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Malachi · 12-12-2008, 02:46 PM

In the discussion thread here about the book and film "Twilight" it was pointed out just how passive and enthralled the girl was and how manipulative and commanding the golden boy she desired was. The story is a relatively classic romantic fairy tale told in horrid prose.

My pubescent daughter - like many of her peers - are much enamored of the books and film and I'm planning on discussing the theme with her. Not because I think she doesn't separate fantasy from reality, but because of a general cultural confusion regarding sex roles. By confusion I mean that we believe that women and men are equals and their relationships ought reflect that ideal yet we have a persistent mythology of women wanting to be swept off their feet by a prince charming.

Here is my preconception which I'd love to have holes poked in: women actually do want their mate to be caring, controlling, dominant, and dare I say paternal to some degree despite our intellectual belief that they don't or shouldn't. I think a great example is in the song "Someone to Watch Over Me" written by a couple of men almost 80 years ago but which has been recorded a whole lot of women up to the current day including notably "strong" women like Rickie Lee Jones and Sinéad O'Connor. If the song represented an idea or sentiment which has become repugnant over the century it would likely be dropped from the old standards, but even Amy Winehouse has recorded it in this decade.

So why do we like the fantasies that we like? Because they resonate with our intrinsic desires? In the case of Harry Potter novels, you couldn't ask for more adolescent wish fulfillment: socially outcast kid turns out to have superpowers that win him the respect of everyone. What's not to like about that? Interestingly, Potter appealed about equally to boys and girls. Did it hit the same nerve in both sexes? Did boys see the powers they wanted and the girls see a powerful, crushworthy boy or did they both see themselves in Harry?

Would I do well to ask my daughter to analyze the power relationship in Twilight and suggest that she view Bella as someone whose desires were detrimental? Am I granting too much power to modern myth as a cause rather than a reflection of humanity?

Yeah, it's kind of a big question, but you folks are some of the best I know whose answers will enlighten me. Thanks.

12-12-2008, 02:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
Malachi the bathwater & the baby fish and bees are inherently sarcastic Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 3,664	Rapunzel and what women really want In the discussion thread here about the book and film "Twilight" it was pointed out just how passive and enthralled the girl was and how manipulative and commanding the golden boy she desired was. The story is a relatively classic romantic fairy tale told in horrid prose. My pubescent daughter - like many of her peers - are much enamored of the books and film and I'm planning on discussing the theme with her. Not because I think she doesn't separate fantasy from reality, but because of a general cultural confusion regarding sex roles. By confusion I mean that we believe that women and men are equals and their relationships ought reflect that ideal yet we have a persistent mythology of women wanting to be swept off their feet by a prince charming. Here is my preconception which I'd love to have holes poked in: women actually do want their mate to be caring, controlling, dominant, and dare I say paternal to some degree despite our intellectual belief that they don't or shouldn't. I think a great example is in the song "Someone to Watch Over Me" written by a couple of men almost 80 years ago but which has been recorded a whole lot of women up to the current day including notably "strong" women like Rickie Lee Jones and Sinéad O'Connor. If the song represented an idea or sentiment which has become repugnant over the century it would likely be dropped from the old standards, but even Amy Winehouse has recorded it in this decade. So why do we like the fantasies that we like? Because they resonate with our intrinsic desires? In the case of Harry Potter novels, you couldn't ask for more adolescent wish fulfillment: socially outcast kid turns out to have superpowers that win him the respect of everyone. What's not to like about that? Interestingly, Potter appealed about equally to boys and girls. Did it hit the same nerve in both sexes? Did boys see the powers they wanted and the girls see a powerful, crushworthy boy or did they both see themselves in Harry? Would I do well to ask my daughter to analyze the power relationship in Twilight and suggest that she view Bella as someone whose desires were detrimental? Am I granting too much power to modern myth as a cause rather than a reflection of humanity? Yeah, it's kind of a big question, but you folks are some of the best I know whose answers will enlighten me. Thanks.