Etta James' songs are all about unrequited love and being walked all over by a man but loving him anyway. Nobody can say she herself is a pushover ...
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Here is my preconception which I'd love to have holes poked in: women actually do want their mate to be caring, controlling, dominant, and dare I say paternal to some degree despite our intellectual belief that they don't or shouldn't.
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This is a bad statement. Women are not a baseball team. We do not always want the same thing, and sometimes we don't know what we want (I'm not one of those people). And I'll be damned if any man thinks he can or should control me.
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So why do we like the fantasies that we like? Because they resonate with our intrinsic desires? In the case of Harry Potter novels, you couldn't ask for more adolescent wish fulfillment: socially outcast kid turns out to have superpowers that win him the respect of everyone. What's not to like about that? Interestingly, Potter appealed about equally to boys and girls. Did it hit the same nerve in both sexes? Did boys see the powers they wanted and the girls see a powerful, crushworthy boy or did they both see themselves in Harry?
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Harry Potter had some great strong female characters and the smartest person in the book (aside from Dumbledore) is Hermione. It is obvious from the books that JK Rowling believes in tolerance and decency, as well as intelligence in
both sexes. The message is very clear here and it's one of the many reasons why I like those books.
I'll tell you what
I want. I want a smart, well-read guy who views me as an equal. Someone who includes me in his thought process as I include him in mine, someone who likes to discuss things. More importantly, I want someone who understands the
why in things. Why do people do the things they do? Why does he like Frank Zappa? Even though Frank Zappa songs should never be played within my hearing range?
I don't want a pushover and I don't want someone who reads
Maxim magazine (I want someone who reads the
New Yorker and
Harper's) and I don't want an asshole.
It's true some women want someone who is dominant, and that works for them. Some
men want someone who is dominant too.
I've got a bit of a hangover so I'm sorry for the misguided direction of this post, but hopefully it makes some sense. I have a lot to say on this subject.