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Originally Posted by Lo Jacobs Etta James' songs are all about unrequited love and being walked all over by a man but loving him anyway. Nobody can say she herself is a pushover ...
This is a bad statement. Women are not a baseball team. We do not always want the same thing, and sometimes we don't know what we want (I'm not one of those people). And I'll be damned if any man thinks he can or should control me. Harry Potter had some great strong female characters and the smartest person in the book (aside from Dumbledore) is Hermione. It is obvious from the books that JK Rowling believes in tolerance and decency, as well as intelligence in both sexes. The message is very clear here and it's one of the many reasons why I like those books.
I'll tell you what I want. I want a smart, well-read guy who views me as an equal. Someone who includes me in his thought process as I include him in mine, someone who likes to discuss things. More importantly, I want someone who understands the why in things. Why do people do the things they do? Why does he like Frank Zappa? Even though Frank Zappa songs should never be played within my hearing range?
I don't want a pushover and I don't want someone who reads Maxim magazine (I want someone who reads the New Yorker and Harper's) and I don't want an asshole.
It's true some women want someone who is dominant, and that works for them. Some men want someone who is dominant too.
I've got a bit of a hangover so I'm sorry for the misguided direction of this post, but hopefully it makes some sense. I have a lot to say on this subject. |
Well, there is sometimes a grain of truth in well-known generalizations. There's a reason that the "Women say they want nice guys, but really want bad boys" type of generalizations exist.
Of course, not everyone is going to fit those (or any other) generalizations, and I applaud you for not being that way, but I will tell you Lo, as a 43 year old male - my male friends and aquaintances who are overbearing with women tend to have some sort of draw that I don't. Some women also seem to get into a cycle with them, where they go back to this type, even after repeatedly being mentally and/or physically abused. My mother is one of them.