seeing and appreciating all of life's problems and fighting to end the root causes of them. "Them" are the people who are either too stupid, too poorly motivated, or too un-empathetic to be botheredwith addressing root causes and who would rather simply chuck stones at the other side.

Hmm...but, isn't that chucking a stone at the other side? Is that definition hypocritical?

Dunno...thoughts become words slowly and this was a first stab.

Why do I always defeat myself...

Merovigan — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:19:20 GMT

and why am I surprised at what I accomplish when I stop?

For a while I've been trying to get a click/drag automation class created. It's nothing complicated, not even real programming, but it'd be a nice tool to have in my "cheater" bag. I just wanted to have a programatical way to, simply, say "Left click here, then move the mouse there."

I spent years with this idea in my head but I kept making it this huge unattainable goal. I investigated the code and I kept letting myself believe that it was so difficult and beyond me.

Today, in the span of 30 minutes, I completed the tool.

Why do I let myself believe that what I want is impossible?