If I've seen one consistent theme across my internet experience, it's been that people will always have conflicts. Sounds human, right? So is it just me or do more of the 'virtual' conflicts and disagreements result in long-term grudges than they do in RL?
My Dad has had a long term grudge against my aunt for most of his life. I can't understand why he won't just let it go now that they're both in the twilight of their years. But Dad is a stubborn guy sometimes and he's not a gauge by which I choose to judge the rest of humanity.
Then I see people on the web who are, usually, much younger with a lot more going for them in terms of good lives and future prospects. I've seen their grudges carry over from one forum to another, from one community to another. I've seen them fire up flame wars at the drop of a hat because of some ill-advised comment or online behavior that happened months or years ago. It's almost Pavlovian: when they see that screen name, they start frothing at the mouth and going out of their way to start another fight.
And I'm taken aback by the extent of people's vitriole. I don't consider myself *that* much of a positive person, and I know I can internalize hurt too much for my own good sometimes. But by and large I like to think that most people have decent hearts and deserve some sort of forgiveness. We all have bad days, and on the internet one bad day can sometimes translate into all sorts of rotten karma that will haunt us for months.
I'm asking y'all, my adopted internet family, why you think this is? Do grudges last longer on the web than RL? Is it just easier to say hurtful things here and then easier to internalize that hurt? Or am I just too much of a Polyanna and some people aren't as nice as I like to believe? What the hell's going on and why is there so much anger and venom sometimes? Whatever happened to "forgiveness"?
I'm not singling ANYONE out here, so don't get all paranoid. It's not just
SLU where this happens. But hey, if the shoe fits maybe it's time to ask oneself some serious questions and total up the energy spent being pissed off at someone?