Originally Posted by Cocoanut Koala  This reminds me, I once made a pact with this guy when I was 17, OMG WHAT A HUNK HUNK HUNK what a TOTAL Greek God he was, that we would get married when we were forty. (He figured by then he could maybe stand the idea of getting married.)
Well, we maintained a life-long friendship (something I've done a lot of since we moved around a fair amount, so that part in the article about how that was unusual struck me as odd - is it really odd? I don't think so, I think it's even less odd for people who keep living in the same area) - but by the time we were 40, I was married and he was an alcoholic.
So - we didn't get married. Actually, he never got married, and it was a very sad story for this gorgeous brainy wonderful sensitive guy. He started on the road to being an alcoholic when he was like TEN, no lie (his family was quite dysfunctional), and then just kept it up.
Eventually, about eight years ago, he found himself literally in the gutter, then in the hospital with bad liver problems, and sobered up. Went back to college on scholarships, got not just one degree but TWO, in about three years.
And sadly, a couple years ago, fell off the wagon again. Even though he had had that hideous liver pain and a bad prognosis should he drink again. And, as has been typical over the years, his buddy and I haven't heard from him in a couple of years now. He has sometimes got so far gone that he disappears for years.
The problem with that is, we won't know if he dies. Hopefully, someone will know, and will tell my friend, who will tell me.
But it is such a terrible loss, that was a really bright and funny and wonderful guy.
However, if I hadn't been married (and he hadn't been an alcoholic), I can report that we definitely would have gotten married at 40.
But you know, I am sort of philosophic about him. I'm grateful that we had the few years of sobriety with him that we did, and that HE had them. I think about that, those few years where he finally reached his potential, and had some peace.
I will be true blue to him forever and beyond and into heaven, where hopefully his personal demons will finally be dispersed and life will be easier for him. Assuming there is a heaven.
coco |