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Old 07-17-2014, 11:55 AM   #29 (permalink)
Lil Lowey
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What do you mean "this isn't a nude beach"?
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
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Continuing the David Thorne hilarity:

Liam Neeson

I arrived home Tuesday afternoon to discover a framed photo of our dog on our living room wall. I like our dog but when I am home, so is the dog. I don't need to see photos of it. Especially if the photo shows the dog sitting on the couch that is immediately below the framed photo and the dog is actually sitting on that couch at the time.
Sitting down next to the dog, I grabbed a magazine from the coffee table and flicked through until I came to an interview with actor Liam Neeson. The facing page featured a photo of Mr Neeson in a suit, sitting on a chair with one leg crossed over the other, holding a glass of red wine. Ripping out the page, I replaced the photo of the dog in the frame with it.
Arriving home a short time later, it took Holly less than fifteen seconds to storm into the kitchen brandishing the frame and demanding, "What the fuck is this?"
"It's Golden Globe award winning actor Liam Neeson," I replied.
"Yes, I know who Liam Neeson is," Holly responded, "Where's the dog?"
"It's sitting on the couch," I replied, "It's always sitting on the couch. And having a photo above the couch of it doing so is weird. We may as well put a photo on the wall of all three of us sitting on the couch and then sit on the couch and look at it. Or put up a mirror."
As she stormed back out in search of the missing photo, Holly said over her shoulder, "It's not as weird as having a photo of Liam Neeson on the wall."
"I like Liam Neeson," I replied.
"Well I like the fucking dog," Holly yelled back, "If you love Liam Neeson so much why don't you marry him instead. Then you can put up hundreds of photos of him."
Which is a ridiculous statement because if I was married to Liam Neeson and saw him everyday, I obviously wouldn't need photos of him on the wall to look at. Also, if I was married to Liam Neeson and we had a bare wall, we could probably afford a professional interior designer who knew what they were doing.
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